Ashley Nobody
by secretsnothidden
Summary: A Spashley story. Need I say more? Through the eyes of Ashley Davies. Read for yourself, it's bound to be interesting. Funny.
1. Chapter 1

**::A/N::: **

**hope y'all like it, its just a side project lol you know Creeps in like a spider was supposed to be a side project to my first story but people like that one more. So this one is more like me side side project… well long story short: enjoy.**

**xoxo**

**Ashley Davies is basically a Los Angeles nobody. She lives with her mother and father who are pretty wealthy people. Both her parents being brain surgeons gives them deep pockets. Her sister, Kyla, is basically the poster child for perfection. She's on the lacrosse team, the soccer team and god knows what else team. What teams does Ashley waste her precious time in... none. She's basically the black sheep, go figure. She's strictly into chicks, of course her parents don't know, but her parents/relatives consider her a punk rocker. Despite all their differences, Kyla and Ashley are fairly close. Ashley tells Kyla everything and vice versa.**

"..._For heaven's sake I know you're sorry, but you won't stop crying. This anniversary may never be the same. Inside I hope you know I'm dying With my heart beside me in shattered pieces that may never be replaced. And if I died right now you'd never be the same..."_ I sing my heart out on the stupid stage with it's stupid burning lights that are making me sweat. I'm usually not nervous when I sing in public but it's this song. Mayday Parade's "_Three Cheers For Five Years"_ just make me feel so much and all at one time... stupid song. "..._So when this is over don't blow your composure baby I can't forgive you I know you want me to want you I want to."_ God, that was hell on my lungs, I might need to stop smoking... nah.

I hear the usual applauses on open mic night at 'The Pit'. I don't know how Jaimie convinces me to even come here, this place is so... blah.

I place my guitar in its case then drag me and my crappy guitar off stage feeling pretty idiotic for even going up there in the first fucking place. Stupid Jamie.

I walk in the far, far back where our usual table is located and all Jamie can do is smile her Jaimie smile. She's lucky she's cute or I would've blown her off a while ago.

"Ashley! You were so amazing, like always, though." she says standing up with her huge ass purse. Pointless by the way. I mean if you have that much stuff to carry that you need a suitcase on your arm then you need to do some serious reorganizing.

Aside from that stupid bag Jamie's pretty amazing on the eyes. She has these blue/gray eyes that could stop a bull from charging, just so gorgeous. And then her natural blonde locks make her even more enticing, growl, but she likes to experiment with her bangs so they're always a different color, right now they're black, but it doesn't take away from the full picture. Then her tattoo: a bracelet made of little hearts around her left wrist. Tattoos are just sexy to me, no argument needed. But I don't like Jaimie like that I mean I like girls but not Jamie I mean, ugh, Jamie's not really a girl to me anymore.

I sigh then roll my eyes, "Can we just get the fuck up out of here, please, Jamie? I don't even know how you drag me here every other week. I'm never doing it again, bitch." I walk toward the exit, which is also the entrance, go figure.

Jamie catches up with me and begins to walk next to me, "Whatever, you'll come back if I ask you to." I know she's smirking because she knows that she's so damn cute.

I smirk, too, but continue looking straight ahead, "Because you know that you're too cute for me to say no to, you can't always use that."

"I can if it works."

"You sound like me." I say smelling coffee, gotta be Starbucks and now I gotta go to Starbucks.

"I learned everything I know from you." she says lacing her left hand with my right.

I shake her off, "I'm still mad at you, ass. Don't go holding my hand." I say being guided by the smell of Starbucks. Oh, and FYI Jamie doesn't like me we just do gay stuff like that. She's completely straight and I'm completely gay, there's no doubt whatsoever. Basically, we don't care what people think of us, we'd run around naked in public if we didn't have a criminal record already. Just kidding. Not really, but we would run around naked if we could, we talked about it.

"Get over it." she says.

I don't say anything for a minute, "Okay, over it. Now let's get some 'Bucks."

"Can do." she says as she slides her left arm through my right arm. Now that I let her do.

We walk into Starbucks and I just get kicked in the face by the smell of frappichinos and hot chocolates and whatever they have in here. Ooh, toffee almond bars and muffins.

It's kind crowded but not really, "I'm gonna go grab us a table before the teeny boppers get there first. Get the usual." I say walking away from her and I'm already halfway at the table.

"I know, I know." she says walking up to get in line and, damn it, it's long. Anyways, I slide a chair up to the table and sit down and then I slide a chair next to me to put my feet in and to save it for Jaimie. The people in here are vultures, caw, caw, they prey on unsuspecting wooden chairs like these. Man, I really have too big of an imagination.

Oh my god, she's been in that line for at least five minutes, my ass is going numb. Where's the hell is she? Probably flirting with the cashier to get free drinks or something. Ugh, I stand up because I need to see what the hold up is but I might lose our seats so I'm just gonna sit back down. I put my elbow up on the table then lean my face against my palm. Hmm, I think my lightning needs a pal. I'm talking about my tattoo, I have a lightning bolt on the underside of my forearm. I think I might go get some more ink done, I'll ask Kyla about it.

Jesus, what's taking so long, now I'm sure it's been like six minutes. I put my head down and someone bumps into the back of my chair so I lift my head up to see who. "Watch it, queer eye."

Ooh, great it's bitch face, Madison, "Oh, trust me, I am watching it Madison, and it's not a good view." I say looking at her ass then up into her eyes.

"Ugh," she scoffs disgustedly, "You're so gay."

"Really? I didn't know, now tell me something else about myself." I say sarcastically.

She smiles then un-smile as she walks away from me. And then her little cheer squad follows behind her, Tiffany, Rachel, Mindy, Mindy, Mindy, Rachel. Actually I don't know all their names, I just know two and that's only because Kyla likes to hang out with them, sadly.

Anyway, then some blonde girl walks by that I haven't really seen before, she must be the new girl I've heard so much about. She's cute. Let me introduce myself, I take my feet off the chair, sit up straight then grab her hand as she brushes against my chair, "Hey, I'm Ashley." and I give her one of my famous smiles.

She smiles back, she might be one of the nice cheer whores... I actually hope she's not a whore. "Hey, I'm Spencer."

"I like you're name." I'm still holding onto her hand, "And I would ask to shake your hand but looks like I already have it."

She smiles, "Looks like."

Hmm, she's not bitchy... now. Maybe it's a facade, maybe at school she'll be a bitch to me, they all are. "So you go to King, right?"

She nods, "Yeah, you go there, too, right... Ashley?" she says remembering my name. Better remember my name, you'll be screaming it later.

"Yeah, Spencer." I say making sure that name is etched into my mind. Spencer. Spencer.

"C'mon, Spencer, we have to go over cheers!" Madison yells across the store to Spencer. Spencer takes her hand back.

She smiles sweetly at me, "I gotta go, nice meeting you, Ashley."

"Same to you." I say watching her walk away and she runs into a chair on the way over to Madison's table. She looks back at me blushing then heads toward Madison, that was cute. She has a nice a--

"You wouldn't believe how many times they screwed up our order. We've been coming her for like a year and they can't get our shit down, jesus fucking Christ." Jamie says blocking my view of Spencer walking away. I lean to the side so I can see Spencer, "Who are you looking at?" Jaime turns around and looks at Madison then looks down at me, "Madison? You're checking out Madison? Are you sick?" she puts her hand up to my head.


	2. Chapter 2

I slap her hand away and focus my attention on her, "Psh, no. I'll tell you when you sit down, you just missed one of the cutest girls ever." I say smiling. When I see someone I think is just so cute I can't stop smiling, it's ridiculous. Someone could tell me that my car got stolen and all I would think is 'I bet cute Spencer wouldn't steal'.

Jamie pushes my drink to me and I catch it with both hands, "Ooh, caramel frap, did I mention how much I love you?"

She sits down in the chair next to me, "You may have mentioned it."

I look up at Jamie, away from my beloved frap, "I was talking to my frappachino."

She sucks her teeth then takes a sip of her chocolate concoction, gross, "Now who were you staring at. I hope it's not Madison. I would kill you." she says being completely serious, hell, I'd kill myself first before she even had a chance if I liked that bitch.

I take a sip of my caramel drink, heaven by the way, then I nod my head in the direction of Spencer, "You see that girl over there with the blonde hair? Her."

Jamie turns around in her chair to see who I'm talking about, "You mean the one with the blonde hair? Even though they all have blonde hair." she says and oh that's right.

"Uh, the one with the ponytail and the only one wearing jeans instead of a skank skirt." although I'd like to see her in one. I smirk at my stupid joke as Jamie turns around to look at me.

"She's cute and what's up with the stupid smirk? You crazy in love already?" she says smiling at me knowing that I don't believe in love.

I lose my smirk, it must've run away, "No, shut up. Isn't she cute though? She talked to me, her name's Spencer, she goes to King."

Jamie nods her head, "Yeah, I know, seen her around."

"And why didn't you tell me?" I say wanting to jump across this table to slap her.

"Uh, she hangs out with Madison, she can't be that cool." Jamie says which is somewhat true. It's basically like this: anyone that hangs out with Madison is a bitch and everyone else that doesn't is just amazing... maybe Spencer's just confused.

"Well, you never know, she could be confused. She might need some guidance, I could be her guide." I say smiling, Jamie shakes her head because she knows what I'm getting at.

"Psh, whatever. And how do you even know if she likes girls?"

"She was flirting with me, I held her hand then whole time we talked." I say like that's some big accomplishment... because it is.

"You sure she wasn't just being nice?" Jamie asks while placing her green sidekick on the table next to her drink.

I nod, "Yep. She totally wants to get to know me better." I say kinda cocky while drinking my drink. Jamie looks back at Spencer. Jamie turns around and looks at me with a smile,"What?" I ask.

"You may be right, she just looked over here but she looked away when I turned around." I smirk and Jamie places her hand on mine, that's on my drink, I'll never let go, Frap, never, "Look, don't get your hopes up. You have a thing about going for the straight girls."

"Ugh, thanks, mom. Chill, nothing even happened yet. She's just cute, that's all I said."

"And that's how it started with Erin.." Jamie says recalling one of my past screw-ups, one of the biggest ones actually. I guess you could say I was head over heels for Erin but it's like that old time story. Girl likes girl, but girl's a cheerleader bitch and the other girl is just a nobody. Nobody girl loves Cheerleader bitch and cheerleader bitch claims to like Nobody girl. So cheerleader bitch pretends to love nobody girl and then finally just outs nobody girl to everyone.

Basically, Erin told me she loved me and she wanted to be with me forever and ever and ever... bull crap. We were _secretly _together for about five months before Madison found out and gave Erin a choice: either be with me or stay on the squad. I bet you can't guess which one she chose.

"I'm not in love with her, okay? She's just cute." I say. Jamie takes her hand back, "And keep your hand off of me before she thinks we're together."

Jamie rolls her eyes at me then sips at her drink, "Whatever, I'm way to cute for you, kid." she says like she's that much older than me, she's only a year, she's eighteen years old.

I smirk, "Psh, I think I'm way too cute for--" ugh, her stupid phone cut me off. She looks at her sidekick then gets a big smile on her face, stupid ass, "Who is it?" I bet I can guess. Seth, the new guy, she has such horrible taste in guys but then again, I think guys are horrible in general.

"Seth," she says before picking it up and answering it, "Hey. Nothing, hanging out with Ashley. You know her, the girl with the brown hair. Yeah..." and of course she goes on and on and on.

After five minutes and the rest of my delicious caramel frappachino, I try to get another glimpse at Spencer, I don't know why I cant stop looking her. And right when I look over the rest of the cheer whores get up with their purses in hand, they must be going to the bathroom. Well, I guess it's good that Spencer isn't the one girl that's afraid to piss alone in a Starbucks, that's actually a great sign.

Madison walks toward me, twisting and turning her hips, trying to walk all sexy, and as the skank walks right by me she says, "You wish."

Did I mention that I hate that bitch? But, of course, the little cheer chihuahuas follow behind her and giggle at her joke. I roll my eyes and Jamie jumps at them while she's still on the phone, she's so not intimidating but I love her to death. I laugh and she goes back to talking to Seth.

I look back over at Spencer and she's taking out her cellphone, hmm, this seems like a sign or a perfect time to go get them digits. I stand, "I'll be right back," I say to Jamie but she didn't hear me because of her mindless chattering. I walk over to Spencer and pull a chair up, right next to her, "Hey, again."

She looks up from her phone and smiles at me and I just HAVE to smile back at her, well, smirk because I don't do that smile thing too well, "Hi."

"So you're on the cheerleading squad?" I will forgive you, Spence.

Her smile fades but I still can't help but to keep on smirking, "I was thinking about it and plus everyone on the squad's pretty nice."

"Ha, nice? Right. You haven't been at this school long enough." I roll my eyes.

She laughs, "So I shouldn't hang out with them?"

This could be the perfect time for some serious flirting. And go, "Mm, no, I'm not saying that. I'm saying that you should hang out with me." I smirk at her.

Wow, she's turning fire engine red, cute, "Um, okay, that's very straightforward." she says smiling and laughing.

I flip open my blue sidekick, blue's my favorite color, "And so is this: can I get your number?"

"And why would you possibly want my number?" she asks.

"For a nice little booty call." I joke and she gets even redder.

She giggles then takes my sidekick to put in her number, which doesn't take her very long to do. She hands my phone back to me, "There."

"Ew, why are you even talking to her?" Madison says with her super annoying voice.

I stand up, "That's my cue to leave."

"Leave town I hope." Madison jokes; not funny by the way.

I smirk, "I can't do that, who would you make fun of?"

Madison laughs, "True but I'm sure I could find someone."

I lose my smirk then roll my eyes, "You know, Madison," I get really close and personal, like, I'm about 5 inches away from her face, "People usually pick on people that they really like. Do you like me, Madison?"

Madison rolls her eyes and starts huffing and puffing and speaking in tongues, "Uh—no—what—no—freak." She sure has a way with words.

I back away from her then look over at Spencer, she's just smiling away. I wink at her then look back at Madison, "I'll see you around, bitch."

"Same to you, Ellen." Oh haha, Ellen, funny.

"That's clever, even for you." I look over to Spencer, "Bye." then walk back to the table and sit with Jamie, who's finally off the phone.

"What the hell were you doing over there?" she asks pointing in Madison and Spencer's direction, she's so obvious.

"Me? Sorry if I didn't want to sit around staring at that stupid face you had."

Her mouth drops, "How is my face stupid?"

"Are you kidding? You start getting this flirty smile and then you get a little bit of drool on the right side of your mouth but," I search her face, "it's not there anymore. Don't worry about it."

She laughs as she pushes me lightly, "Whatever, jerk."

We talk for ten more minutes before finally deciding to leave. When I stand up I look over at Spencer, who was staring at me, and wave at her. She smiles then looks back at Madison. I bet she's talking about what the cheerleaders are expected to do. You know, like, go to all the school functions, practice after school, oh and let's not forget, they must've had sex with at least two guys from each sports team. I might be making that last one up but all the girls on the team have done at least two guys on the basketball team. One of the two guys is always Aiden Dennison, ugh, such a jock, can't believe I... did stuff with him. I wish I woulda figured out I was gay before him.

**::::A/N:::::**

**Yep, there was Ashden.**

**xoxo**


	3. Chapter 3

**::::A/N:::**

**I've been getting a lot of positive feedback…. Great. Lol. Especially on how cocky Ashley is, I think it's pretty sexy but that's probably just me. Lol. Well enjoy this great chapter [[ I know I said great a lot but hey, there's no greater word**

**xoxo**

We throw our trash away before heading out the door. "So where to now?" Jamie asks.

I look at my phone, it's 9:45, I yawn, "My house?"

"Already? It's only like ten, we should be partying."

I sigh, "It's 9:45 and it's a school night."

"Since when do you care about school?" she asks, knowing that I would never say anything like that unless...

"My parents said if I didn't start getting home at a decent time they'd revoke my driving privileges." I say thinking I'd have a heart attack if I couldn't drive.

"So that means you have to be home before 10?"

"Some time around 10."

I see my blue SUV and walk around to the driver's side door. I stick my car key in the car lock and the doors unlock. I open my door, get in then close my door. I look over to Jamie, what the hell? She's talking to some guy, he looks like a bum. I roll my eyes then honk the horn and she has the nerve to look at me like I'm annoying her. Ugh, I'm gonna bitch slap her when she gets in. I turn on the car and look through my CD collection for Dance Gavin Dance's "Downtown Battle Mountain" and I found it. I put it in, on shuffle, and the first song that comes on is "Lemon Meringue Tie", my favorite next to "Strawberry Andre".

After the song's over Jamie finally gets in the car. "So, he was hot." she says putting on her seatbelt, smiling.

I stare at her, "That's great."

"Aw, you're not mad at me, right?" she asks.

I take my eyes off of her and put them on the road as I take the car out of park. "No, of course not. Even though you just left me to talk to some kid on the street." I say sarcastically. What the hell? Is she retarded of course I'm a little upset.

I drive toward my house, "Oh, c'mon, now. He was super hot."

I roll my eyes, "He has a penis."

"Oh," she says bringing her hand up to her chin, "You like girls, right?"

The sides of my mouth curve up, I mean she's stupid, I have to laugh, "You are such a jackass."

"But I'm _**your**_ jackass." Jamie's gotta be own personal comedian. I smirk then shake my head but I make sure to keep my eyes on the road. Or try at least. This would be the night that all the all easy girls and sluts come out. "So, you were really good at 'The Pit', tonight. Getting prepped for auditions? Good." Jamie says like she's sure I'm even going to go audition.

"How do you know I'm gonna do it?"

"Well, because I'm gonna make you. You know I have the power to make you do anything, right?"

I roll my eyes then scoff, "I only agreed to tonight because I had nothing else better to do, don't think you can pull this crap again."

"Whatever, the only reason you hung out with me tonight is because Crissy was busy with the family." She hates Crissy.

I actually smile this time, showing my teeth in all their beauty. I mean they better be beautiful after three years of metal mouth. "Do I sense a little bit of jealousy?"

"No. She's just such a bitch, I don't understand how you can even be around her. I mean, she's a stupid blonde, I thought you hated that."

Red light. I look at Jamie, "I who says I have to listen to her when she talks? I mean boobs," I gesture toward mine, which are barely even there, "face." I point to my face.

"So you're shallow then?" Jamie smiles.

I shake my head, "No, I'm not you. And I'm just kidding. She may not be smart but hey there are no requirements on love."

"You love her?!" she screams when the light turns green.

With my foot on the gas, "Uh, whoa, screecher monkey, chill out. No, I'm kidding. I don't love her. She's a cool girl... sometimes but I'm not in love with her. I'm just having fun with her. Harmless fun."

Jamie looks out her window while she rolls it down, "Hmph, well you better tell her that before I go psycho on Miss Priss."

I laugh. Chrissy thinks that Jamie likes me and even though Chrissy and I aren't together, she gets jealous. A) Because I hang out with Jamie a lot, B) Because I tell Chrissy all of Jamie and I's gay escapades and C) because they just don't like each other. It's all just too funny.

But about Chrissy. She goes to King with us. She's a Senior and I'm a Junior. She's bisexual, which I couldn't care any less about, I mean if she wants the penis then... gross but hey at least I don't have to touch it. Um, her parents think I'm some sweet innocent girl, so they love me. And they don't have a clue that I'm gay, they're close friends with my parents so yeah. I think they'd probably disown me but I hope I'm wrong because then I wouldn't get my inheritance.

Anyway Chrissy and I have sex all the time. We have conversations too but all talk and no play makes Ashley a dull girl. She's basically the best sex that I've ever had and I just cant let her go ha, but it's not love, trust. She's not into anything I am, you know like, my music and designing clothes. She's like an honor student and she's on the soccer team... with Kyla.

"But it's just so funny to listen to you guys snap back at each other. It should be on Pay-Per-View."

"She just gets me so worked up."

Sexual moment, I smirk, "Funny, that's what she said to me the other night."

She covers her ears, yes, that was my initial plan, "Ew. I can't even believe you just said that. I can't believe you do anything with her—no, I don't wanna believe."

Hey now, "And you think I like hearing about your sexcapades with the penises?"

"They're boys not penises, although some are bodies with penises attached if you catch my drift." I shudder,

"And you wonder why I'm gay."

"Actually, I don't." I can see her smile out the corner of my eye. "I know."

"And why is that?"

"Because you're waiting for me to switch teams."

I laugh, "You're so conceded but I love you."

"I know."

I shake my head then drive the rest of the way to my house which is like ten more minutes. Not that far, I guess.

I get into the house, change my clothes. Something simple, a pair of Kyla's Victoria's Secret jammies and a bra. It's not like boys ever come here, their not really allowed so Kyla just fondles them in the garage, just kidding. Kyla's not the slut in the family, I am.

Hmm, mom and dad aren't even home and neither is Kyla. Their probably on a family outing minus the embarrassment, me.

Jamie's wearing her booty shorts and a tank top, she already has jammies over here so it wasn't a hassle to find her anything. She practically lives here.

Jamie and I sit on the couch and watch a little bit of the television downstairs. The best TV in the house and probably in the world has to be the one downstairs in our living room. I don't know the inches on that thing but it's like going to a movie theater. And it makes it even better that my dad decided to hook it up with all the speakers and crap like that. Anyway, after we get bored of just television, I put in Pocahontas because it's my all time favorite.

Jamie's sitting on the right end of the couch and I'm lying my head in her lap, "Hey, did you know that Pocahontas was a real person?" Jamie asks

"Shh—it's the river part." I wait for my favorite part—well, one of them—to come on. "But the river's not steady at all!"

Jamie laughs, "I don't think you're steady. Now what were you saying?"

"Nice comeback. I was asking if you knew that Pocahontas is a real person."

"Really?" I get excited, "Where is she? Because she's super hot."

Jamie laughs and I can feel her body shaking from it. What an idiot. "Well, she's dead now. And apparently John Smith was like thirty-five and Pocahontas was like teenager when all this weird stuff happened. Pedophile, for sure."

"Ew, older and younger couples never—"

Stupid skank cuts me off, "Aw, so I guess that means you and Chrissy are no more."

I slap her leg lightly, "She's only a year older than me, shit face."

Jamie snaps, "Damn."

I roll my eyes and continue watching the movie. God, movies these days are nowhere near as fulfilling as they were in those days. The animation is just amazing.

I hear the door open at like 11:15 and it's probably the family, I don't bother to move, Jamie's lap is just too comfortable. "The fun has arrived." I hear Kyla's voice ring through my ears. Eh, who cares? I turn the TV to MTV and I guess Tila Tequila's on, sweet. Aw, Dani's so cute. I look away from the TV and over to Kyla who's standing next to it and she has her entourage with her, "What are y'all doing?" she asks raising her eyebrows.

I sit up and stretch, "Watching TV, you're supposed to be the genius in this family. I mean, if there's a TV in the general area that means someone's watching it." I smirk.

She rolls her eyes, "Shut up. What I was getting at was why are you in your bra—and what gave you the idea to wear my new jammies?" Oops, guess I'm caught.

"I'm in my bra because I felt like it and it's not like there are any guys coming over... ever so—"

Kyla interrupts me, "Excuse me, I bring home guys."

I raise my left eyebrow and look at all of her friends. "Hmm, looks like everyone in this house has a vagina. Unless you're counting that stupid fur ball." Ugh, I hate that dog. Kyla gets a dog and I get a fish... whoopee.

Kyla narrows her eyes at me, "Well, I don't see you bringing home any guys." she smiles.

And I just have to laugh, I mean how hilarious is that? "With good reason."

Kyla laughs along with Jamie and the rest of her entourage. "Anyways, have you met—"

I nod, "Spencer." Tonight must be my lucky night.

Spencer smiles and nods, "Hey, Ashley."


	4. Chapter 4

**::::::AN::::::::**

**Sorry for the delay, I've been experiencing some technical difficulties and whatnot. Oh and the fact that Xmas came, you know. Lol well, enjoy. Tell me what you think.**

Kyla looks from Spencer to me, "How do you know my sister?"

Spencer looks at Kyla, "We met at Starbucks today. I didn't know she was your sister."

"And why would you? I mean we don't even look like twins." I stand up.

"You guys are twins?" Spencer asks not seeing the resemblance. Finally, someone who doesn't believe it, just like me.

"Yeah," Kyla smiles bigger, "I'm the oldest."

"By, like, seven minutes." She always has to make that a point.

"Still older."

I roll my eyes, "Fine, I'm just better looking." I wink at Spencer, she blushes and looks away. Cute. "Well, how do you guys know each other? And how do you move so fast? You were just with bitch Madison."

"Remember when I use to go to that summer camp, like, every year?" Kyla asks.

"Yeah, do I ever." Every time Kyla went to summer camp, no one would ever be here with me so... I had orgies. Kidding, I just had a lot of fun with my girlfriend at the time.

Kyla rolls her eyes, "Anyways, Spencer was at, like, every single one of them and we became friends. And, like, two weeks ago she told me her family was moving here from Ohio so I told mom and dad and they helped them get the house next door." Ooh, Spencer's living next door. She is such girl next door material. "You know, because they're on the housing committee or whatever." I shake my head 'no' and Spencer snickers. Kyla looks at Spencer then at me, "Whatever forget this story, your an ass. Long story short, we met at camp, Spencer lives next door so you're gonna be seeing her a lot."

"Hopefully naked." yeah, I know I said that out loud.

Spencer blushes, "Ugh, don't mind her gayness, once you get pass all that she's okay." Kyla says with the flick of her wrist. I call it "the gay hand".

Spencer nods, "Okay." Hmm, she's not running out the door in fear so I guess she's okay with gay people. Now I wonder if she's okay with making out with me, but maybe I should take it slow. Eh, but I'm so impatient.

"Crap, I left my mascara at Donny V.'s." she went to a party, the party that I wanted to go to but no, I had to be the good girl and come home. I could've gotten laid tonight and other night, what am I even talking about, "I need to go back." Kyla looks at me then at her friends, "Who's coming with?"

Hey, look it's Mindy and Rachel. Wow, I guess I recognize them better when they aren't all together. I mean they all look the exact same. Blond hair, big purses, skinny jeans, well, skinny jeans are awesome. I gotta say I have the colors of the rainbow in skinny jeans, "We'll go." Mindy's answering for all of them.

"You, too, Spence?" Kyla asks.

Spencer looks at me, "We don't bite." I say pointing between me and Jamie.

Spencer smiles then looks back at Kyla, "I guess I'll stay here. It would be pointless for all of us to go."

Kyla nods her head slowly and looks at me the whole time._"Don't you dare."_

"_Creepy, Kyla."_

"_Seriously."_

"_Relax, go do whatever you need to do, Spencer will be fine." _I smirk at Kyla.

"I'm only gonna be gone for a little while, kay?" she says directing that more at me than at Spencer. What could I possibly do to Spencer? Well, I could think of a few things but they wouldn't hurt her.

"Have fun." I say sitting back down on the couch.

Kyla rolls her eyes then walks back out the door. Mindy and Rachel follow. Yeah, by the way, that was that freaky twin thing. We can read each other's minds, that's how I pass all the classes I have with Kyla. It's one of the only advantages of being a twin to one of the most popular, beautiful girls in school. Well, that and the fact that she has hot friends, example: Spencer.

Spencer just looks around the room and now at the shelves —oh god, she better not find the—"Aw, is this you and Kyla?"

I stand up and run over to Spencer then stand right in front of her, "So you're not supposed to see these, you know?"

Spencer tries to move me but I ain't budging, "But they're just so cute. It's kinda hard to believe--"

Jamie stands up and walks up behind Spencer, "That the girl in the picture and the girl standing before is the same girl, right?"

Spencer turns around to look at Jamie, I hope she forgets about these pictures. They're so embarrassing, "Hey, I'm Spencer, we haven't been properly introduced." Spencer gives Jamie a quick wave.

Jamie smiles, "And I'm Jamie, nice to meet you." And they just smile stupidly at each other. So this is what happens with two cute people get together; they blink at each other. Spencer turns around and looks at me, "Let her see the pictures."

"And what are you gonna do to me if I don't?" I say even though that was probably one of the wrongest things I could ever say to Jamie of all people. She knows everything about me meaning everything I hate.

Jamie narrows her eyes at me does _my_ smirk, bitch, "What do you think?"

Shit, she wouldn't, not in front of Spencer, that shit is way to embarrassing, "You wouldn't."

Jamie steps in front of Spencer and gets all up in my face and Spencer's just behind Jamie snickering, "Try me. You got five seconds to move." I just stand there.

Ugh, let me explain to you what could go down in five seconds. Jamie's fingers reach the sides of my stomach and strategically move around, causing me to laugh. Oh, but it's not an ordinary laugh... I laugh like Elmo. Yeah, y'all know who Elmo is, lovable character from Sesame Street. The red puppet. Of all the characters on TV... it had to be Elmo.

I sigh, I gotta give in, it's just to embarrassing, "Whatever." I walk away from the shelves of pictures and sit on the couch, making sure to pout. I sit Indian style on the furniture, my mom hates it when I do this but she's not here so what now?

I turn the channel to a movie channel and The Notebook's on. I'm not usually into chick flicks but this movie is just brilliant. There's no way to get around crying, it's just too amazing. And plus, I am a girl, you know?

After about a good six minutes of Jamie and Spencer giggling at all the pictures and talking about how cute I _was_, because apparently I'm hot now, they finally come over and sit down on the couch. Jamie sits next to me and just smiles. I turn my head slowly to look at her, I can take my precious time, "What?"

She gets this big 'Grinch' smile, "You're so cute!" and plants one on me... on the cheek. Then stands up, "I'm going to bed. See you later, Spence." she says then looks at me before walking away.

Spencer and I both look at the TV. Then ten minutes later it ends and we're forced to say _something_, "So how were those pictures? Had a good laugh?" I say looking at her.

She smiles, cute, "You and Kyla were so cute. Especially in that one picture with you and hair building a snowman." That's when we went to Aspen, "And the other one where you were at the beach... naked?" That was in Florida.

I nod,l "Yep, great." I say with sarcasm.

Spencer laughs, "But it was very entertaining."

"Why?" I ask looking directly into her eyes. Electric blue.

"Because you seem like such a confident, strong person, from the little that I know about you, and seeing the pictures of you as a little kid, all vulnerable and innocent, is just... fun." Spencer says it simply.

"And you're saying I don't look innocent?" I ask.

Spencer shakes her head, "That's not what I meant."

I nod, "It's okay, I don't look innocent."

Spencer smiles, "Neither does your girlfriend."

Ew, did I hear that right? Jamie as my girlfriend? Uh, no. That's probably why she's not flirting back, she thinks Jamie and I are—gross. I turn off the TV because some gay kid movie's coming on. I give my attention back to Spencer, "Okay, now what'd you say about Jamie?"

"She's your... girlfriend."

I shake my head super fast, to emphasize my point, "No. God, no, she's just my friend."

"Oh, but, you were with her at Starbucks and you were in your bra with her and that kiss and you guys just seem really close." Spencer says, hmm, she seems a bit interested and what Jamie and I are doing... or not doing.

"We're just friends. That kiss was on the cheek and we've been friends for like... seven years. Ever since I was ten, I know, that's way too long to know someone." We both laugh, "But she's not my girlfriend, I mean we act really gay sometimes but no. And plus I like being in my bra, they're really cute sometimes."

Spencer smiles, "So you're not gay?"

I chuckle, "Whoa, let's not jump to conclusions. I'm totally gay. I'm a lesbian."

"Oh." is all Spencer manages to get out of her cute little mouth. Ew, I sound like a total redneck. 'Look at that purdy little mouth on you.' Gross, I hate southern accents, they make me wanna run for the hills and hide under a rock or something.

"Are you okay with that?" I ask.

Spencer nods, "Yeah, yeah. I just... never met one before."

I laugh, "Oh, yeah you have. You probably just didn't know it."

**Love it? Hate it? Eh, don't care?**

**xoxo**


	5. Chapter 5

Spencer laughs, "So how long have you known?"

Hmm, I think she might be interested, "You mean for sure? Then that would be at fourteen."

"So when'd you first kiss a girl?"

"When I was twelve." I laugh because she makes a face like huh, "We were playing house and I was the husband and she was the wife so... we kissed."

"Do you remember the girl?" she asks.

Yeah, she's right upstairs, "Yeah, I still hang out with her, too."

"And y'all aren't together?"

I shake my head, "Nope, she's just my bestest friend in the whole wide world. Jamie."

"Oh... oh." Spencer should really get a new phrase.

I smirk, "Yeah, we kissed. And we pretty much vowed never to do it again two years later. But here I am. Anything else?"

"I'm sorry if you feel like I'm grilling you, I just-"

I cut her off, "No, please, ask all the questions you want. I don't have a life anymore."

"Do your parents know, you know, about you?" she's not very good with words, I'm gonna play with her a little bit.

"Do my parents know that... I can get enough of the panties at Victoria's Secret? No, they don't. They'd kill me if they knew what I was spending my money on."

She giggles, "Cute."

I shrug my shoulders, "What can I say? Anyway, no, they don't know about me and I hope to keep it that way. Meaning don't tell your parents, please."

Spencer shakes her head from left to right, "No, no, no I wouldn't do that."

"Okay, good. But there has been those awkward moments where they continuously ask me where my boyfriend is or they walk in on something." I say thinking about the billions of times at dinner they've asked about my boyfriend. And the times where they practically caught Chrissy and I...

"What do you mean _walk in on something_? What's _something_?" Spencer asks, she's supposed to be smart if she went to camp with Kyla.

"I mean," how do I explain this? "Oh, okay. So there was this one time, recently where my dad came home and caught me horizontal 'tangoing'," I use quotation fingers, "with Chrissy. We were drenched from jumping in the pool with our clothes on and we were in our underwear on the couch."

"What'd your dad say?" Spencer says smiling, totally interested.

I chuckle, "I convinced him that we were in our underwear because or clothes were soaked from jumping in the pool, which was the truth. And as far as us being on the couch... I said she lost her earring in the couch and we were looking for it."

Spencer laughs, "And your dad believed that?"

I nod and laugh, "Yeah, or he just doesn't wanna face reality."

Spencer laughs dies down, "So you do have a girlfriend?"

"Who?" who the hell did I mention to make her think I had a girl-

"You said you were on the couch with Chrissy."

"Uh-huh." What is she getting at? Don't tell me that she's one of those girls that has to be in a relationship to do anything.

"Well, I assumed that-"

I cut her of right there. I need to make this clear, "No. I don't have a girlfriend. And Chrissy was never my girlfriend..."

"Oh... oh." there she goes again with that Oh thing.

"I think you need to get a new catch phrase."

She smiles, "So have you ever been in a relationship?"

I roll my eyes, "With a girl or boy?"

"Have you ever been with a boy?" she asks.

I sigh, "Sadly enough, I have." I sigh, yet again.

"Really?"

"Well, I haven't always known I was gay or I wasn't ready to accept it."

She gets this confused look on her face, "I thought you said you knew you were gay when you were fourteen."

I nod, "Well, I _**knew**_ I liked girls but I wasn't ready to take on the full name of lesbian. I mean, no one looks forward to being a social outcast." Sad truth but it's still the truth, you know?

I think I can see her crunching all this information in her head. "Okay, so when was your last male relationship?"

I laugh, "You make it sound so scientific." She smiles so I guess I have to continue talking, "Uh, Aiden Dennison. I'm only saying him because he was the last guy I ever dated it and it was completely official."

"What happened?" she asks.

"My sophomore year I went out with him and I realized that there was no real attraction there. I was more interested in the girls that walked by during dinner than what he had to say." Spencer giggles so I continue, "I mean it's not like he was saying stupid stuff. He was saying something everyone wants to hear, and I felt kinda odd not really caring about what he was saying and that's when I _really_ knew."

Spencer turns her whole body towards me, sitting on her right leg and propping herself up with her arm to listen to me, "What kinda stuff?"

"We dated for nine months so I guess it was okay that he told me loved me and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me," Ugh, fucking gross, commitment scares me, "And I just wanted to bang-I mean_ talk_ to the the hostess or the waitress or something."

"Did you guys..." she trails off... can she not say sex?

"Have sex?" I spit it out for her, "Yeah, I didn't enjoy it. It was more like a performance than anything."

"Were you a virgin before him?" she asks quietly. This getting kinda personal but I don't really care, it's not a big deal.

"No. I had another boyfriend before him..." Someone needs to interrupt us. I don't wanna talk about Jimmy, I wish I could turn back the hands of time. He was such a jackass, can't believe I checked my v-card into that hotel. I must've been drunk twenty-four seven.

"What was his-" Spencer starts but I hear the door open.

I look over and I see Kyla. She can't say anything about us considering that we're on opposite sides of the couch. Kyla narrows her eyes at me, I get that look from all the cheer whores. Scary, "Hey, I'm back."

"Really, Ky? Couldn't really tell because you know I'm blind and all." I actually kinda am without my contacts or glasses but I'm wearing my contacts.

Kyla rolls her eyes as she walks up to the couch, "Shut up. So what'd you guys do while I was gone?"

I think about my answer, wisely, "We robbed a few banks, burned a few houses, oh and we had a threesome, right, Spen?" I say.

Spencer looks up at Kyla who's hovering over her. God, Kyla, don't get so defensive of your territory, "Yep. That's exactly what happened." Spencer looks away from Kyla quickly to me, "Did you call me Spen?"

I nod, "Yeah, I just think Spence is over used. So I'm gonna call you Spen, it'll be my thing, my pet name for you." I wink.

Spencer blushes, "Okay, that's great, I guess."

Kyla looks at the time on the TV, "Well, Spence, I think we should be getting to bed."

Spencer stands up then walks over next to Kyla, "Okay, it is kinda late." she says.

I get up then stand next to Kyla which makes it so I'm right across from Spencer, "It was fun talking, eh? Aside from the third degree and all." I say smiling.

She smiles and Kyla looks between the both of us, "Alright, um, you know which room's mine. You can borrow some pajamas if you need to. There should be some in the second draw on the right." Kyla says to Spencer.

Spencer looks to Kyla, "Okay," she turns to me, "Good night." Then she walks to the stairs. Kyla and I follow behind her but only to the stairs. I watch her go up the stairs and when she's out of my sight I look at Kyla with a stupid ass smirk.

She hits me on the arm, kinda hurt, "Ow, what?"

"No." is all she says.

"No to what?"

Kyla narrows her eyes at me, "You know what."

My eyes practically bug out of my head, "Sorry, I don't. No what?"

"Dont' mess with Spencer."

"Why?" She's fine and I think she might like me.

Kyla shakes her head, "I heard that, and I don't care if you think she's fine. I don't want you hurting her feelings."

"I'm not gonna hurt her." That's never my intention when I go out with someone, Jesus.

"Whatever, don't toy with her emotions."

"And what makes you think I don't like her, hmm?" she don't know me... even though she's my twin. Doesn't mean a thing.

"You don't have to like girls to screw them over." Ouch, Ky.

I roll my eyes, "It's not like I do it on purpose, jeez, Ky, you act like I'm a monster or something." She's never been this mean to me...

She sighs, she better be saying sorry, "I'm sorry," she whispers, "but... if anything happens between you and her and it doesn't work out the way either one of you want then every thing's gonna get all fucked up."

I whisper back to her, "Well, why do you automatically think that something is gonna go wrong? Why you gotta be so negative?"

"Because I know you!" she says raising her voice. She realizes that that was really loud so she whispers, "I know you, Ashley. Look—look at who you're with now, actually, you're not even with Chrissy now are you? I don't want you play with Spencer the way you play with Chrissy."

She's talking like I'm such a horrible jackass. I mean, I told Chrissy how it was before we started what we were starting. It's her fault if she starts to like me, okay, that was bitchy of me to say. I whisper back to her and this is getting ridiculous, "Chrissy knew what she was getting into with me, okay? You can ask her yourself, I specifically told her that I wasn't looking for a relationship. I'm not ready for one ever since..." Erin screwed me over. Kyla knows that. Erin basically ripped my heart out...

Kyla rolls her eyes, "Okay, fine but I don't want you messing around with Spencer. She's not gonna be one of your little skanky ass toys."

"Well, you know Spencer's a big girl, what if she wants to mess around with me? I'm not gonna say no to her... she's too hot." I raise my right eyebrow, "She can take care of herself, Kyla, you're not her watch dog."

Kyla rolls her eyes, "Whatever. Stay away from her." Kyla starts to stomp up the stairs.

I yell to her, "And if I don't? Are we gonna have a little rumble? You gonna take me down for the count, sis?"

Kyla turns around and yells down to me, "Yeah."

"Oh, and I'd like to see you try, baby," I blow her a kiss and she narrows her eyes at me then continues fe-fi-fo-fuming up the stairs. I hear her room door slam and I roll my eyes and make an irritated sound, "Ugh!"

I grab the remote and start turning off all the electronics that are on. Ugh, where the hell are my parents? I should let them do this... even if I did turn all this crap on, ugh, fuck Kyla.

I turn off all the lights except for the light over the kitchen stove. I walk over to the alarm system and arm it before walking to the bottom of the stairs. I look around the room to make sure every thing's okay; it is. On my way to lala land.


	6. Chapter 6

I get into my room and shut the door softly because Jamie's sleeping and I wouldn't wanna wake the ogre. Kidding, she'd kill me if she found out I called her ass an ogre.

I walk to the end of the bed and stare at sleeping beauty. She's all sprawled out all over the bed... bitch, she knew I was sleeping in here tonight. Asshole. I stare at her for at least a minute trying to figure out how I'm gonna lay, comfortably, in the bed with her before my phone starts ringing.

"_Because you are the brightest star and I'm in love with who you are, because you are the brightest star and I'm lost without your love..."_** Between The Trees** plays as my ring tone and I have to dash to get it before Jamie wakes u. By the way, that song isn't there for anyone, I just love the song. When I fall in love, which I probably won't because I don't think it could happen, that song's gonna be our song. "Hello?" I say without looking at the caller ID.

"Hey."

"Who's this?" I ask. Most people know the differences between voices but not me, I'm just made retarded that way, I guess.

"Chrissy." she says.

"Oh, hey what's up?" I ask.

She scoffs playfully, "What happened? You forgot me?"

I shake my head, I don't know why, I mean she can't see me but I'm one of those people that like to talk with their hands. In this case, with my head, "No, that's not it, I picked it up fast and didn't look at the caller ID."

"Why didn't you look at the caller ID?" she asks, "I could've been someone you didn't want to talk to."

I chuckle, "Well, Jamie's sleeping and I didn't wanna wake her up so I had to answer the phone quick or let it ring and get my ass kicked by her."

Chrissy makes a noise, like, an I-hate-you noise, "Hm."

I sit on my futon, I've never slept on this thing in my life. My mom just put it in here for decoration, "What's that noise for?"

"Hm? There was no noise." she says sweetly.

"Uh-huh."

"So, what are you doing?"she asks.

I yawn to add effect, "I was actually getting ready to lay down."

"I'm sorry, you sleeping with Jamie?" she asks. Gawd, get over this hate thing, there's so much more other stuff that could be hated, like, um... that sound that you hear when a TV comes on. It's like a ehhhhhh, you know?

"Depends on what you mean by sleeping, dear. So... what do you mean?" I ask because she can be a total bitch about Jamie sometimes and I just wanna end this conversation here and now.

She answers quick, "Nothing. Nothing at all. So what are you doing tomorrow? Got any time for me?"

She catches on quick, "Um, I have school and then... I don't know."

"Yeah, you know. You're supposed to be hanging out with me after school, sound good?" she asks, and I guess it's just one of those times where I can't say no to her.

I nod, "Okay. I'm not making any promises but that's what it looks like. Where do you wanna go?"

She squeals happily, "I don't know, how about... back to my house?"

I roll my eyes, is that all we ever do anymore, have sex? I decided to do this 'thing' with her because we had some pretty good conversations but if this is turning into just sex then... that'd be fine. Ha, thought I was gonna say something completely different, huh? Nah, if she doesn't wanna talk and she just wants to bang, who am I to say no? "And what are we gonna do at your place? Watch TV all day?"

She giggles, "No."

"Well, what?" I ask smirking. I'm gonna get laid tomorrow. Maybe I can picture Spencer's face on her body. I wouldn't do that, Chrissy is bangin' enough.

"We can... skinny dip," I laugh, "And do that thing you like to do." referring to sex.

"Ooh, you've caught my attention." I say smiling.

"Good, I hope to keep it like that." she says.

We continue to talk about what we could possibly do at her house for the next hour.. all sexual activities. I'm getting kinda tired and we've been talking for too long, it's like one something. I need beauty sleep, my body aches for the sweet darkness of my eyelids, ha, I'm so emo. "Hey, I think I'm gonna go to bed."

"Okay, I wish you would come to bed with me, though." she says... what does she mean, or how does she mean?

"How do you mean that?" I ask.

She laughs, "I mean it like I wish you could sleep here, with me, in your arms and wake up in the morning then go to school."

Oh, she meant it in a sweet way, "Yeah, me, too. I would love to feel your—"

"Ew, don't even." she says cutting me off.

"I wasn't even gonna say anything gross. I was gonna say I would love to feel your 100-count sheets, damn, chill out." I say smiling.

She laughs, "Clever."

"I know, but for real, I need to get some sleep," I yawn yet again, that's like the thirtieth time, "So I'll see you at school, hon."

"Okay, good night, I like you." she says.

"I like you, too." I say back, "Bye." then hang up my sidekick, then I plug it up to the charger.

That whole "I like you" thing is what we say instead of I love you. Our phone conversations used to end kind of awkward so I came up with saying that. I mean it's not a lie, like when you say I love you to someone. You know you like someone if you hang out with them. And I don't mean like as in "oh, I like you, marry me." I mean it as in, "I like you like a friend, like, we could go out to Starbucks" and it wouldn't mean a thing.

Anyway, I'm so beat from sitting in the same position for so long. I'm aching all over, jesus christ., how do I get even more tired from doing nothing?

I stand up and stretch, whoa, I'm cracking all over. Ooh, that's some good stuff. And Jamie's still all spread all over the bead like butter, ugh. I pick up a pillow slowly from behind her head, I hope I got one she didn't slob all over, that would just be amazing.

I take my phone, my pillow and my phone charger into the guest bedroom. "Not home but it's good enough." I say to myself while plugging my charger into the wall then I plug my phone up. I lay on the bed and I feel like I'm lying on a rock slab. Mom chose this bed to let guests sleep on? Is she trying to torture them? Poor people.

Whatever, it'll do for tonight. I fluff my pillow and get comfortable or try at least, it's kind hard when... the bed's hard.

I wonder what tomorrow's gonna be like. Do I see Spencer around often? I think I would remember seeing her though, I mean, when I saw her in Starbucks... if I wasn't sitting down she would have knocked me off my feet. That's stupid, I need to sleep. I close my eyes and sail into lala land...

_I'm kissing someone but who am I kissing? They're pretty good, kinda rough and violent but I like it. It adds spice—oh god no, it's Jamie. Why am I kissing her? "You look lost." she says when our lips part and she stares into my eyes._

_I try to speak; nothing comes out. I look around to get an idea of where I could possibly be, I think it's Kyla's room._

_Jamie grabs my chin and directs my eyes to her,"That's alright, I'll help you find your way." and she attacks my lips again so I just close my eyes and let it happen. But this time her kiss is different, I mean I like it but it's just a little bit more softer..._

_Our lips part again and I'm finally able to get some words out, "Nice." I say with my eyes still closed. She giggles and my eyes spring open because I've never heard Jamie giggle like this. Maybe it's because it's not Jamie, it's Chrissy._

_She speaks while smiling,"Thanks." _

"_Wait, wasn't I just kissing—"_

_Jamie cuts me off, "Me." and she gets all up in Chrissy's face._

"_Back off." Chrissy says._

_Jamie rolls her eyes, "I was here first, bitch face, go find your own hottie." I must be dreaming,two girls fighting over me, especially when the two girls are Chrissy and Jamie. Actually, the do fight over me... hmm, weird._

"_Guys," I say kinda soft and they don't hear me. I open my mouth to say it again but someone pulls me away from them. Damn, who now? My five year old crush?_

_This person's pulling me into the darkness, this can't be good. I feel like this tunnel goes on forever. After, I guess, hours, we get into the light and it's--_

"_Hey." she says smiling._

"_Spencer," a smile creeps onto my face, "What are you doing?" I ask confused but not really complaining._

_She smiles and giggles while squeezing my hands, "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm hanging out with my girlfriend, you big goof." and just like that I'm in the best lip lock of my life. It was like eating candy but... the candy was like a little piece of heaven. I never want this to end. It better not or I'm gonna be pretty p—_

"Ashley." someone says shaking me.

I don't dare move, "Mm..." I think that's a word but let me try something else, "Out." there's a good word.

"Um, it's time to get up for school." that's not Kyla's voice or Jamie's voice, what the hell?

I turn over to be woken up by an angel, it's kinda weird that she wakes up perfect. Should I be freaked out? I sit up and stretch, "Um, what?"

Spencer smiles, "Good morning." if I only I woke up to that every morning, I'd probably be more excited about school, "Kyla told me to wake you up, she's in the shower."

I nod, "That's fine." I throw my arms into the air to stretch again, "So do you always wake up perfect or is this just to impress me?" I ask, seems like a perfect time.

She scoffs, "Perfect? No, I don't think so. I still have to straighten my hair and—"

"Shh, take the compliment. You look great, kay?" I say cutting her off.

She smiles, "Okay, thank you."

I shake my head and put my arms down, "No problem, I'm not really a liar so, I had to say something."

She nods while she rubs the bottom of her shorts between her fingers. I think that's called a nervous habit. She shouldn't be nervous, I should I mean she's wearing these shorts that look like they should be in the panties section at Victoria's Secret. My palms should be dripping with sweat. "Well, I'm gonna go see if Kyla's out of the shower, yet. I think there's a straightener in there."


	7. Chapter 7

::::**A/N::::**

**So i'm gonna try to update more often, since y'all like it so much. Enjoy. And **XSamXStutterzX, **i'm deff. trying to post EVERYDAY. xoxo**

"Um, there's one in my bathroom, too. If you want you could use that one. Unless you think you might catch my gay by just walking in my room." I smirk.

She laughs, "No, not at all. Where is it in your bathroom?"

I stand up, "Um, follow me." I walk past her and she follows me into my room, Jamie's not in my bed so she's probably getting ready in the bathroom, I don't know why she didn't wake me up... bitch. "Thanks for waking me up." I say walking into my bathroom.

"Good morning, Spencer." Jamie says smiling and brushing her hair in my bathroom.

She smiles at herself in the mirror, "Good morning." Spencer says to her with a quick, cute smile. I love her teeth, they're like that one gum... uh, chichlets? Yeah or Mentos but square.

"You're phone's been ringing like crazy, Ash." Jamie says running her fingers through her hair, "Someone must really want you to sex them up."I look at Jamie, narrow my eyes then purse my lips together. Jamie looks at my face then turns back to the mirror to mess with her stupid hair, "Or not."

I look at Spencer, "They probably want homework or something." that's a lie, I never do my homework. If we don't have much classwork in that class then I'm not passing.

Spencer nods her head and smiles, she doesn't believe me, I'm sure. I probably come off as a sexaholic or something, "Right."

I look back to Jamie, "You seen my straightener?" I'm gonna end that conversation quick.

Jamie swings her head to look at me, "Um," she places her right hand on her hip, "I think it's... in your closet."

I open my mouth and wrinkle my forehead, "Why would it be in my closet?"

"Remember when we went to the beach on Saturday? Well, I used it at that beach house party and I guess I forgot to put it back." she says.

"So it's in our beach bag?"

She nods, "Yes ma'am."

I, again, walk past Spencer and over to my closet. I open my closet door and walk in to look around, "Whoa." she says.

I turn around to look at her. She's probably checking out my bangin' bod, "What?"

Her eyes wonder around my closet, "Your closet is so huge."

"Oh," I continue looking for the beach bag, "Yeah, I asked mom to make sure my room had a huge closet, I like clothes a lot."

And she's still awe struck, "I can see that," she laughs, "How often do you go shopping?"

I laugh, "Everyday." what can I say? Fashion is my weakness and so is music. For example, if I saw a shirt with music notes on it, I'd have to have it. Just as if I saw a CD that supported the fashion industry. I'm obsessive when it comes to stuff like that but I think I need a new obsession. I look at Spencer and smile.

"What are you smiling about?" she says confused looking.

I shake my head, "Nothing, just thinking." I continue looking for the bag. It should be over here—and I found it. "Here it is." I pull it out of the bag and I swear this cord goes on for ever and ever. I finally get to the end, "Here you are. You can use my bathroom if you want--"

"Hey, Ashley, have you seen Spencer?" Kyla comes in all dressed, hair's done, clothes are good. She looks at me then at Spencer then back at me, this has to stop, "Oh, Spence, you can use the bathroom now, I'm done. As you can see." she says moving her hands like she's unveiling herself.

I roll my eyes, "Um, alright."

Spencer looks at Kyla, "Is there a straightener in your bathroom, Kyla?"

"Um, no, I don't know where mine is, why?" Kyla asks fairly stupid... I mean hello the girl wants to straighten her hair, what other reason is there? My sister, the genius, everyone.

"Uh, maybe she wants to use it?" I say butting in and Kyla gives me the evil bitch glare, whatever. I look at Spencer, "Just go in my bathroom, it's cool."

"Nah, just go use my bathroom, I'm done and Ashley still has to get ready so, yeah." Kyla says, jesus, what a cock blocker... well not technically but you catch my drift. I'm trying to spit some game and BAM stomp on my parade.

I just roll my eyes and hold the straightener out to Spencer limply, "Thanks." she says taking it from me then walking out of my closet.

Kyla watches her walk out of my closet... ha funny. She watches her until she walks completely out of sight then she whips her head around to look at me. "Jesus, don't break your neck."

"What were you doing in here?"

I laugh, "I was raping her. What the hell do you think I was doing? I was getting my straightener for her."

"Why is it in your closet?"

I roll my eyes and sigh, "I'm sorry, I thought I was home and not in jail."

"Well, it would be for like the second time now wouldn't it?" Kyla asks knowing that answer. Okay, so this one time I got arrested for back talking a officer. He gave a speeding ticket and he felt me up or tried. Like, what the hell was I supposed to do about that? Let him have his way? Yeah, okay because I look like a fucking pushover, psh.

"You know what happened with that so don't even act like that." I say walking past her.

She grabs my arm and yanks me back in the closet, "We talked about this last night."

I take my arm back, "No, psycho, you talked, I listened but never agreed."

She sighs, oh, c'mon I'm not that big of a handful, "Whatever, do what you want. Just keep in mind that I will be watching." and she does that cheesy eye to eye thing. I mean who does that?

I smirk, "Okay, you're watching me, have fun. My life is fairly exciting."

"Ugh." she storms away, pretty funny.

Before walking out of my closet I pick out a black t-shirt and dark blue skinny jeans. I'm feeling kinda casual today, no one to impress. When I walk out the closet door, Jamie's sitting on the bed, "Your phone woke me up."

"My phone was with me last night.. in the guest room I'll have you know because some little witch took up the whole bed." I say definitely directing that statement at her.

"Well, your house phone woke me up."

I roll my eyes, "So?"

"Just saying. If I'm a bitch today, I'm blaming you. Your phone, your fault."

I scoff and roll my eyes again before stripping down to my underwear. Didn't take long considering I was only wearing pants, "Apparently every thing's my fault."

She nods, "That's the basic. But, hey, what were you and Kyla talking about in there? Sounded kinda heated and I heard y'all last night, downstairs, before I went to sleep."

Shit, if she heard us that means Spencer probably heard us if she wasn't sleeping. I sigh, "I'll tell you on the way to school, it's a a long story, I guess."

"Okay, well hurry up, Seth wants me to meet him in the courtyard."

I roll my eyes, "And we all know it's all about Seth." I skip over to my bathroom and close the door behind me. Scrub a dub dub.

"So she told you to stay away from Spencer?" Jamie asks like I didn't just explain the whole freaking story to her.

"Uh, yeah, that was the point in the story." I roll my eyes but lock them back on the road afterwards. Kyla and Spencer are in front of us, I'm sure with my monster truck I could smash her... but that's only in my head so yeah.

"Hm." is all she says while shrugging.

"Wh—what? What do you mean, hm?" and I copy her shrugging action.

She sneezes, "Damn. If I was Kyla I'd be kinda iffy, too."

"WHAT?" sounded like a dog whistle but that was a word.

"Spencer and Kyla are super close. It's only normal for her to keep her womanizing sister away from her."

Red light, I stop the car then look over to her, "Womanizing? I am not a womanizer. I haven't even been with that many girls. The way you make it sound, I'm a slut, an evil slut at that."

"No," she shakes her head, "That's not what I meant."

"What are you trying to say before you're walking to school."

"You wouldn't make me walk," she says sure of herself, "Just put yourself in Kyla's shoes. Okay, you went out with Erin, didn't go so well. Now you're with Chrissy but not really, don't know why, and you treat her like crap."

My mouth drops, "You don't even like her."

"Doesn't mean you don't treat her like shit."

"I do NOT treat her like shit."

She rolls her eyes, "That's the way it looks. Actually, it just looks like you're scared. You're scared to be in a relationship, again, because you think you might get screwed over. And maybe Spencer's the kinda girl, straight or gay, to be in a relationship and Kyla doesn't want you warping her fragile little mind with the mind games."

I scrunch up my face, "You know, all that actually makes a lot of sense."

"Of course it does, I'm smart when I wanna be." she smiles.

I sigh, "You know, I'm not trying to hurt anyone, I'm just--"

"Trying to protect yourself." Jamie finishes my sentence.

I nod, "Yeah."

Green light. Drive. "Well, maybe you need to rethink your game plan if you wanna get with Spencer. Kyla's her watchdog and as long as she sees you do what you're doing then... hells no."

"So are you telling me to make Chrissy my girlfriend? Or are you telling me to break up with her? I don't think that either one of those get me with Spencer..."

Her phone rings loudly, "I don't know what you need to do but whatever it is, you better figure it out." She answers, "Hello?"

What the hell? She just got me worried for no reason. She was basically no help, okay, she was. I need to figure out what I'm doing with Chrissy. I know I don't want her to be my girlfriend but I also know that I don't wanna give up what we have. But at the same time, what do I want with Spencer? Maybe I just wanna sleep with her... ugh, that's not it. I only talked to her for a little bit but there's so much more there, I actually wanna get to know her. Psh, she's probably not even gay, what in the hell am I worrying so much about? Damn it, Jamie, I blame you for putting these thoughts in my head and for Spencer being so damn attractive.


	8. Chapter 8

So first period's pretty lame. Blah, blah, physics. The aerodynamics of this plus the velocity of that gives you... something pointless. Yay, now am I done?

I look at the clock, I've been in here for 45 minutes. Ugh, I hate school, the only good thing about school are the B days and today is a A day. Oh, and lunch, luckily all my friends have my lunches. I wonder if Spencer has my lunch.

"Hey, you got a pencil I can borrow." says Abby. Abby's a friend... a hot friend. I don't know how I managed to become friends with her. This girl, has straight A's, she actually does her school work. And she has never gotten into any trouble with the law or the school officials. So how do I know her, you ask? Old folks home. She volunteers a lot at those places and she just so happened to be at the one I was forced to do community service at. Remember how I got arrested for not being a pushover? Well, that was my punishment, working with old people and watching this amazing girl. Hey, now, I don't like her or anything, I just think she's gorgeous and nice. I would never taint her mind.

I have a pencil in my hand, I offer it to her, "You can borrow anything of mine that you want." I say kind of seductively. Okay, so I lied. What's some harmless flirting if you know it's not going anywhere?

She smiles and blushes, god, I love doing that to people. And I love flirting with Abby because she does it all the time, cute. She takes the pencil from me slowly, "Thanks."

"No, thank you." I smile at her. She shakes her head, rolls her eyes and turns her attention back to the teacher. Now she's tuning me out, what a good girl.

I stare at the board blankly for the next ten minutes. I think some thing's crawling in my pants, what the hell—oh, it's my cell. I just got my cellphone back and I'm kinda not use to the vibrating thing. I broke my cell because I got angry one night and threw it against the wall. Hey, but in all fairness... I was really angry and apparently that justifies my decision. Anyway, my cell's vibrating. I got a text from Jamie or Chrissy, they probably want me to skip—nope, I'm wrong. And I'm glad I am.

From Spencer: _How are u?_

I smile huge and I'm sure anyway that's staring at me probably thinks I'm a total freak. I look away from my 'Kick to see who's watching me. Abby. I smile, "What?"

She shakes her head, "Nothing." and turns back to the board smiling.

I direct my attention back to my phone. I can't believe she sent me a text, I'm kinda really excited. Why am I so excited over a stupid text I mean she could just be bored. And if she was just bored she could texted Kyla or her other friends. Like, bitch face, Madison. But she texted me so she wants me. Okay, I'm jumping to conclusions. Anyways, I better text back. I say: _Being bored in physics, the most pointless class on the planet, u?_ That was innocent, no flirting for a change.

While my phone has my full attention I look through my pictures. That's what I do when I'm bored, delete pictures on my Sidekick. Jamie and me, Jamie, Jamie and me, Kyla, Chrissy, Chrissy, Jamie, Daniel and me, Micheal, Micheal and me, Jamie, Kyla, Chrissy—half naked picture of Erin. Okay, that was unexpected, I don't know how that got in there. I'm lying, I know exactly how that got there. When we were still together and in love and crap she sent me this. It's one of those scene kid things, where the girl writes their lovers' name on their body. In this one, she's covering her chest with her arms and there's my name, Ashley, written just under her belly button and right above her panties. I sigh, I wish things didn't happen the way they did... but whatever, she regrets it, I'm sure. Yeah, right, who am I kidding? She's probably way better off.

The vibration from my Sidekick brings me back to reality. Text from Spencer: _lol, I'm in spanish. hey, don't you have study hall next period?_

Dang, girl, already stalking me? Nice. How'd he even know that? I text her back: _Si, senorita, I have study hall next. Snore._ I look up at the board and turns out he'd done teaching for today. Wow, that's not like Mr. Hall at all, he usually likes to take up the whole class period. I look over to Abby, aw, she looks so innocent doing her work, "So is he done early?" I say interrupting her.

She looks at me then nods, "Yeah, isn't that weird?"

"Yeah, it is. Did you take any notes?" I ask being stupid. Of course she did.

"Yeah, unlike you 'miss I'm gonna text and smile stupidly'." she smirks.

I laugh, "Shut up, someone texted me who I didn't expect to text me."

"Someone you like?" she says nudging me.

I'm not gonna blush, that's something I just don't do... I'm lying again, man, what is up with me today? "Could be." I'm not saying yes and I'm not saying no... but we all know it's a yes.

"Do I know her?" Abby asks.

I shake my head as my phone vibrates, "Nah, probably not." let's so who wants my body, I bet it's Spence—no, it's Jamie. She says: _Not going to lunch, skipping with Seth._ Ugh, I cringe when I hear and see that name. I don't have a good feeling about him but what can I do? She already told me a million times about how she doesn't like Chrissy but I'm not gonna stop being with her so it's pointless of me to tell her not to fool around with the kid.

I roll my eyes and text her: _Fine... bitch._ I look back up to Abby, "I don't think you do. She's new."

"Oh," Abby's smile grows even bigger, "Breaking them in?"

I smile, "You know." then wink. She just shakes her head and redirects her attention back to her notes. I look at the clock, 5...4...3...2...1! The bell rang! I guess time sure does pass when you're talking to hot girls, well, girl but you catch my drift.

I gather all my crap up, Abby holds out her hand to hand me back my pencil. I shake my head, "Keep it, I know I'm not gonna use it today." she smiles and shrugs. Aw, I don't know why she's so cute to me... I could never bring her fully into my world, I'd kill her. Seriously, no lie.

I walk out into the hallway, Spencer never texted me back... playing with my emotions already. Well, fine, I don't care anyways. "Hey." a voice says to me, it's coming from the right side of me. It's gotta be Spencer.

I turn around smiling, "What are you, like, stalking me now?" and my smiles has fallen off the face of the planet, "Why are you talking to me?"

"Just saying hi." Erin says. Yes, Erin. The girl who ruined everyone else's chance to fall in love with me.

I nod, "Okay." is all I manage to get out of my lungs. Why are the walls suddenly closing in on me an why is my mouth so fucking dry? Um, I haven't really talked to her after she ended everything, I never really got to yell at her and go bitch nasty on her ass...

**My phone's ringing, who could it be? It is... my girlfriend. Man, I'm totally in love with her, no doubt. "Hey, baby." I say picking up my phone and smiling that stupid smile.**

"**Hi." she says... coldly.**

"**Um, what's up?" I ask. I should ask her if any thing's wrong--**

"**Look, we gotta talk." damn, those words, this can't be good.**

"**Alright, are you okay, ba--"**

**She cuts me off, "I don't wanna be with you anymore."**

**Um, ouch, I think something shattered... oh yeah, my heart, "What?"**

"**You're gay. I'm not. You're a... nobody and I'm a cheerleader. It's never gonna work." she says like these are the facts of life. I'm beneath her. Not superior to her.**

**I shake my head as I slowly slide down my wall to the floor, "You're kidding, right?"**

**She sighs, "No and I was never in love with you," she scoffs but it's more like a little laugh, "Me and Madison planned this just—just to mess with you."**

**I blink three times before a tear rolls down my right cheek, "Well, you're a good actress."**

"**I know." **

**What more can I even say? This—this is horrible. I purse my lips, "So I meant nothing to you?" I ask one last time.**

**It takes her quite some time to answer, "N—no."**

**I sigh, close my eyes and gulp hard, I really want this to work. I love her, honestly, "I—uh—I—" Laughter in her background throws me off, "Am I on speaker?" I say growing more angry than hurt.**

"**Yeah!" Madison's stupid ass voice rings through my ears. Her laughter and annoying voice, god, I just wanna kick her ass.**

**I nod and bite my bottom lip, "Fine. Fuck you, fuck this. Oh, and since our 'thing' was just some big joke," I use air quotes even though no one's watching me, "I guess it meant nothing when you went down on me, huh? Was that apart of your whole thing? Well, bravo, you actually did a pretty good job." I hang up my phone and toss it against the wall. Now she can't call me and apologize... fuck her.**

"Look, I wanna—" she started but Spencer came up, thank god.

"Hey!" she says happily and putting her hand on my arm.

I look at her and I found my smile in no time, "Hey."

Spencer smiles at me then notices there's someone standing next to me, "Hey, Erin." damn it, they know each other.

Erin fakes a smile, "Hey, Spencer." and Erin gives one of those quick waves. She must hate Spencer.

"You know Ashley?" Spencer asks still smiling but pointing at me.

Erin shakes her head, "N—"

"Nah, she ran into me and she was just saying sorry." Wouldn't want anyone thinking Erin actually liked me... the nobody, but then again she didn't like me or love me now did she?

Erin nods, "Yeah."

Spencer nods, too, "Oh, well, you should, she's kinda cool."

I scoff, "Kinda? Psh, girlfriend, I blow you out of the water with my coolness."

She laughs, "Well, hey, I think I'm gonna go to class." Erin says then walks away quickly.

I look at Spencer with an eyebrow raised, "Weird, girl."

"She's actually nice." Spencer says. I roll my eyes, if only she knew.

**Little does Spencer know huh? Erin nice? We'll see.**

**xoxo **


	9. Chapter 9

"Right," time to get off that topic, "So where you going"

"Oh!" she says then looks down and starts digging in her pockets. I haven't seen her since she left my closet... she looks fine. I really, really like her hair straightened. She looks up at me while pulling out a piece of paper, "I have study hall, too."

"Yeah, right," I say snatching the paper away from her. I'm secretly crossing my toes right now, "Oh, sweet, you do," I hand the paper back to her, "So, you wanna sit with me?" I ask.

She shrugs, "I guess, I can, you know, to make you look cool. I am a cool kid, you know?" she's funny, I'm liking her even more. She's coming out of her shell but I would love to get her out of those clothes.

I scoff, "I'd be making you look cool, baby." Wow, my mouth talks faster than my mind can think. Don't you dare call her baby again. The bell rings, "Let's go, cool kid, before I get another tardy."

She nods, "Yeah." then we walk down to Mr. William's class. He's a cool guy, he doesn't really care if you're late as long as you can make him laugh. I remember this one time I had to explain in front of the whole class I was late. I was like ten minutes late and I said, "Oh, well, I was just having a quickie." and he laughed and so did the whole class... I wasn't kidding.

So Spencer walks into the door first, I look at the clock, we're only like three minutes late, he wont care. "Whoa, whoa why are you late?" she says to Spencer then I walk in and he makes eye contact, "Well, Ms. Davies, why are you late this time?" I must be his favorite student. He took the time to learn my name, I mean he doesn't know anyone's name.

"Um," let me think long and hard about this. This could make or break his idea of Spencer Carlin, "I was actually showing this young lady around the school," I'm not done but he cuts me off.

"Mm, I think you're still gonna need to get a tardy."

I push my palms in his direction, "Hold on now, I'm not done yet. As I was saying," I clear my throat, "I was showing her around the school... and my body. Pretty good for a first timer." I smile at Spencer.

The class and Mr. Williams laugh, what a horny bastard but I love the guy. He's not even that old so it's okay, you know? He'd actually be cute if I was straighter but nope... curvy line. "Okay, take your seats."

Spencer doesn't sit down, yet, "You know she's kidding, right?" Spencer says to Mr. Williams.

He smiles and nods, "Sure she is. Is that why you're smiling and blushing."

"I—" Spencer begins but I cut her off as I walk to the very back.

"Spencer, it's okay, they don't care if we get our freak on." and I give a devious smirk.

She narrows her eyes at me as I take my seat in the far let corner of the room, "Dead." she says staring directly into my eyes. I just smile big at her as she sits down, "I can't believe you said that out loud." she says whispering.

I throw my feet up on the desk, "Oh, whatever. You and I both know that's what you wanna be doing instead of sitting in this nothing class," I tilt back a little in my chair, "Or better yet, who?" I wonder how she's gonna take that level of flirting. I'm using my best game on her.

She still doesn't look too happy, wait, wait—there's a smile and a giggle, "In your dreams."

I fake gasp, "How did you ever know?"

She giggles again, she is just too cute, "Kyla's gonna kill me if she ever hears this going around school." what? Kyla got to her already.

I take my feet off the desk and sit up straight, "What did she say to you?"

"That she didn't want me getting too close to you because you might taint my fragile little mind," Spencer says smiling, she better to be kidding.

There's a little bit of anger growing in my belly but hey, it's like whatever, "You're kidding, right?"

Spencer laughs, "Yeah, I am, but that's basically the gist of it. She told me that I really shouldn't take your flirting seriously because you're—" she stops and thinks. What the hell did Kyla say?

"I'm a dick?" I try to finish her sentence, she better not have said that.

Spencer shakes her head, "No, no, no. She said that you're just a big flirt."

Oh, well, I am but hey! She probably ruined my game, "Oh, well, psh, I'm not."

Spencer takes off her book bag then bends over to place it on the floor. She's bending over in her chair, I'm getting a good view of, um, her panties. Did you ever just wanna reach out in touch something? Like, say you're sitting on the school bus and there's some chick in front of you with like lime green hair, don't you just wanna pull it? I mean you know it's not real but touching it is just what pops into your head. Well, Spencer bending over in her chair with her underwear peeping out at me is kinda the same concept. Well, I don't wanna touch her 'cause she has this weird color panties on, she doesn't, but she's just so grr. Just—I wanna dive on her. What the hell is she doing to me?

I gulp as she comes back up, I make sure to look her in the eyes. I think she noticed that I was checking out her ass, "Yeah, okay." she says.

What were we talking about—oh, yeah. "You don't believe me?"

Spencer tilts her head to the side, "No, how many times have you made a comment about my body since I've known you?"

I smile, "I told you I can't like. Excuse me if I'm warm for you form."

Spencer smiles, "That's what Kyla was talking about, I guess."

I roll my eyes, "Well, do you always listen to my sister when she tells you not to do something?" I ask, curious at what she's gonna say. I mean, Spencer never exactly told me she was straight or gay or bi, whatever, something.

"No, who said I was gonna listen to her?" Spencer fires back at me.

"Oh," I raise my eyebrows, "Really?"

"Yep." she nods.

"So if I asked you to..." not gonna say anything too out there just yet, "Eat lunch with me. What would you say?"

"Well, it would depend on which lunch you had because I'm not gonna skip a class just to eat lunch with you."

I shrug and nod, "So what if you had my lunch today? You'd eat with me?"

"Maybe." she says smiling. Now who's the flirt?

I bite my bottom lip, "Do it, then, eat lunch with me today."

She shakes her head, "I actually can't, I have a meeting during lunch."

Ooh, she set me up only to knock me down. "Okay."

"I'm serious, I would but I'm trying for the cheer leading squad." Spencer says really sorry.

I nod, "It's really okay, Spen, maybe some other time."

"How about... I come over after school? I mean we do live right next to each other." Spencer says and jeez, she really must want to hang out with little old me.

"You don't have to, I mean I understand how important those hoorah hoorah's are." I'm definitely making fun of her, I honestly think cheer leading is a joke. Anyone with a body could do it but hey, if you got the body, why not show it off?

"It's fine and plus I wanna finish our conversation. I wanna talk about me since you talked all about you last time." Spencer smiles.

"We only talked about me because you find me super interesting."

She nods, "I do."

I cannot tell if that was her coming on to me or her being a sweet innocent southern girl, hmm, I don't even know if she's southern. I smile and open my mouth to speak but Mr. Williams calls my name, "Ashley Davies."

I look over to him, "Yeah?" I say.

He holds up a yellow piece of paper, "They want you in student services."

Huh? What did I do this time? I haven't skipped in like a week, I haven't gotten into any fights... I've actually been good, "Oh... kay." I say standing up. I look at Spencer, "I guess I'll see you after school?"

She nods, "Yeah, I'll text you."

I nod, "Kay, see ya." I walk to the front of the class, "See you next time, Mr. Williams, ily." Gawd, that phrase is so smart but yet so stupid. I mean it's cool on paper or online or in a text but when it comes out of a person's mouth... mm, not so good.

He laughs, "Alright, Davies."

I look to Spencer before walking out the door. Damn, she's not even looking at me while I leave, I guess she's not too much into me. She's looking at her phone, ugh, and I was so sure of myself. I walk out of the classroom and some ways down the hall then my phone vibrates. Gawd, who now? It's another text, luckily I have unlimited, from Spencer. I smile really, really big. Spencer says: _After school, you, me, Starbucks._

I text back: _Okay, I love a demanding woman :)._ Well, I do, I cannot tell a—oh gawd, there's a face on mine. Am I getting raped? No, it's Chrissy, attacking my mouth, okay, this I can deal with. I try to talk with her still attached to my face, "What -kiss- are you -kiss- doing?" I ask between kisses.

She finally gets off my lips, "I don't know how I'm gonna control myself when you get your lip pierced." did I mention that I'm a proud supporter of hot chicks with lip piercings? And I will soon be one of them.


	10. Chapter 10

"I don't know how you are either." I say as she laces her hands with mine, she actually wouldn't be a bad girlfriend, you know? Maybe I should just ask her out.

She bites my bottom lip kinda hard but it didn't hurt. Uh, I wonder if she's aware that we're in the middle of the hallway and anyone could see her being gay with me, "So what do you wanna do?" she asks dragging us down the hallway while she swings our intertwined hands.

I stop and take my hand back, "I actually have to go to the office."

She smirks, "Not really."

I send a smirk right back at her, no one does it like me, I could make anyone melt, "What'd you do, Chris?"

She bites her bottom lip, thank god it's not mine, I'm still feeling that one, "I might've taken a slip and forged a signature here and there."

"No," she smiles and giggles, "You didn't. You're too good of a good girl."

"Wanna bet?" She says still smiling. And that made her kinda hot, I grab onto her hips and pull her into me to kiss her. What a wonderful dance our tongues do. I go on for the next four seconds kissing her then stop, "Wanna go back to my place?" she asks.

I'm not looking into her eyes, those lips are what mesmerize, "Okay, the rest of my day's gonna be boring anyway."

"Your car or mine?" she asks.

I think about it. If we take my car someone would notice because I swear the people at this school always have an eye on me. But if we take her car... we're free as birds, "Yours." I say.

She doesn't even respond back. She just grabs my hand and drags me toward the parking lot.

Damn, dude, by the time we got in the house she was completely naked. Well, I kinda stripped her in the car but still, damn. We went at it for 2 hours and then some, it was just... brilliance. But I think that was only because I couldn't keep my mind off of Spencer. I know I told myself that I wouldn't fantasize about Spencer when I was getting down with Chrissy but I can't get my mind off of her.

Chrissy's laying on top of me with her head resting on my bosoms or lack thereof. I'm somewhat flat chested but I gotta little something up there. Her hair smells like cinnamon, inhale. Exhale. "Mm, I love your shampoo."

She looks up at me, "And I love you." Ugggh. What? Maybe I heard her wrong, I hope I did.

I smile uncomfortably but I'm sure she can't really tell, "Um, what?" I add a chuckle.

"I'm sorry, I know this wasn't supposed to be a relationship kinda thing but," she swallows the spit in her mouth. And I hear the clock ticking, "But, I love you."

Whoa, I just got a migraine, I think it's time to get back to school. "Um," cough, "I think I'm gonna be late for 4th period and, we should go." Ugh, she pulled that on me.

Her face goes from happy to sad in a split second, tops. She sits up with the cover covering her body, "Aren't you gonna say anything?" she asks.

I grab a sheet and wrap it around me. I stand up and walk over to my, now wrinkled, clothes, "What am I supposed to say?" I ask.

She stands up, sheet still in hand, "I don't know, say it back maybe."

I look at her, "Look, don't do this—I told you simple and clear what this was, what we were." I bend down to looking for my panties under this heap of clothes.

"I know you told me that but I get the feeling that you care about me more than you say. I mean, you wouldn't talk to me everyday and call me baby if you didn't mean anything by it." Now she's hovering over me.

I look up at her then stand up. Now we're face to face, "I do mean something by it but not what you think. I mean it affectionately but not like that. I like you a lot, Chriss--"

She cuts me off, "Okay, okay, it's fine. Let's go back to school." And she turns away from me.

I sigh, "Chrissy, I'm not trying to--"

"Hurt me? I know." Then she walks into her bathroom and slams the door. Why does everyone know what I'm gonna say before I even say it? How is that even possible? This is so messed up, no one understands what I want and when they do get it then... I'm a jackass or a bitch. Maybe I shouldn't let anyone into my world ever, again. I continue looking for my underwear, damn, where did she even toss them? Well, I don't need them, I'll get them later. I put on jeans, yes, I'm gonna wear jeans with no panties. It's actually not as uncomfortable as you would expect. It's liberating. Anyway, I put on my bra and then my shirt and right as it's sliding over my head Chrissy comes back into the room, "Ready?" she says with a smile.

I look at her and shoot her a crazy smile, "Yeah, you okay?"

She nods with that smile plastered on her face, "Yeah, let's go." Before I have a chance to respond, she's walking down the stairs. Okay, she walked away from me, I'll remember that.

"So, I'll see you later?" she asks.

I nod then stop. Shit, I'm hanging out with Spencer, "Uh, no. I forgot I had other plans maybe tomorrow?"

"Your plans are gonna run until tomorrow?" she asks standing in front of my locker with me. I don't know why, I'm not getting any of my books.

"I don't know." I answer. She's being kinda nosey for us to not even be together.

She shrugs, "Okay, I'll text you later. Or you text me," she looks away from me, "Which you probably won't."

"Um, okay?" did she think I couldn't hear her because I did.

"Nothing, bye." And she walks away from me, again. Ugh, girls are so confusing sometimes. I look at my watch, hey, I still got like 10 minutes until 4th period. And you know what that means... lunch!

I walk into the lunchroom, this is my lunch so I start walking to my table. Who sits at my table? Well, let's see Daniel and Micheal, the hottest set of twins on campus (says Jamie), Shelby, the new girl, and Jamie, the biffle. Oh, and Nicole, man, I was never able to turn her gay and it sucks because she has a tongue ring and... she could do wonders. But, damn, her and Micheal are definitely an item but he wouldn't say no if me and Nicole were to get into something. Anywho, Daniel had a thing for me and Jamie way back when but that was forever ago. Shelby's the new girl, cute, doesn't talk much, has like... 0 gauges. I'm not sure, I never asked her what they were.

"Hey, where were you 3rd period?" Nicole asks as I pull my chair out.

I sit next to Shelby and Nicole, "Out."

Micheal smiles, "Out doing what?"

I look at him and smile, "None of your business."

"It's kinda obvious that out young Ashley got some." Jamie says sitting Daniel says sitting in between me and Nicole, "I mean look at her face, it's so full of--"

"Fear." I say out loud, oops, I was just supposed to be thinking that.

They all turn their heads to the side, including Shelby, "What?" asks Nicole.

They know all about me and Chrissy, how I can't go out with her. They know about how big of a bitch Erin is. I tell them the whole story about how I met Spencer and then about Chrissy and the 'I love you' thing and Erin talking to me today, "What the hell was she even thinking?" I say taking a sip of Shelby's Gatorade.

Nicole scoffs, "You have too many girls in your life."

I shrug, "Maybe I don't have enough, hmm?" that's supposed to be directed at her. Kinda stupid but hey I think it's clever.

She rolls her eyes but smirks, "Shut up, but in all seriousness, what the hell _was_ Erin thinking?"

I shrug, "Hell if I know."

"Maybe you were, like, the best lay she ever had and she wants your body back." Micheal says smiling. Ugh, I don't even know what's up with guys and their lesbian fetish. They get so excited about girls making out but most girls don't get too hyped up when guys kiss guys. I guess that's a reason why I really don't like guys very much.

I smile at Micheal while laughing, "Probably, I am pretty good."

"Oh yeah, you were amazing last night." Shelby says starting a joke. She hasn't talked the whole time I've been here, I wonder what she's been doing.

"Nah-uh!" Micheal screeches at me, "Don't even joke like that, man."

Shelby smiles, "I'm not even kidding." She looks at me and winks.

We can milk this forever. I put my hand on her knee, "No, I don't think we are. I gave Shelby a taste of the good life." Shelby's been torn between girl and boy since the beginning of time. She has a crush on me when she first came to King then she had a crush on Daniel then Jamie then me... ugh, then Aiden then me again. Ew, Aiden, but at least she went back to me... I don't think she's still stuck on me now. I couldn't do anything with her, she doesn't seem like my type. You know, super straight and totally out of my league, sorry Shelby, you're too good for me.

Daniel looks over me to see my hand on Shelby's knee, "Y'all are shitting us."

Shelby shakes her head while staring deeply into my eyes, "No way," and she starts leaning in... is she trying to kiss me? I shrug, mentally, in my head, I'm weird, fuck you.

Anyway, I might as well have a little fun, I lean into her, "What are you doing?" Kyla says to me.

I close my eyes then sigh as Shelby pulls away from me. I open my eyes and turn my head to Kyla, "What are you doing?"

She raises her left eyebrow, "Watching you." She's either talking about Spencer or about the joke just now.

I roll my eyes, "Why are you in here? This isn't even your lunch." it's best to just change the subject.

"Skipping." she says. Yeah, right. I cock my head to the side, "I got let out early."

"There we go, that sounds like my little sister." I know she's older I just love pissing her off sometimes, I mean she's like my best friend but she's also my biggest enemy.

"I'm older than you." I roll my eyes and turn back to my friends. Daniel is looking her up and down, I narrow my eyes at him and I think Nicole sees it because she's making eye contact with me and laughing. Kyla touches my shoulder, "Can I talk to you for a second? Really quick." she asks.

I look at the the clock, bell's gonna ring in like four minutes. I stand up, "I'll talk to you guys later."

I turn away from the table but someone calls to me, "Hey, Ash, are you gonna take me to work?"

Shit, oh yeah. I'm the only one out of this whole group that actually drives, "Yeah, Nic, meet me in the courtyard after fourth." She nods and Kyla and I walk out of the lunchroom.

We walk until we're in front of my fourth period class, "What's up, Ky?"

"I'm just curious in knowing..." is she gonna drag this out forever? What the hell, hurry the fuck up. "How are you gonna bang Spencer when she's trying out for cheerleading?"

I look at her, confused, "What's that gotta do with anything?"

"Erin's on the cheerleading team, they're gonna talk, you know?"

I shake my head, "I've got nothing to worry about."

"And why's that?" Kyla asks.

I sigh, "Erin wouldn't dare mention anything about her being intimately involved with me. Keep in mind I'm the reason she almost got kicked off the team and, god, we wouldn't want that."

Kyla nods, "So you're not worried a tiny bit?"

"Should I? Is Spencer even interested in me? I mean in the tiniest notion?" I ask Kyla, I'm trying to figure out if I have to pull out the good game. Who am I kidding? All my game's good.Kyla narrows her eyes at me, "What's up with the look? You were fine when I told you I was into Erin, what's so different about this?" I'm trying not to compare Spencer and Erin in every way humanly possible but that's only one similarity, I shouldn't mention anything else or I might talk myself out of liking her. How can I even turn off liking this girl?

"That's classified information." Kyla says... and that was a dead giveaway, I'm wanted! I could skip through a meadow of daises.

I smile creeps across my face, "You already gave her away." I turn away from Kyla, she grabs my arm.

"Look, don't say anything. She's--"

I cant easily finish this sentence, "Been fighting with her sexuality?" I smile, "I could help her come to a final decision." I wink at her.

"Seriously." Kyla says sternly.

"Kyla," I sigh, "I'm not gonna hurt her, okay? Trust me this time." I look around, there's no one in the hall but I still feel the need to whisper, "I feel something different with her," I look away from my sister, "I feel like I just wanna always be with her or around her."

Kyla gasps.

I look her directly in the eye, "Look. I know it's weird, I only talked to her like twice but I don't know she's—she's got this flair about her. Like, I wanna know her." I sigh, kinda the same feeling I had when I first met Erin but the ones for Spencer are... bigger? That might cause a little problem with me. Ugh, I got those feelings all over again for her, why the fuck did she have to talk to me today? But it was kinda odd, those feelings kinda got overpowered by my excitement of seeing Spencer. Wait, wait, no, no, no, no. I don't do this. Ashley Davies doesn't go crazy over some girl, this is—this isn't me. I'm blowing this way out of proportion, it must be the medication I'm on, or the pheromones in the air or whatever.

* * *

**liked it? a handful of people said that Ashley sees girls as a piece of meat or something of the sort... maybe Spencer's the one to change all that, who knows. Well, hope you enjoyed this chapter, i had to end it kinda abruptly, sorry. xoxo**


	11. Chapter 11

Kyla smiles and shakes her head, "It's not."

"It's not what?" I ask.

"It's not the pheromones in the air, you actually like her, like..." she looks both ways in the hall way then back to me, "like her like a girlfriend." she whispers.

I playfully slap her face away from me, "Shut up, get outta my head. I hate it when you do that."

"Well, I love it." she smiles, "Okay, Spencer thinks you're cute. We talked about you this morning on the way to school. I told her you were a big flirt so she better not expect anything."

"What'd she say about me?"

Kyla smiles and I roll my eyes, "You're interesting and different. And weird but still cute. Psh, I don't know what she's talking about."

"Shut up, you robot."

She sticks a finger in my face, "You slut."

I shrug and smile cutely, "Well, thanks."

The bell rings, it always seems to ring when I'm in the middle of a conversation. Kinda weird, maybe it's like a sign or something… nah. "Okay, we'll since you missed third period I think you better atleast get to fourth on time."

I scratch my head, "How'd you know I didn't go?"

Kyla smirks, kinda innocence meets devil, if that's even possible, "Hello, I run this school, I have eyes everywhere."

I shrug and put my hand on my hip, "You walked past my class, right?"

Kyla nods, "Yeah, pretty much." Someone runs directly into Kyla, little freshman, "Um, ow." The girl drops all of her books.

She bends down to pick them up, "Sorry, sorry." Shee says talking to Kyla but never looking up at her.

Kyla looks down at the girl, "It's okay." Then she looks at me and mouths to me, "_Weird._"

I move my eyes from between Kyla and the book dropper "Help her." I say.

Kyla shakes her head, "Gotta get to class, see you at home, sis." And she walks away…

I narrow my eyes at her as she bounces away, she can be such a jerk sometimes I swear. I bend down to help the girl. I stack her books in between us, "Here, let me help you." She's got like a million things. What the hell? Who needs a protractor? And a stapler? And, oh m god, she has a 3 hole punch. Oh my gawd—wait, I think she's staring at me. I look over to this little freshman girl. She looks at me, "Th—thanks." and she takes the books out of my hand. She seems kinda nervous.

"Are you okay? Sorry about that, my sister's kind of an asshole. Kidding, she really had to go and do something." I'm lying, my sister's just an ass.

She shakes her head, "No, it's no big deal. It was all my fault, I mean I was the one moving she was the stationary object." she chuckles.

I smile and nod, "So you're a freshman?" I ask.

"Yeah, I'm still trying to get used to this high school thing, we've been in school for like a month and I'm still kinda out of it." she says, hey, that's how I was but I'm still not into the whole high school thing.

"I know what you mean. I've been here all four years and I'm still not used to the high school scene."

"So you're a senior?" she asks.

I nod, "Yeah, thank god, I probably would kill myself if I had four more years left." The freshman girl laughs, "So what's your name?" No, I'm not hitting on her, I would just like to know which freshman not to play a trick on when we do that hazing thing. I'm actually not too much into that but Michael and Daniel are pretty hardcore with it. Speaking of hardcore, I wonder if I could get Spencer to come to a show with me. Probably not.

"Oh sorry," she situates her books, I guess she's getting ready to shake my hand. I was right. She reaches her hand out to me, "Carrie. Carrie Covington."

I shake her hand, "Ashley Davies." Carrie, Carrie Covington. Kinda reminds me of something 18th century or James Bond like. But that could just be me, yet, again.

"Nice to meet--" the bell cuts her off. Well, that was only the minute bell so she has a minute to scarcely travel to class. "Shit." she says out loud.

My eyebrows shoot up, I never expected her for a potty mouth, "Wow."

"You didn't hear that." I pretend to zip my lips and she smiles, "But hey, I gotta get to class, I'm gonna be late." she says walking away from me.

I stand and watch her while she walks away, smiling, "Okay, have fun, Carrie." I put a lot of emphasis on her name. I don't know why, just to show I remembered it, I guess. I watch her as she leaves my sight. She's okay, that's saying a lot because the freshmen this year are just straight up skanky or jockstraps. I guess I found the one good one out of the bunch. Shit—class.

I love this class. Is it weird for me to like gym? I mean I love playing dodgeball... joke, I hate sports. Physical activities that aren't sex, just aren't good enough for me. I mean I better be sweating for a purpose other than trying to get a ball through a net or kicking a ball into a net. And what the hell is up with the nets? Does America secretly have a fetish with them or something?

Anyway...

I actually do love this class. I mean what who doesn't enjoy watching girls move around in their skimpy outfits to impress the jocks? It's like a mating thing. That's actually how Erin picked me up, she had the right bait. Well, I guess in her case, because she wanted a guy, she had the wrong bait. Either way, it's all bull—ow. Ball. My face. Who the fuck did that?

I turn my head only to see my vision of beauty, "Sorry, about that, Ash." Spencer says.

I grab the stupid volleyball and stand up to greet her, "It's fine. How—how do you have this class? I mean since when?"

"I don't," Spencer smiles, "Um, our practice was running late from 3rd period and we just decided not to go to 4th." I nod and she looks down at my legs. I neglected to mention that I have bait on the leash at the moment. I'm wearing my skimpy school shorts, well, they look more like a belt... or panties but they call them shorts. "Are you cold?" she asks looking back up to my face.

I shake my head, "No." I look down at her legs. Psh, I could ask her the same thing, I never knew shorts could get so short, "Shouldnt you be getting arrested, I mean that's definitely indecent exposure."

She laughs and playfully pushes my shoulder, ha, she touched me. Where's Kyla, I bet she's watching us like a hawk, "Shut up. I have to wear this, something about aerodynamics. Madison said."

I scoff, "Psh and we all know Madison's like a rocket scientist or something like that. She knows all about aerodynamics."

Spencer shakes her head, "Leave her alone, she's been really nice to me ever since I got here."

"Madison nice? Are there two of them here? Because I've only met the bitchy one that's the cheerleading captain." Yeah, right, Madison... nice. And I'm daddy's little angel. I better stop rolling my eyes before the fall out of my head.

Spencer smiles, "There must be. And Erin's really been nice to me." okay, freeze, "The girl you met in the hallway."

"Yeah, I remember." the girl I fell in love with? Yeah, I know her, no biggie.

"Well, she's been nice to me, too. I feel like I'm apart of the family already." she says and my throat closes up so I don't think I can talk at the moment. I think the mention of that name makes me wanna pass out or die or something along those lines. I think Spencer can see it in my eyes because she places her hand on my shoulder, "Are you o--"

"Spencer! Could you get the ball?" Erin yells, I know it's Erin without even looking at her.

I sigh, "Better get back to volleyball. Wouldn't want the girls to get their panties in a bunch or anything."

Spencer gives me a sorta sad smile, "They're gonna bitch me out."

"Go." I say smiling and placing the ball in her hand, "Before they think you're gay with me, I am the gayest girl at school, you know?" I joke but I probably am.

Spencer smiles with the ball in hand and walks backward, "That wouldn't be so bad, you know?" and she turns around and runs back to the girls.

I did not just dream that, no way. No way in hell. She said that, right? Ugh, maybe it's all in my head, maybe I've finally gone mad. I've been waiting for this day ever since... I was basically born. Funny me. I take my spot back on the bleachers, I don't think Coach Smith cares if we do work or not. He just focuses on the key players on his stupid brute sports, ie: Aiden Dennison. Star basketball player, gotta love him. I loved him or I should've... love em and leave em, that's my motto or it should be.

Ugh, all this thinking makes me thirsty. I stand up and start walking to the water fountain, Spencer's close to it, but so is Erin and stupid Madison.

I watch Spencer as I walk to the fountain, I can't believe I haven't noticed her before. I mean am I completely oblivious to the world around—Oof. I just got knocked on my ass by a huge locomotive. I look up at the train... or person.

"I'm sorry." he reaches out his hand.

I slap it away and stand up, "Sure, tell that to my ass." I brush off my ass.

He laughs, "It'd be my pleasure."

I roll my eyes and look up to find it's the ex, Aiden. I guess when I think about people the pop up huh? Okay. Jessica Alba. Jennifer Anniston. Kat Von D. "Whatever, it's fine."

"I really am sorry. Is your ass okay? Here let me check." and he has the audacity to reach behind me.


	12. Chapter 12

**I'm updating, uhh it's like 8 days later but atleast I did it right? lol**

**Aiden, Aiden, Aiden, when will he ever learn that Ashley isn't warm for his form anymore? He'll never get the hint. xoxo**

Luckily I shove him away before he gets to my ass, "Get away from me." I should've just kicked him in the balls. Should do a BME Pain Olympics reenactment. [[Sick film, by the way, do not watch, especially the guys. I hate boys.

"Oh, I bet if I was a girl you'd like it, huh?" he asks.

I smile, "Yeah, I would. You're an insensitive jockstrap with a penis so I guess that means you're out."

I can tell that hit home because I can see that little vein in his forehead pulsate. Funny. "What's going on here? Get back to practice Dennison."

I smirk creeps across my face, take that jock brain, "Yeah, go throw around that ball of air. Not your head, the other object."

Coach whips his head around to shoot me a death glance, "And what are you doing, Davies? Go play volleyball."

"Um, you see coach, volleyball's not really my thing. Sorry." Maybe he'll let me go sit down, maybe he'll actually be nice to me today.

Coach doesn't flinch, just stares, "Oh, really? Well, maybe you should do 100 push-ups, I mean maybe that's more your thing."

I sigh, "No. I, uh, guess I can make volleyball my thing."

He nods and smiles, "Good, get going."

Ugh, I'd tell her about herself but damn my weak heart.

Aiden and I walk away from each other. He goes to finish up basketball and I walk over to the side of the court where they're playing volleyball. I stand there… just staring. Not really waiting for anyone to come and get me to play with them, just to stand there and not be bothered. Well, I'm on the court and in the vicinity of the actually volleyball so doesn't that count as playing?

Ow, damn it. Ball hit my face, again. Did that seriously happen again? Is there a fucking target on my forehead and I just didn't know it? Ugh, whoever hit me with the ball better have a good fucking reason for it. "What's your problem?" the girl says bending down to pick up the ball. When she stands up straight, I can see it's Madison so I give an eye roll, "Why are you on the court?"

"Coach wants me to join in the festivities." what's business is it of hers anyway? Don't jump on my case right now, Madison, or you are gonna get the ass whupping of your life.

Madison gives me an ick face and looks me up and down like I'm Oscar the grouch and I just escaped from my trashcan of a home. "Well, I don't want you on my team, you might try to grab my ass or something." I bet you can guess that Madison always has her minions near her so she has someone to laugh at her hilarious jokes. And by hilarious jokes I mean not hilarious, just in case there was some confusion there.

I roll my eyes, "Yeah, okay, Madison, because you're always on my mind." I scoff, "In your dreams."

"In your dreams, you're the gay one here. And I don't think you could even handle me." she says and she's just talking out of her ass now. I can handle anything and everything.

"What are you even talking about?"

She comes close to me. All up in my ear, actually and whispers, "Well, you couldn't even handle Aiden. There's no way in hell you could even step on my court."

And that just sends my anger level through the roof. What the hell? Ugh. I push her away from me, "Mind your business you fucking slut."

She smiles sinisterly, "Teach me, I already learned how to be a slut from the best."

"Says the girl who supposedly doesn't believe in premarital but seems so _popular_ with the football team, basketball team, soccer team—should I go on?" and I send that sinister smirk right back at her, "I'm sure it's not because of your lovely personality. But maybe it's because of those little pills in your purse."

That set her off because she starts charging into me. Be aggressive, B-E aggressive.

And she would've made it to my face if Erin hadn't stepped in and stopped her. "Madison, stop."

Madison does stop but gives Erin a confused look. Like, 'what are you doing? Are you really gonna throw it all away _again _for _her_?'

Erin whispers to Madison, "If you hit her, you'll get a referral and then you wont be able to go to prom. Get it?" Erin asks.

Madison looks from Erin to me then rolls her eyes.

That's right, bitch, back down. We all know that life wouldn't be life without going to the prom.

Coach comes over yet again, "What's going on here, Madison?" he asks.

I bet she's gonna lie on me, "Nothing, Coach." hmm, that's different. I guess she's not gonna-- "Except Davies tried to kill me. She's kind of a sore loser."

I narrow my eyes at her, how dare I think Madison would be a great person for a change? Especially for me, "I did not! She's ly—"

Coach cuts me off with a sigh, "Erin could you take her to the locker room."

Erin nods.

I roll my eyes and scoff, "I don't need a fu--"

"Watch it, Davies." Coach warns me.

I look at Madison, she's smiling. I look at Erin, she looks indifferent. I look at Coach, he looks angry. And then I look at Spencer, she's smiling but it's a sad smile. I guess she feels sorry for me. How do I know? Well, she mouthed sorry to me. I gave her a quick half smile back before walking to the locker room. I feel like a little kid.

I sit down on the bench in front of my locker. Maybe I should've stayed in bed with Chrissy. Maybe I should've just lied and said I love you to Chrissy. Maybe I should've stayed home today. I put my head in my hands and sigh. There's so little going on but yet I'm so stressed out. I really did mess up with Chrissy.

I feel someone hovering over me so I look up to find Erin looking down on me. Wow, looking down on me. That's what she does best, I guess.

"Is there something you wanted?" I ask looking down at my feet.

"I kinda just wanted to talk to you." she says.

I shrug.

"Does that mean you want to talk?" she asks kinda bright and happy.

I look up at her, "It means you can talk and I'll try my best to listen."

She nods, "Can I sit next to you?"

I laugh a little while looking up at her, "What am I gonna say? No? Go ahead. Sit. It's a free world."

She sits. Seems like she waits an eternity before she actually speaks, "I wanna talk about us."

I gulp.

**Aw, shucks, is Erin seriously back in the picture? Nooo, that would mean no Spashley and more Ashin or Erley... ew, both odd looking names. It just shouldn't be, right? Lol So what you guys thinkin Erin has to say? Maybe she just wants to borrow a t-shirt or something to impress a guy...**

**xoxo**


	13. Chapter 13

**So I'm assuming everyone liked the last chapter. I didn't get any horrible feedback so that's a good sign, but I only assume. But assuming makes an ass out of me and you so I'd better not. But this chapter should be up to par, I worked vigorously on it. Hope you do enjoy. xoxo**

"I just wanted to apologize for the way everything happened. I mean, I've just been really wanting you to know how I really felt."

"I know how you felt. I was a nobody, you were something. It wouldn't have worked out." Her words not mine. I believed it could've worked out but that was back then.

She shakes her head, "No, no. That's not how I felt. That's what Madison told me to say."

I look at her, "Because you guys were in this together, right? Wanted to break me down completely."

She shakes her head this time then sighs, "No—well, yes. But listen."

I look away from her but keep my ears open.

"I had a choice to make. Madison would've kicked me off the cheerleading team if I didn't do--"

I stand up as I cut her off, "Oh my god and that would've been the end of the world, huh? Not everything revolves around high school cheerleading. You know that right?" I just couldn't stand to listen to her tell me how much it would suck to not be lusted after by young teenage boys.

She stands up, too, "That's one of the things I hated about you. You didn't see how much cheerleading meant to me."

"So you decided to crush my undeserving heart? Okay, I guess fair is fair." The hell it is.

"That's not even what it was." she says to me, her voice sounding a little bit louder than normal.

"Then what was it? Please, explain to me why you were such a horrible bitch to me. After telling me a million, gazillion times that you loved me. Please."

She sighs, I guess to regain her composure, "Madison said--"

I turn away from her, "There we go again with 'Madison said'. I am so tired of listening to what Madison says. What about you, huh? Do you ever speak for yourself?"

"You're cutting me off again!" she yells at me, "Just let me finish."

I stand there.

"And at least look at me." she says sadly.

I turn around and I don't look very amused. I nod in her direction to let her know she can continue.

"She told me that she would kick me off and tell--"

"Ashley, you dropped your bracelet out there." Spencer's voice echoes throughout the locker room.

I sigh, "I guess I'll never hear your story, huh?" I say to Erin. Spencer turns the corner and walks up behind me.

I turn around to look at her. She has my black bracelet that reads 'lovemusic'. She looks a bit confused, "I guess it came off when you—when Madison pushed you."

I take the bracelet from her, politely, "Thanks, I never would've realized it."

Erin clears her throat, "Okay, well, I need to go back out there and help the girls." Erin says and I'm pretty sure she's putting on this cute little Barbie® smile for Spencer. "See you later, Spencer." Erin says before walking away. I hear her footsteps then the locker room door open and close. I don't know why I couldn't hear it when Spencer came in.

Spencer smiles but it's not her usual 'I'm cute' smile. It's more of a 'I know what's going on' smile. "What was that all about?"

She couldn't have possibly heard anything we were talking about… well I hope not. "What are you talking about?" I ask.

"You and Madison." Spencer says.

I sigh. I really didn't want to ruin what we have, whatever that is, by telling her that story. She might think I'm crazy or something.

"Whatever, Spen, she got in my face." I open my locker and pull out my jeans and t-shirt that I had on before I had to put on this skank outfit. My phone vibrates in my jean pocket, it's a text I'm sure. I pull my phone out a little to see if it's of any importance. It says Chrissy, I'll get back to her later.

"Or maybe it was the other way around." Spencer says.

I scoff, "Or maybe not."

There's silence.

I look at her, "You might wanna get back to your squad before they freak." I focus my attention on the clothes in my hand. Not really, I just look like it. Trying not to be so gay and stare at her.

"What if I don't want to?" Spencer asks sounding kinda childish.

I look up at her, "Then you won't get to cheer with the hottest idiots at our school." I say smiling.

She doesn't crack a smile, "Why do you talk about them that way?"

I roll my eyes, "Look, you just got here. I've been with them my whole school life, their bitches to me but that's just me. But I'm thinking over half the school feel the same way about them that I do."

Spencer sighs, "Well, what if I was on the team?"

I look at her and blink, "Well, it'd be nice knowing you."

"You would stop bring my friend if I became a cheerleader?"

I shake my head, "No, if you become a cheerleader, you'd stop being my friend."

Spencer shakes her head, "No, I wouldn't. That'd be stupid."

I turn away from her, "Well, it's happened to me before."

"With who?"

I don't say anything. I just take off my gym shirt.

"Well, whoever it was, they were stupid." she says.

"So you wouldn't do that to me?" I ask, kinda shocked and I don't get shocked all that easily.

She shakes her head, "Nope. Not even for all the body to gravel at my feet."

I laugh, cute, "Well, then, you're alright, Spencer Carlin." I say.

She smiles and she just stares at me. But I'm not sure because I didn't look at her but I can see her looking at me out of my peripheral vision.

"Spencer, pyramid!" someone yells into the locker room.

I turn to look at her, "Looks like your team needs you."

She shrugs, "They can wait a second while I talk to my friend."

Wow, that's sweet of her. To put her reputation on the line to talk to little ole me. "Well, I'm fine, go throw some twig-girl up in the air."

She rolls her eyes, "Okay." then she starts to walk away.

My eyes go down to her ass. What can I say?

She turns around and looks at me. I get my eyes up to her face as quick as I can, "Um, I'll see you after practice, okay?" she says.

That's right, we have plans. The ones I blew Chrissy off for. I nod, "Yeah, yeah. Just stop by my house afterwards. Or text me on my cell, I might be taking care of some business." I say the last part with more of an Italian accent. Kinda Mafia like.

She shakes her head while smiling, "Whatever. Okay. See you later." then she walks away and I keep my eyes away from her ass. That's probably the second time she's caught me looking at her trunk.

It's not that I have an obsession with asses, I just like the way she walks and it'd be kinda weird to just be staring at her legs now wouldn't it? And it takes longer to get from her legs to her face than her ass to her face. So I think I settled somewhere in between.

At least I'm not being _completely_ obvious and looking at her boobs.

The bell rings and it's like a herd of people are rampaging through the school. I know the drill by now, stay close to the wall and don't make eye contact, the underclassmen take that as "hit on me, I'm vulnerable."

I do just that and wait for everyone to clear out of the hallway. I don't know why everyone is always in such a rush to leave, what is so important that we have to stampede out the door? Unless it's a fire, I'm moving like a turtle.

I walk to A wing, upstairs, where my locker is. I have physics homework to do, ugh, and I guess I'm actually gonna do it this time. I walk past a few seniors, just acquaintance's, no one super important. I get to my locker, put in my combination, open it up and stare into it. I never realized how clean my locker was.

"You ready to go?" Nicole says popping up next to me.

I look at her, "Jesus, give an old lady a heart attack, why don't you?"

She laughs, "You're not even old."

"Hey, now, you never know. I could be one of those spies from the FBI that they sneak in here to watch for drugs and stuff."

She crosses her arms, "Well, are you?"

I stare at her intently for 5 seconds before cracking a smile, "Ha, no."

She uncrosses her arms, "Exactly."

I open my book bag and shove my Economics book in there. I'm probably not gonna do any of it but it makes me feel a little bit better knowing that I even thought about my homework.

"You're not even gonna do it." Nic says.

I look at her, smile, then look back to my locker. "Correct."

She giggles, "So have you talked to Chrissy ever since the whole I love you ordeal?"

I slam my locker closed then look at Nic, "Nope." I think about it, "Actually," I sling my book bag over my shoulders then pull my phone outta my pocket, "She texted me while I was in gym last period."

"What'd she say?" she asks.

"I dunno. I didn't check it, I was talking to Spencer." I flip open my sidekick and go to look at my texts.

"And what were you and Spencer talking about?" she asks.

"Nothing." I read the message out loud, "Can I meet you at your house after school?" I already told Chrissy we couldn't hang out.

"Jesus, keep your pants on, Chrissy." Nicole says.

"Let's walk." I say not waiting for a reply. I just start walking on.

"What are you gonna say?" Nicole says walking next to me.

I shrug, "I dunno, yet. Spencer and I have plans after school."

"Uh-oh, you go girl, already moving in on her." Nicole says nudging my arm as we walk down the stairs, "She's a nice girl."

"You know her?" I ask. I mean who knows, it is a small freakin' world.

"She's in my Anatomy class."

"You like her?"

"I don't know, I haven't really talked to her. But she's on the cheerleading squad so I don't know how I feel about that."

See, not only I had the cheerleading squad, it's a school wide epidemic. "She is nice. I talked to her in gym, she was practicing in there today. She totally hit on me a little bit."

Nicole laughs, "Did she really or is that what she did in your head?"

I push her lightly, "She totally did, okay? No lie. She said she didn't even care if everyone thought she was gay with me."

"Ash, you're so hot. No one cares as long as they get to be with you." Nicole says making fun of me. That was sarcasm.

"Like you?" I ask grabbing her hand.

She looks at me then winks, "Oh, you know it."

I roll my eyes then drop her hand. "You're so gay, I don't know why you just don't admit it."

She smiles but doesn't say another word. I've said that many, many times so she's probably used to it by now, "Okay, Ashley."

"Okay, Nic," my phone vibrates in my pocket. I take it out and look at my texts. It's from Erin. Ugh, why doesn't she just leave me alone. _I would really like to finish our conversation. Starbux sometime soon? 3 Erin._ It says. "Ugh."

"What's up?" Nicole asks.

"Hold on." I text her back. _Why? I heard what I needed to hear. Don't explain yourself to me. I'm not that important to you anymore and plus it won't do you any good. We're okay without each other, right? /3 Ashley._ Send. I put my phone back in my pocket, "So get this. Erin was practicing, too. Yes, Spencer and Erin are on the same squad and they know each other... blah. But anyways..." I sneeze, "Shit, anyways, I get in trouble with Coach because I got into it with Aiden then with, bitch face, Madison. He tells Erin to escort me to the locker room which is where she decides to tell me," I use air quotes, "THE REAL STORY." I scoff, "Sounded exactly the same."

"What's her story?" Nicole asks interested.

"It was basically the same thing from when we broke up. And plus she got mad at me because I talked about cheerleading. She was like 'that's one of the reasons why I hated you, you never treated my cheerleading important' or something like that."

"Well, you didn't." she says opening and holding one of the double doors for me.

What! "What?"

"You didn't. You hate cheerleading, you don't even think it's a real sport."

"It's not."

"Believe it or not, it is." I narrow my eyes at her, "But wait, wait, I'm not saying anything she did was right but you treated her cheerleading like a joke. You hate cheerleading."

I think about it and, yeah, I guess I did. I never went to any football games or anything involving the cheerleaders unless Kyla drug me there for some odd reason. I never went to any school function on my own. Another screw up on my side, that's probably the millionth one I've gotten this month.

"True." I hit Nicole on the arm, "Why you always gotta prove shit."

She shrugs, "It's what I do best."

I smile as my phone vibrates. I take it out then go to my texts. From Erin. _No, I'm not okay. I need to tell you somethings that u didn't get to hear before Spencer walked in. That wasn't all I had to say. Plz, just have a quick coffee with me. It won't hurt, I swear. 333 Erin._

I read the last texts between Erin and I, "What should I do?"

"Well, do you wanna hear the rest of the story?" She asks standing on the passenger's side of my car.

I walk around to the driver's side, "Well," I unlock the doors, open the doors then get in, "What if it's all just another big Madison-Erin bitch thing. What if they wanna play another joke on me?" I close my door.

Nicole slams the door after she gets in, "And what if it's not? What if she seriously wants to apologize?"

I stare at the steering wheel then sigh, "I don't know," I look away from the wheel to Nicole, "Put yourself in my shoes; what would you do?"

She brings her hand up to her face and starts to stroke her chin, "If I were a hot lesbian..." I smile then scoff, "I'd see what Erin had to say. I mean she couldn't hurt me any more than she already has."

I nod, "True. She already broke me heart, she can't go for round two unless I let her." I say to Nicole and she nods.

But I guess the question is: do I even wanna go for round two with Erin or round one with Spencer?

**Wow, so Erin's apologizing. Isn't that sort've great... in its own way? I mean it kinda shows that Erin isn't a heartless bitch but there's much more to the story than you think. Trust me. Then again that means Spashley might be on hold. Anyways, was it good, bad, horrible? Is Ashley seriously thinking about dropping Spencer and hopping back on that Erin train? xoxo**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hmm. Erin and Ashley, again? That could deff be a possibility but I am a fan of spashley but at the same time I can't be biased sooo… we'll see.**

-

I stop the car in front of the main mall entrance, "Out you go." I say putting vehicle in park.

She scoffs, "Trying to get rid of me so fast?"

I nod, "Yeah. I mean if I'm not getting laid then…"

"Ew," she hits my arm and I shift away from her, smiling, "You're so gross sometimes."

"Please, you know you have daydreams and wet dreams about the things we could to together." I am so clever.

She laughs, "Oh, you know it."

I smile, "Nah, but that's not it. I just don't want you to be late for work." I'm caring, what can I say?

She looks at me and smiles. I guess she realizes that we're friends and that I care for her. Or maybe she's thinking about taking me up on my offer.

Nah.

"I thin there's something else." She says.

I hope she doesn't guess it, "Like what?"

"You're thinking abut going to meet Erin at Starbucks." She says. Jesus, she's worse than Kyla, reading my mind and all.

"No—no. I—I wasn't even," She shoots me an 'I know you look' and I sigh, "Okay, I was thinking about it. I just wanna know that I'm hating her for all the right reasons. I mean if there's more to the story then I wanna hate her for everything."

She smirks, "You don't hate her."

"Yes, I do." I say.

She shakes her head, "No. No you don't. You don't really hate people. You don't even hate Madison."

I shrug. I don't really hate anybody. If Madison was in some kinda of trouble I'd most definitely help her out. "True."

"So you're gonna go meet her and see what she's got to say and then you're gonna come to school tomorrow and tell me the whole story." she says opening her door.

I smile, "Alright, but just don't tell anyone yet, okay? I don't want everyone to freak out."

"Unless there's something to freak out about." Nicole says rather odd like. What is she getting at?

"What do you--"

"Gotta go," she steps out of the car, "Gonna be late. Tel me how it goes." and she slams the door and walks off.

I watch her disappear into the mall before I drive off.

What was she implying? It couldn't possibly that I would ever go out with Erin again. No, she wouldn't even think that. She knows how much Erin hurt me. How much I wanted to ring her neck. How much I wish she would fall off the face of the earth.

How much I was in love with her.

Ugh.

I drive to a stoplight, it's red. I pull out my phone, flip it open go to my texts. I have four new ones. First one: _Are we hanging out after school? Jammyjam._ That's from Jamie. _No, we're not, I'm hanging out with Spencer for a little bit. Keep chillin with your new boy toy. Love, Ashes._

I check my other messages.

_So what do you say? Starbux at four??_ That one's from Erin. _Um, yeah, I guess. Which one? But I swear if this is another trick… so help you _gawd. Send. That was intimidating, or it was meant to be at least.

Number three, from Spencer. _This cheerleading routine is kicking my ass. Madison keeps telling me I suck. I could use you right now. Spen._ Huh? She could use me right now? How do I respond to that?

Let me check text number four, it'll give me time to think about what I'm gonna say to Spencer. I don't know why she leaves me so flustered some times. _Need your humor. Need you to make me laugh. ♥ Spen._

Okay, that clears stuff up. But you know... she must've been thinking about it too because she wouldn't have felt the need to tell me that she needed me for humor. She wouldn't have specified. Okay, I'm over analyzing, I gotta stop doing that with this girl, it's gonna be the death of me for sure. _I'm sorry. But I don't think me being there would help you in anyway. I'm thinking I'd probably kill Madison on sight. Lol, I'm sure you could do it, tho, you look pretty limber. _Send. I wasn't trying to flirt, it just comes natural.

The light finally turns green and off I go, on my way to Starbucks. I can't believe I'm doing this. I don't know why I'm doing this...

-

It's 3:55pm.

I park my car in front of the lovely cafe, did I mention that I'm in love with this place? I'm telling you, they sneak crack into their ingredients.

I get up the courage to get out of the car. I sigh.

I walk to the entrance. I sigh before opening the door. I open the door and walk in. I make eye contact with, Derek, he knows me, I'm a regular. I came here a lot with Erin, he knows our whole story. He's told me many times that he's rooting for Erin to get her head back on right. He thinks we're the cutest lesbian couple to ever walk this earth. Meaning we were better than Portia De Rossi and Ellen Degeneres.

He tilts his head to the side, like he's pointing me toward something or someone. I look in that direction and I see someone familiar. Long brown hair. Erin. I send Derek a nod, telling him thank you. Actions speak louder than words.

I walk over to Erin and sit down in the chair across from her, "Hey." she says watching me sit down.

"Hello." I say looking at her. I take one more look at my sidekick before I'm ready to have this serious talk with her. Another text from Spencer. I've been talking to her all the way over here. She kept my mind off of this. She was telling me about all these crazy positions she has to do. Cheerleaders don't just stick to the pyramid. Apparently, there's so much more. _Okay, I really have to get focused now. Madison's all on my ass. She's like a slave driver. Lol, I'll talk to you or text you after practice. Don't miss me too much ;) ♥ Spen. _

_Don't worry, I won't. Just don't miss me too much, I know you want me. Muah! _Send. Okay, that's done. Wait, how is Erin here, the co-captain, and Spencer, the newbie, is at practice? Why am I even asking? Erin's co-captain.

"So, are you ready?" she asks with an uncomfortable smile on her face.

I shrug, "More or--"

Her phone rings. "Hold on a second." she looks at it then back at me, "Sh, Madison."

I roll my eyes and look away then back at her.

"Oh, yeah, sorry. I really want to help you guys but—yeah, Madison I... Maddie, I met the hottest college guy, though. You'd be really proud of me." she smiles big. I guess my new name is hot college guy now. "But yeah, sorry. I'll tell you how it goes, okay?" she pauses and I guess she's listening to Madison yap, "Okay, love, bye." she hangs up then places the phone on the table.

I smirk, "So I guess that's my new name?"

"What?" she says lost.

"You met the hottest college guy? I guess I'm the hottest college guy. When did I turn into a man?" I chuckle.

Erin sighs, "I just didn't want her to know that--"

I cut her off, "I'm sure. So why are we here again?" seems like we're breaking up all over again. Why does she care so much what people think of her? There's always gonna be someone in this whole wild world that hates you. But they'll only be one that loves you for you... I thought that I was that person for her. Guess not.

"I wanted to tell you the whole story." she says trying to forget my last comment.

I lean back in my chair, "What are you gonna tell me that I don't already know?"

She sighs, "Do you want to get some coffee first?" stalling. That's one thing that Erin was good at. Anyone that really knows her knows that she only stalls when she's nervous.

I shake my head, "No and you don't have to stall. Get to the point."

She sighs, yet again, "Okay."

I wait.

"I broke up with you like that because Madison said she would kick me off the cheerleading team and—don't cut me off." she says just as I open my mouth. This is why she didn't finish what she was saying last time, I got angry and cut her off. I shut my mouth. "She said she would kick me off the team but I couldn't care less about that. I don't care about being popular." she gulps, I see her throat thingie go down then up again, "But she also said she would tell my parents."

Some people may think, "Oh, wow, your parents? Well you're gonna have to tell them some time." but that's nowhere near the case. When she was 10 and her brother was 14 he decided to tell their parents that he liked the male anatomy... a lot. Her parents didn't handle it well and sent him off to boot camp. He didn't call while he was there. He didn't write any letters, well, there was one addressed to Erin but her parents took it away before she could read it. And then there was another that just said that when he turns 18 he's done with this god forsaken, sick ass family. Or something along those lines but a lot worse.

So it's been like seven years since Erin's seen her brother because now she's 17 and her brother's 21. I understand why she decided to break up with me, she didn't want the same fate as her brother. But why did she have to wait half a year to tell me?

"Ashley?" she says.

I guess I tuned her out for a while.

I look up at her, "Yeah." I say.

"So do you get it now?" she asks.

"Yeah, I get that part but..." I shake my head, "Why'd you wait six months to tell me this? Why'd you wait so long? And why'd you do it so cruelly? I mean, you told me about your brother. Did you not think I would understand?"

"Madison was watching me. I couldn't just talk to you--"

"That's the thing. Why do you care so much about Madison? What kinda of secret does she hang over your head to make you cling to her like a sick puppy? I mean I was in love with you that's why I clung to you but what's your excuse for Madison? You in love with her?" I ask.

She shakes her head frantically, "God no! Look, I couldn't just walk up to you or anything. She was still hanging it over my head. And she made me break up with you like that. She told me to put you on speaker. She told me to say all those hurtful things to you..." she trails off.

I bite my bottom lip, "And you said them!" I raise my voice a little but no one's paying attention to us.

"Ashley, calm--"

I shake my head, "No, don't tell me to calm down right now. This is as calm as I'm gonna get." I sigh and she doesn't say word, "I hate the fact that Madison has this control over you. I hate the fact that you waited so long to say something to me. I hate the fact that you couldn't even tell your--"

"No, no, no. You don't get to say that part to me. Have you told your parents? No, I didn't think so." she just answered her own question... bitch.

"They're never home! You know how many times I've planned on telling them? But no they have more important things to do then talk to their screw up of a daughter. But if it was Kyla I'm sure they'd be there in a couple of blinks." I shake my head slowly and bite my bottom lip. I think I'm gonna bite it straight off, "They know, they just don't want to talk to me about it. They'd rather just not look at all the signs." I stand up.

"Ashley, are--"

I cut her off. I need to, "Look, I cant talk to you right now."

"Ash--"

"I said I cannot talk you right now." and with that said I walk away from the table and towards the front door. Derek looks at me with a wondering look on his face. I shake my head, "Nope, it's worse." I mouth to him.

He shrugs and mouths, "I'm sorry." to me. I walk out the door and get in my car. I sit in the car and don't crank the engine. I lean on the door and put my head in my hand.

**How was that? Was it everything you expected it to be? Lol**

**xoxo**


	15. Chapter 15

What am I supposed to do? I mean, I understand her whole parents complex but why wait so long? Ugh, I would've understood. I was the only one that ever understood. She should've known me better than that, she shouldn't have let Madison run all over her like that. Love conquers all, if it's real. I cant talk to her right now. I wonder if she still has those feelings for me...

I sigh, yet again, this is something to deal with. She just must know it's perfect timing... sarcasm by the way, did you catch that? I turn on my car, I'm going home. Gonna go be constructive and 'do my little hobby' as my parents call it. I call it my life: my music.

For the past hour I've been texting Jamie, letting her in on the whole Erin thing that happened at Starbucks. I told her what Erin's excuse was but she, too, wasn't buying it. But then again she doesn't have a clue about Erin's brother. So it makes me feel kinda bad in a way.

On another note, I've been playing stupid Mayday Parade songs as well as The Spill Canvas . Why does every single band I love have to sing about their mushy feelings for other people? Well, I know that answer: because everyone's been through a little bit of heartbreak.

As I begin to doze off to Spill Canvas' "Dutch Courage" my phone vibrates. I put it on vibrate because I needed a little bit if piece and quiet. I look at the name. It's Spencer. I pick it up quickly, "Hello?"

"Hey!" she says excited. Sounds like there's a commotion in the background.

"What's up?" I say hesitantly. Why would she be calling me around a group of people? Oh god, maybe it's Madison and Erin all over again.

"Practice ran late." she says and I look at the clock. It says 5:20.

"Oh, so that means you don't wanna hang out?" I ask. Maybe she's too tired. I learned from my past mistakes with asking Erin to hang out with me right after practice. She was always tired and bitchy.

"No, no, no," she laughs, "You can't get out of hanging out with me that easily. I was actually wondering if you wouldn't mind picking me up. But only if it's not the biggest inconvenience."

I shake my head, she can't see that, "No, it's not a big deal. I'll come get you."

"I would ask Kyla but I don't know where she is, I mean she's always so busy so..." she trails off.

"So you decided you'd ask me because I never do anything with my free time?"

She laughs, "Yes."

I smirk, "Okay, what time?"

"Well--" she stops talking in the middle of her sentence. I think someone's talking to her. I put my stereo on pause and listen close.

"You need a ride home?" a distant voice asks but I can hear them clearly.

"No, no. that's okay. I got someone." she says.

"Why are you smiling so big? Who is it? Oh my god, is it that cute guy you were talking to after practice?" the voice says loudly. I think it's Lindy. Ugh, Lindy, Mindy, Wendy, I don't know. One of the three.

Spencer laughs, "No, shut up. My friend, Ashley is coming."

I'm her friend. I'm getting too happy about that.

"Hopefully not Ashley Davies. That girl is the biggest handful. You know she's gay, right? She might try to stick her hand down your--"

"Hey, Ashley can I call you back?" she asks, cutting the girl off so I can't hear her. Good thing because I'd probably wind up kicking her ass if I knew who she was.

"Uh, yeah. Do you still want me to come?" I ask. I figure after everyone on the squad has had a chance to talk smack to Spencer about me she'll probably change her mind about me picking her up. Hell, maybe even about me just her friend.

"Yes. Yes, I want you to come pick me up and then we're gonna hang out just like I said we would. And I would like for you to leave within the next five minutes, if you could." Spencer says. I think she's saying all this unnecessary information in front of everyone so she can show them that she doesn't care. I hope that's what she's doing because that would be just make Spencer even more awesome.

"Okay. See you then." I say smiling.

"Bye." she says then hangs up.

I stand up and look at myself in my full body mirror. When I got home I decided I need to be in my relax clothes so I put on my black and baby blue Between The Trees shirt and blue Soffes. Should I change? Nah, it's not like I'm getting out of the car or going a date.

I grab my phone and my car keys then head downstairs, to my car. My mom's sitting at the dinning table. She's not dinning. She wasn't here when I got home. "Hey, Ashley." she says stopping me at the front door.

I turn to look at her, "Hey, mom." Mom has stacks and stacks of paper surrounding her. She works herself to the bone, I guess that's why I admire her so much.

"Where are you headed off to?" she asks looking at me through her thick framed glasses.

"I'm gonna go pick up a friend from school."

Mom straightens up, "Who?"

"Uh, Spencer. Spencer Carlin from next door. Kyla and her--"

"Went to camp together." my mom smiles, "You're friends with her, too?"

I shrug, "I guess you can say that. We're getting there." and hopefully we'll be something more, "She called me for a ride, she didn't want to ask Kyla because she's always so busy after school."

My mom nods, "She is."

Silence.

I look at the clock above my mom's head. Spen told me to leave within five minutes, I have 3 minutes to leave before my window closes.

Still silence.

"Um, so looks like you're swamped. So I'll leave you to it." I turn away from her and place my hand on the doorknob.

"Ashley." my mom says. I roll my eyes, sigh, then turn back around to look at her.

"Yes?" I say.

"Do you have time, some time this week, to have a little time with your mom?" she says this with a smile. I don't sense too much happiness in her smile or voice. I hope she doesn't feel obligated to hang out with me just because we're related.

"Um, yeah, mom. I can do that." I smile.

"Okay, Ashley, thank you." she says and now I see the happiness in her smile. Maybe she thought I was gonna blow her off. My parents are so weird. Ever since my dad got a job at that new hospital\, my parents have been extra broken. I never see them talk, my dad sleeps on the couch and my mom sleeps in their bedroom. I just chalk it up to them being married. Marriage is just blah, I mean two out of three marriages fail. Sad thought, they should just end getting married it all together. But at the same time the people that are the one out of three, they must be completely heels over head.

"Well, I better go get Spencer before it gets to late." I open the door and walk out without waiting for a response from mother. It's not that I hate my mom or anything, I don't. It's the exact opposite actually. I just feel kinda uncomfortable around her sometimes. I feel like she knows about me and just decides not to say anything about it.

I get in the car, start it up and back up before my phone starts ringing. It's Chrissy. That's right, I don't think I ever texted her back. "Hey, Chris." I say.

"Hey, what are you doing?" she asks.

I could lie but then again why would I? "I'm going to school."

"Uh, why?" she asks.

"Spencer needs a ride." I say. I'm not beating around any bushes. I put it out there on the table.

"Is that the new girl?" she asks.

"Yeah, Spencer Carlin. She's my neighbor."

"Oh, is she your--"

I cut her off, she's so predictable, "My new girlfriend? No. I don't have a girlfriend."

She sighs and doesn't say anything for like a minute.

"Chrissy, you still there?" I ask turning a corner sharply.

"Yeah..."

There's something on her mind, "What's up? Sounds like you got something on your mind."

"You know what I have on my mind." she says quietly. "You."

No, no, no.

"I know this will freak you out. I know you told me you didn't want this at the beginning of this relation—" She stops her self, "Thing but I can't help it. I cant stop thinking about you. You're really amazing." she says.

Crap, I have the hiccups, "You're—amazing, too." ow, these are those violent hiccups everyone's always talking about. I don't know how I got them, I haven't eaten anything lately.

"But you don't feel the same way about me now do you?" she asks knowing what the answer is.

I sigh and hiccup, "Why do you _have to_ be in a (hiccup) be in a relationship? Why do you need to (hiccup) need to justify what this is?"

"Because I want to be with you that way, okay? Is that so wrong? To want to be the only one you look at, the only one you think about. The only one that drives you crazy..."

"You **do **(hiccup) drive me crazy. I **do** think (hiccup) about you. I (hiccup) **love** looking at you." I say and I think, now that I said it, love wasn't the best word to use. And it's really hard to say all those things and seriously mean it while violently hiccuping.

"But then again I'm not the only one you think about or the only one that drives you crazy or the only one you love looking at, now am I? And you don't love me." she says.

"I do love you, (hiccup) just not--"

She cuts me off, "Not like that?" she asks.

I nod, "Yeah."

"What is 'like that'? I mean we do everything a couple does. We go out together. Movies, mall, Starbucks, what else is there? We talk on the phone a lot. We have sex. We basically are in a relationship you just don't want to call me your girlfriend. You want all the perks of being with me but not _being_ with me."

She's right, we do all those things and we're not together. "I know that. We do all those things because they're fun. This is what _you_ signed up for when you decided to get into this THING with me. None of this should be a big surprise."

She begins to yell, "I know that, okay? I never expected to fall for you. No matter what I told my heart to do, it wouldn't. I said 'don't fall for her, this was just suppose be for fun'." She gets quieter again, "I'm sorry I cant control my feelings. I cant decide who I fall for. I'm not like you, I can't just do things without getting attached, I guess."

I sigh, "I did get attached. If I wasn't then I wouldn't be trying to work this out with you right now. I would've just hung up or avoided you. But I want to hold on to our friendship."

She scoffs, "Friendship? We didn't have a friendship."

"Yes, we did. Yes, we do." I say confused.

"No, because if we did that would mean you fuck all your friends and I doubt you do that. But then again I've always had my suspicions about you and Jamie."

Okay, that was the final straw. I was being calm and content up until this point, "I can't do this, Chrissy. I won't. I know what I told you, I'm sorry you don't see things my way anymore--"

"I, honestly, never did." she says.

"Well, I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry you fell for me. I wish I woulda fell for you, too, but I did not. And I'm not gonna beat myself half to death because I don't feel the same way about you. It isn't fair to either one of us but, hey, life's not fair." I sigh, "I like spending time with you. I like hanging out with you. I like having sex with you, that makes me a horrible person but sex is suppose to be enjoyable. And aside from the sex thing, we had a normal friendship. I wish we could keep it but obviously not."

"Because you don't have a conscience." she says,

"What?" I say screeching. I turn in to the front of the school and park, "I do have a conscience, okay? If I didn't then I wouldn't feel bad about everything that's happening between us right now. How dare you even imply--" I stop myself, "Look, I care for you. That's all there is, not in the way you want me to but I do care. And I'm gonna stop talking to you right now because if I say anything else our friendship will be ruined to the point of no return so I'll talk to you later. Much later." I hang up my phone without a good-bye and toss it in the passenger's seat.

Ugh, damn. Two fights in one day. Is there a special day everyone marked on their calendar called 'Ashley's a bitch, ruin her life' day? I need to scream.

**Kind of a bad day Ashley's having, eh? It could only get better right?**

**xoxo**


	16. Chapter 16

**Remember how I said Ashley's day could only get better? Well... everything gets worse before it gets better **

**xoxo**

I turn up the radio, Hannah Montana's See You Again is playing. That's okay, it doesn't matter what's playing. I turn the radio up as loud as it would go and then I scream. I scream bloody murder. No one's outside so no one can hear me. And that's good because no one needs to think I'm crazier than they already think I am.

I take a deep breathe then pick up my phone. I call Spencer, "Hello?" she answers.

I sigh, "I'm outside."

"Oh, okay. Give me one minute, okay?" she asks.

"Take your time, I don't have a life you know."

She laughs, "Okay."

"Alright, bye."

"Bye." she hangs up and I toss my phone aside again. This time I toss it in the cup holder which I realized I don't actually use as a cup holder. It's more of a junk holder type thing. This would be the perfect time to go rummaging through all this. There are a lot of pennies, a few dimes, a nickel. Ooh a quarter! Two pieces of paper... with telephone numbers on them and I have no clue where they are from. I toss them out the window, I don't want Spencer to think I'm more of a slut than she already thinks.

I spend the next five minutes sorting through my car and I think my hiccups went away. But I've found stuff from junior year, like old essays that I unexpectedly passed. Kinda makes me feel smart. I hear a knock at the passenger side window; I look up. Spency-boo. I smile and unlock the door from my door panel.

She opens the door and before she hops in she stares at me, "What?" I ask.

"What are you doing?"

"Cleaning out my car." duh, what does it look like, sweetheart?

She smiles and picks up something, "Yeah, I think you're in dire need because who has a bra just hanging around in their car?"

Oh! I snatch it away from her and toss it in the far back of the car, "Will you get in already?"

"Well, I don't want anything to jump out at me, you probably have lost puppies in here."

Haha, oh, wow, Spencer made a joke at my expense. Nice, "Ohh, Spen's trying to be funny, huh?" I ask.

She shrugs rather cutely, "I try my best."

I smirk at her, "Get in the car."

She laughs, hops in then slams the door behind her. She looks at me, "You still didn't make me any promise that says a little puppy isn't dying somewhere in this junk pile."

I push her, playfully, "Whatever. I can promise you that there's no puppy in here. But I can tell you there's a B-I-T-C-H in the passenger seat." I say.

She rolls her eyes as she smiles, "That's funny because there's one sitting in the driver's seat. How uncanny."

I smirk at her, that was pretty good but she's still an amature at the art comebacks, "And I'm guessing your squad told you that, hmm? Or was it more like 'she's a lesbian, she'll definitely try to kiss you'?" I ask, joking around but I guess it sounded kinda serious to her.

Spencer doesn't say anything.

"Hey, I was only kidding. I don't really care what the cheerleaders think about me." She still doesn't say anything. "Spencer," I put my hand on her knee and she looks at me, "It was just a joke. I really am fine with the squad hating me. Unless one of them fucks with me then it's time to dance."

Spencer laughs, "Dancing? That's an odd way to solve a confrontation." She looks at my hand on her knee and I remove it with a swiftness and place it on the steering wheel.

I smile, "You can't be that dense, Spen."

She smiles, too, "I know what it means." I nod and put the car in drive.

"So what did the little cheer bitches say about me? Oh, sorry, what did the lovely, young women say about me?" I ask, you know, out of curiosity.

She looks at me but I cant make eye contact because, hello, kinda doing something that requires both of my eyes. Unlike Kyla, I don't think I could ever do my make-up while driving and I don't even know how she does, she's already a driving hazard. "Nothing, really."

I scoff, "Really, Spencer?" I ask. "You know I could make a U-turn and go in there myself and ask them what they think of me. I'm pretty sure their response will be a little bit different from yours." I smile.

"I thought you said you didn't really care what they thought of you so why would it matter?" she asks.

I shake my head. There's a red light, stop. I look at her, "Well, I don't care. But I'd like to know what they told you so I could at least defend myself before your mind's already made up about what a horrible person I am. I'm only somewhat horrible. So they're only half right."

She sighs, I can tell she really doesn't wanna say what they said about me. She thinks I'm gonna get upset or something. Please. After four years of the cheer whores being on my back, I learned how to 'man up', for lack of a better term. "They said you were really mean."

"Only to them... because they're bitches. Continue." I add.

"And that you made..." I see the gears turning in her head, "Unwanted advances on Erin." she says slowly and cautiously.

I scoff and laugh, "Seriously?"

Spencer nods.

I shake my head. Green light, go. I direct my eyes back to the road, "I can't believe that."

Spencer doesn't say anything. She keeps her head forward. I notice that she's starting to get nervous because she's twiddling her thumbs in her lap.

A low growl comes from me, I'm kinda furious, "Who told you that?"

"Um, Madison who said that Erin told her..." Spencer says quietly.

I hit the steering wheel as I drive, "Bitch." I say referring to Madison not Spencer. I look over at Spencer; I'm probably scaring her, "I'm sorry, I'm most likely freaking you out right now."

Spencer looks down at her hands then to me, "It's fine."

I pull into my driveway. No cars, meaning mom went back to work, I guess. I turn off the car and sigh.

Spencer could get out right now, I mean she lives right night door. Did she really expect me to park in her driveway then drive right back over to my house?

I roll my eyes, I'm burning up with anger, "You can go home, you know? You don't have to watch me. I'm not gonna kill myself or anything but I may kill Madison and/or Erin so be prepared to call the cops."

"Well..." Spencer begins.

I look at her, "Yeah?" I ask.

"I was wondering," she straightens up, "What did happened between you and Erin?"

What? How could she possibly know anything did go on with us? It's not obvious because I'm kind of a bitch to Erin. "What are you talking about?"

"Well, I've heard stuff around school and around Kyla and I've noticed the way your body language changes when someone mentions her name. You kinda tense up and get this odd look on your face."

"What have you heard?" I ask. I am not gonna deny that I tense up at the presence or sound of Erin. I know I do so why lie? If it's that obvious then eh.

"I heard you and Kyla talking about it last night downstairs and then I heard Madison and Erin talking about _something_ and your name kept coming up. Then I heard you and Erin talking in the locker room and I just assumed..."

I sigh and rest my head on the steering wheel. I probably shouldn't tell Spencer anything. I don't even know if she's trustworthy, yet. Ugh, yes I do. I can just feel it. "You have to promise me you want tell anyone." I say with my head still resting on the wheel.

"Of course, no problem." she says.

**Maybe someone will interrupt so Ashley doesn't have to tell Spencer such a sad story. Everyone always interrupts at the wrong time but no one ever interrupts at the right time. But hey, it could only get better, right?**

**xoxo**


	17. Chapter 17

**Lol. Apparently if someone interrupts Spencer and Ashley I'm evil. Then, if no one interrupts them… I'll still be evil. Lol how am I supposed to win? But guess what, no one's gonna interrupt Ashley… at the moment. ;)**

**xoxo **

I lift my head up and look at her, "So," I sigh again, "Erin and I dated for seven months..." and I continue to tell her the rest of the story. She keeps eye contact with me, no matter what I say. I tell her every known fact, well, everything I know because apparently I don't know everything.

And then I finally get through all the most recent events, "...and I met her today at Starbucks."

"How'd it go?" she asks. She's been asking questions throughout my whole explanation, I think that's a good sign.

"Bad. I just really couldn't talk to her. It was just too hard."

Spencer places her hand on my hand which is resting on the armrest. I try not to make it so obvious that I noticed but I definitely did. "I'm sorry."

"Nah, it's cool. It's taken me a little bit over six months but I'm over it." I think I am. She starts rubbing the back of my hand, gently. I'm starting to blush a little bit. "So any secrets about the mysterious Spencer Carlin?" I ask.

She smiles, "Do I look like the type to have secrets?"

"Everyone has secrets; big or smile." I smirk. That's something I learned so far in life, "So what's one of yours, that's the least you could give me after I gave you the juiciest tale at our school."

She laughs and opens her mouth but a knock at her window makes us both of us jump. Spencer looks closer, "Mom?" she says then she takes her hand off mine. Spencer opens her door, "What are you doing here?"

"Today was a half a day. I've been waiting for you at home for the past two hours." she doesn't even look at me. Mom's have this mom radar that tells them when a kid is bad or does stuff that's against their religion. That's the only reason I came up with for why Jamie's mom hates my guts. I've been nothing but nice to that bitch—I mean lady. I use manners and she still hates for Jamie to hang out with me. I think she knows about me and my girl lovin' self and the Catholic in her disapproves. I hope Spencer's mom likes me. I hope she's not Catholic.

"Uh, mom, I told you I had cheerleading practice today and that I was coming over to hang out with the Davies'." Spencer says.

Her mom finally makes eye contact with me. I look at her and put on my nice girl smile, "Hi." and I give a quick wave.

Her mom smiles then it vanishes, "You're not Kyla, right? Ashley isn't it?"

I guess my reputation proceeds me, "Yep. Ashley Davies. The other half of the set of twins."

"Nice to meet you." she says and I get the feeling she doesn't like me already. But I am starting to notice where Spencer gets her good looks from. "I'm Paula Carlin." Paula has beautiful blonde hair, like her daughter. I would say their eyes are somewhat the same but Spencer's are just bam. I've never met anyone with eyes like hers.

"Are you still hanging out?" Paula asks.

Spencer nods slowly and speaks just as slow, "Yeeeeaaaaah. You kinda interrupted. I'm not done."

"Oh. Well, when are you gonna be done?"

"I don't know. Why does it matter? I'm just gonna be right next door. I spent the night here last night, you know?" Spencer says.

"Oh, okay. Well, just, um, call me if you need me. I'll have my cell on. It's always on." Okay, she can stop talking now, "You can always reach me." She's done, "So just call." Never mind.

"Mom!" Spencer says, "I know, I know. Chill out."

Paula nods. "Okay, I'll see you when you get home." She looks at me, "Nice meeting you, Ashley." then she, poof disappears.

Spencer closes her door then looks back at me with a weird smile, "So that's my mom."

I scoff, "And I can tell she sure loves me." Sarcasm, by the way.

Spencer shakes her head, "She doesn't even know you."

I shrug, "Whatever, but when you find out she wants to burn me at the stake, I get to say I told you so." I'm completely serious, stuff like this always happens to sweet, innocent, little me. Well, mark out the sweet, innocent and little comment and insert evil and sinister and you got it.

Spencer laughs, "Okay, it's a deal."

"So, are we gonna go inside or are we gonna wait for your dad to harass me too?"

She pushes me lightly, "We're going inside." she lets herself out and I do the same.

We talked forever and I found out a lot of valuable information. She moved here from Ohio because her mom got offered a job by my mom's hospital and she took them up on their offer. She used to be a cheerleader at her old school, head cheerleader actually. She has two brothers, Glen and Clay. Clay's adopted. Her dad's a social worker and he's pretty chill. And her mom, the odd lady I met, is a doctor and is super religious. I knew it and she for sure hates me. I radiate gay.

And we started talking about past relationships and Spencer told me a few things that no one knows about her. She's not a virgin. Her last boyfriend, Randy or something, convinced her to do it with him as a going away present. It was his present for her going away, it wasn't like he was going to college or anything; he was just a horny douche. And there was another thing, though. She was so embarrassed to tell me so I changed the subject and asked her what her favorite bands were. She named people I thought had died. I told her I would update her music arsenal.

Overall, it was a really good two hours spent with Spencer Carlin. Except I kept having this ongoing urge to just kiss her but who knows where that might've gotten me.

I call Jamie as I lay down in bed, "Yeah?" she answers groggily.

"Hello, Jammyjam, you sound tired." I say happily.

I hear her yawn, "And you sound like you're hopped up on Prozac. So how did your date with Erin go anyway?"

I roll my eyes, "I already told you about that." Wait, "And it wasn't a date."

"Whatever. How bad was it? I mean I didn't get the full emotion from a text. The smiley faces help but they don't make much of a difference." she says and I get that.

"I walked out on her. There was just to much of Madison, Madison, Madison in those sentences she was putting together. I mean, there was never what Erin thinks, it was all just Madison. Argh." Frustration coming back. Breathe, Ashley, remember what they taught you in therapy. But then again that never worked now did it?

Jamie laughs, "Remember your breathing from therapy slash anger management slash where your parents sent you to avoid you over the summer." that's true. While Ky was away at camp my parents couldn't have me lounging around the estate so... off to anger management because I bitched out an officer one time. God, no one understood that.

"I am not going there this year. Kyla better stay in town or I'm gonna have to bitch out the therapist." I joke, I couldn't. Unless it was under the right circumstances.

Jamie laughs, "Well, why are you in such a good mood anyways?"

"I told you I was hanging out with Spencer today, right?" I say.

Jamie gasps, "No! You did not bang the new girl! You are quite the welcome committee." she says.

That deserves a chuckle or two, "No, I didn't, jeez. We hung out after school."

"What'd you do?" I can literally hear the wiggle in her eyebrows. I'm sure she's insinuating that I did something with her.

"We talked, isn't that sexy?" I say laughing.

She scoffs, "Oh my god, you talked? No way. You know how to actually make words with your lips? I won't believe it."

"What the fuck ever, Jamie." I say smiling.

She laughs, "Okay, so you talked? What about?"

"Well, she knows about Erin but she mostly talked about her because I think she knows enough about me."

"What?" she says in shock, "How'd she find out about Erin?"

"Okay. Well, get this: the cheer bitches told Spencer that I made unwanted advances toward Erin. Spencer heard from Madison who supposedly heard from Erin."

"So you told her how it really was, right? We can't have her thinking you prey on girls."

I close my eyes and yawn, "Yep. And she didn't seem to have a problem with it. Oh, but guess what."

"What?"

"I met her mom and my theory was totally proven. Mom's have--"

"A radar." she sighs like she's exhausted with my theory, "How many times are you gonna bring that up? My mom is the only one that doesn't like you for no reason. Get over it. It's only a theory when you have more than one experiment to base your evidence off of."

"Getting all scientific on me?" I ask, "Seriously, though. I smiled sweetly and used my manners but I still got that look from her and that some feeling I get when I'm talking to your mom. I knew Spencer's mom was Catholic before she told me."

"Oh, so now it's just Catholics?" she asks.

"I guess so."

"Psh," I know she rolled her eyes, "When you have more evidence you let me know."

"I will. So how did skipping with Seth Dude go?" his last name isn't really Dude. That's just all he ever says. I mean every time he refers to someone it's either that Girl Dude or that Dude. C'mon expand that vocabulary, Seth. Webster's Dictionary just updated and added new words.

"Oh my god, it was horrible." and that's all she says.

"Wanna elaborate?"

"Not really." she says. And when she says that, that usually means that something bad happened.

"What'd he do?" I say in my big sister voice. Meaning I'm willing to go hunt him down and shoot him in the ass with a few darts, at the very least.

She sighs, "We went back to his house, his mom was at work and--"

"Seriously, Jam? You went to his place alone. What did you expect he was gonna do? Ask you to put on an apron and bake cookies? Okay, what guy has ever done that?"

"So are you gonna let me finish or do you wanna continue to point out my flaws?" she asks.

"Continue."

"So we go back to his house and we watch a little TV then we start making out."

"Oh, here comes the good stuff." I'm being completely sarcastic. Boys are so clumsy when they're making out.

"He puts his hands up my shirt, I didn't really care. Then he goes down to my pants and he tries to unbutton them but I slap his hand away. And he's all like 'what's wrong?' And I say 'uh, I don't want to sleep with you'. And then he's like 'it's gonna be okay, baby, I'm gonna rock your world.'"

I laugh, "Seems like he has a way with words."

"And I was just like 'uh no' but he just kept on trying until I had to scream it in his face. He got angry and he took me home. End of story. I'm never seeing him again."

"Better sooner than later."

"You can say I told you so."

"Ha! Told you so! I have more than just gaydar. I have douchedar and it works just as well."

Jamie laughs, "You're stupid. Well, how about you pick out my next prospect?"

"Hmm, sounds like a plan." I say, "I can't promise you that they'll have a penis but it'll be someone worth while."

She giggles, "It better not be you."

I scoff, "Sorry, honey, you're not even in my league."

She laughs, "We've already gone over this, with a simple snap of the fingers I could have you here, spit shining my shoes."

We crack up. That was pure genius.

After I regain my composure I speak, "You are too much."

She controls her breathing, "You just made my day."

"Same here."

"Psh, I'm sure Spencer made your day, you're like in love with the girl."

"Shut up with that." I say. I don't believe in love anymore.

"When you and Spencer fall in love, I better bet the first to know. I want you to call me and our code word will be..."

I think I should humor her, "White lines & Red lights?" I ask.

"Yes! That's the cutest love song in the world. Say that. White lines & Red lights." she says more excited than she should.

I chuckle, "Okay, okay. And on that note I'm going to bed."

"Yeah. Me too." she says with a yawn.

"You need me to pick you up tomorrow morning?" I ask knowing the answer will probably be yes considering there are no boy toys in the picture.

"Yeah, you know the drill."

"Coffee?" I ask.

"I guess, why not?"

"Nighty-night, Jammyjam."

"Nighty-night, Ash." she says. We hang up.

I gotta say that this day has been an overall great day. It should've been horrible because of Erin and Chrissy but, I just don't feel that way. And as much as I hate to admit it... Spencer makes all this crap worth while. I look forward to seeing her tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that...

**I think Ashley Davies may be sprung. Lol. But yikes, paula's in the picture now. Ashley totally does have Mom-Hate-Me Dar. No lie. **

**xoox**


	18. Chapter 18

**Ashley is totally sprung. ha. **

**xoxo**

Three weeks ago, I officially met Spencer Carlin. Ever since then we've kinda been inseparable. We've hung everyday after school, with or without Jamie or Kyla. It's finally good to have Jamie like someone that I think I might like for a change. Basically meaning that Chrissy never had a chance since Jam didn't like her.

Speaking of Chrissy, I haven't really spoken to her since we had that conversation over the phone. She sends me texts and I respond but it's definitely not how things used to be. I miss hanging out with her to be completely honest, it wasn't all about the sex, you know? Oh well, there's not much I can do in that department.

And as for Erin...

She keeps trying to talk to me. Not at school, of course, because rumors would probably start about us again and god knows that Erin doesn't need that. Whatever. I don't know if I should even believe anything she says. I mean she can't even talk to me in public, everything always has to be a secret. I'm not the one living fully in the closet. I just have a foot in the door, Erin on the other hand is submerged. And I personally don't think I have to deal with it, she's the one that set me loose.

But back to Spencer, though. She hasn't caught on to how I _think_ I feel about her. And I have yet to figure out if she's even gay or bi or something. I've had so many urges to kiss her these past weeks it's ridiculous. But I don't because I don't want to wreck this friendship if she doesn't even feel the same way about me. Maybe I just need to flat out ask her if she is, be very blunt about it. What's the worse that could happen?

"Ashley, this is ridiculous." Spencer says to me.

"How is this ridiculous? It's perfectly normal for hotties our age." I say yelling to Spencer from my closet. I'm trying to convince her to go shopping for thongs, kinda odd that's she's never even tried one on. I'm not a lover of the butt floss but I have a few in my drawer for special occasions.

"I don't it just seems so unnecessary. Why not just don't wear any at all?"

I come out of my closet fully dressed. Black Vans ® slip-ons, blue jeans, white studded belt and my simply black Saosin shirt. "Well, you know people do that, right?" I ask.

"Do what?" Spencer asks being her cute blonde self.

"Don't wear underwear. It's called going commando. Did they not have that saying in Ohio?" I ask walking over to my dresser and picking up this apple scented body spray that my mom got me. Oh! And that reminds me I never sat down with my mom and had that talk. I'll call her today, we'll get together some time this weekend. Probably Sunday because Spen has to go to church tomorrow, which she's trying to convince me to go to. I'm not really a church goer, I'm afraid I might catch on fire.

"Ew, commando? I've heard that before, Glen does it. I didn't know girls could do it." Spencer says.

I shudder as I spray the apple spray all over me, "Ew, Spen, that was kinda too much information. I'll never be able to look at your brother the same way now." I think I'm gonna be sick,

Spencer laughs, "I'm his sister, how do you think I feel?" she asks, "And plus he thinks you have some type of crush on him."

I laugh, "Seriously? That's good." I do flirt with Glen from time to time but it's harmless fun. I never thought it was hardcore flirting or anything. Glen? Gross. 

I pick up my lotion bottle and squirt a little bit into my hands and begin moisturizing my legs, "Do you?" she asks.

"Do I what?"

"Do you have a crush on Glen?" she asks sheepishly.

I snort and almost choke, "Are you kidding? Spencer, I'm gay. Glen is not the right sex."

Spencer still doesn't look convinced, "Well, you went out with Aiden."

I roll my eyes, "Which I admitted was a mistake over a million times. Spencer, I don't want a man. I want a woman." Not just a _woman_ actually, a particular one. 

Spencer nods, "Good, because I don't think I could handle another one of my best friends going out with my brother." Spencer told me that her friend, Debbie, were the closest of friends and then she went out with Glen without any warning or discussion. I wonder if that's the same way Kyla felt about Chrissy and Erin.

"Aw, you think I'm your best friend?" I say.

Spencer shakes her head, "I didn't say that."

I stop moisturizing my limbs and I sit on Spencer's laps, "Yeah, you did." I smile big.

Spencer tries to hide her smile, "It was a slip of the tongue."

"Oh yeah? Just a slip?" I ask with an idea to unmask her smile floating around in my head.

"Yes..." I think she sees my gears a-turnin', "What are you thinking?"

I smirk, evil smirk, "Nothing." and then I attack. I start tickling her. Something I picked up from Jamie.

I cant say that I won that tickle fight, I'd have to say it was a tie. Okay, who am I kidding? Spencer kicked my ass, she winds up straddling me. "Fine, Spen, you win."

She's pinning down my wrist above my head, "So now you know who's the boss?" 

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, becoming power hungry already? You haven't even had it that long." I joke.

She smirks, uh-oh, she's picking up my evil smirks, "You think you're so funny."

"No, I don't. I know I'm funny." and then I wink. She giggles and turns red, "I think you should've blushed when you started straddling me five minutes ago."

"Oh, sorry." she giggles some more.

"No, really, it's absolutely fine." I say.

For the next minute and a half we just stare at each other with the stupidest smiles plastered across our faces. My phone rings and knocks us out of our cute-ish idiot stare. "I kinda have to get that." I say not really wanting her to move.

"Okay, sorry." she says then moves quickly off of me.

I scoot off the bed then walk over to my dresser to look at who's ringing me. It's Jamie. She's supposed to come with us to go shopping for Spencer. Jamie and I actually just sprung it on Spencer yesterday. "Hey, Jamie."

"Hey, Ashley."

"I'm still coming to get you if that's what you're worrying about." I say staring at Spencer. She's looking out the window. She looks like she's deep in though about something. Aw, she's so cute.

"...did you hear me?" Jamie asks. I must've tuned her out.

"What? What? What'd you say? Sorry I was kinda, um, kinda... distracted."

"Did Spencer take off her shirt or something?" she asks laughing.

I scoff, "Ha-ha. Funny. So funny I almost forgot to laugh."

"Hilarious, I know. But I was saying that I can't hang out today. Mom and pop want to have quality time or something like that."

"What? What did they say exactly?"

"They said, and I quote," Jamie changes her voice to sound deep and masculine as she can. It doesn't really sound different, "Jamie, we're going to the mall as a family. Your cousin Tori is getting married so we gotta go pick out a nice dress. She's making it very casual so we should find a nice dress at the mall and blah, blah, blah, blah my name's Roger, I'm your dad. Oh, and I talk out of my ass." she turns off the voice, "And then my mom came in and told me that you can't come and they never see me without you."

I laugh, "If that wasn't a sign that your mom hates me then I don't know what else would be."

"Ugh. I don't think she realizes that you are apart of my family. Sometimes I just want to strangle that woman." 

"Aw, that's the second nicest thing I've heard today. And with that whole strangling your mom thing," I whisper, "I'll help. I know a guy."

She laughs, "She'd come back and haunt you. So that means when you and Spencer are--"

I cut her off with my normal voice, "You have a vivid imagination, I recommend you cease right there."

"I was just gonna say that when you and Spencer are out shopping she'll pop up. Jeez, don't be so touchy."

"Whatever, you knew you were gonna say something different." she's not as clever as she'd like to be. I see right through her.

"Okay, Ashley. So where is our little Ohio princess?" Jamie asks.

Uh, I actually don't know where she is. "I don't know where she is. She was just staring out the window and now." I look around my room and—I spy Spencer, "She's out on the balcony."

"Oh God, she's gonna jump, Ash. Go stop her!" Jamie screams in my ear.

I laugh, "Why would she jump, Jaim?" 

"Because it's taking you so long to make move. God, I'd want to kill myself, too, if you moved at the pace of a turtle."

"You know, an old ancient proverb says that slow and steady wins--"

Jamie scoffs, "The girl? I think not, something about a race, right?" Jamie can be so smart when she needs to be, "Well, you are not in a race. You are trying to court someone."

"Court? Jamie, I am not a peacock looking for a mate, this isn't the Serengeti." I think that's what that place in Africa's called.

"Basically, you are. Did you not watch Mean Girls? It told us everything we needed to know involving high school. I told you to take notes. Sometimes I agree with my mom, you are slow in the head."

I gasp, "What? Your mom thinks I'm slow?"

"Oops, well, look at the time. It's time for family time."

"Jamie Kira." Oh, yeah I'm saying her middle name. I don't care how much she hates it.

"Sorry, Ash, can't hear you. Gotta go."

"Jamie Kira Wright." I say adding in her last name.

"Go get your girl." She hangs up on me.

I'm gonna kill her. She better have been kidding. If her mom thinks _I'm_ slow then what does she think her daughter is? Fast? Psh, yeah. Jamie is fast, a very fast girl indeed if you catch my drift. Whatever, Jamie's mom's retarded anyways.

I tuck my phone in my back pocket then go out on the balcony to chat with Spencer. She has her arms wrapped around herself, I guess it is kinda chilly out here. I place my hand on her shoulder and she flinches. Like she doesn't want me touching her, I guess. "Hey, are you ready to go? That was Jamie, she said she has to spend some time with the parents."

She looks at me with a blank face, "Um, sorry, I can't. I gotta go home." She walks past me without another word spoken.

"Okay..." I say as she walks out of my bedroom door.

I close the door behind me as I walk off the balcony. I lay down on my back on my bed. What the hell was that all about? I must've freaked her out with that whole straddling thing. But she actually looked like it didn't bother her, like she was having fun, I sure was. I know she would eventually get freaked about this whole "I'm flaming" thing. 

Ugh, I always do this. Find a straight girl and warp her mind into thinking she likes me. Why do I always go for the straight girls? I'm in L.A, I'm sure there are tons of single lesbians but no, I have to be the jackass and go looking and searching for the ones that aren't.

I'm home alone. No parents. I know where the key to the liquor cabinet is, I actually had a key made. I haven't had a drank since right before Spencer got here, L.A. I guess I was just too happy to even think about drinking.

**Jaime interrupted, oops. **

**xoxo**


	19. Chapter 19

**[Two hours later...**

I'm knocking on Spencer's front door. I don't even care how I got here as long as I'm here. I'm gonna tell her how I feel about her. Give her a piece of my mind. And that we can't be friends because I don't wanna be feigning for her. I hope that's the right word. 

Ooh, I never noticed how hard doors were. Knock. Knock. Knock. It doesn't break, I mean it is just wood, you know, and not steel or something. This is really intense. "Ashley? What are you doing here?" 

That's not a door, that's a Spencer. I look her in the eye. Beautiful Blue. "Spencer, I need to talk to you." I say.

"Oh my god, Ashley, keep your voice down." Spencer says, more like whispers.

"I am talking at a... good level. What are you talking about?" I say. I think I'm talking at a nice level. Hm, Spencer's eyes look puffy, like marshmallows, only she's not that pale. 

"Oh, my god," she grabs my wrist and starts pulling me toward her, "Come in."My feet feel heavy but Spencer's doing a good job pulling me, grr, she's like Wonder Woman. She closes the door behind me but she keeps pulling on my arm until we're in her room. And she closes that door behind me. Spencer's just a door slammin' tyrant.

I look around Spencer's room, "So, I made it into Spencer Carlin's bedroom. Cool." I sit on her bed. Comfortable like a marshmallow pillow. Or boobs. Yeah, I choose boobs over marshmallows.

Spencer doesn't move away from the door. She crosses her arms across her chest, "Ashley, why are you here?"

"Oh!" she reminded me. I stand up, "I need to tell you some things." I think I feel the earth moving.

"Ashley, what have you been doing since I left?" she asks. Psh, it's pretty obvious. I don't really hold my liquor well.

"Well, I was talking to my friends." I say.

Spencer looks confused. Cute face. "What friends?"

"One of them is Mr. Jack Daniels and the other is Mr. Smirnoff. They're actually pretty nice men." I slur. Yeah, those words were definitely slurred.

"You're drunk?" she asks.

I shake my head, "Wha—no!" Although, that's probably a lie, "I am perfectly... capable of doing anything right now." I start snapping my fingers, "I could carry tune. I could take the SATs. Bring it on." 

"Ashley, maybe you need to--"

Ooh, she distracted me from my whole reasoning for coming over here. "No, no. I came over here to tell you we can't be friends anymore." Good, got it out.

"You came over here to tell me we can't be friends anymore?" 

I nod, "Yeah."

"Why?"

My heartbeat just quickened but that could be from the lack of cool air in Spencer's house. The A/C isn't on. Or maybe even the fact that I probably drunk a gallon of liquor. Nah, not a gallon. "Because..." it's better to be just blunt. Clean and simple. Straight to the chase. "I like you." Pause, "I like you a lot." Nervous chuckle, "And I don't want to be around you knowing I can't have you."

Spencer just stares at me. 

"And I think I'm gonna go back home and finish up Mr. Daniels." I walk toward the door which Spencer is standing in front of.

Spencer shakes her head from left to right, "No."

"Fine," I turn my back to her and begin walking to the window, "I'll go out the window. You know, I'm like a ninja."

"Ashley," she says as she grabs my hand, "No."

I turn around to look at her, "Well, what do you want me to do? I can't go through walls, I'm not Casper."

Spencer smiles, "Ashley, I—remember how you asked me to tell you a secret but my mom interrupted us?"

I nod, "Yeah, what's your point?"

Spencer leans in and kisses me.

"That's my secret, Ashley. I like you." She whispers, "That's my secret."

Whoa, Spencer has quite an effect on me. It just got even hotter and... darker? "Spencer, I think there's an eclipse or something?"

"Ashley—Ash, what are you talking about? We're inside." Spencer says kinda of concerned and distorted.

Oh, wait, I know this feeling. "Oh, never mind. I'm just blacking o..." Blackout!

"Ashley! Ash!" I hear Spencer scream at me but it's definitely too late...

-

I open my eyes only to close them just as quickly. Who the fuck let the sun walk his happy-go-lucky ass in my room? I get angry at inanimate objects when I'm hungover so last night did happen. I did go to Spencer's house and act like an idiot. Oddly, though, I don't remember anything I said. I probably insulted her, I always get a smart mouth when I'm full of booze. 

I crack my eyes to look and see what I'm wearing; it feels kinda breezy. Someone put on my shorts and took of my shirt. I didn't do it, I woulda just passed out in my jeans and t-shirt. But I guess it's still a good thing because at least I still have on clothes and there's no one next to me. Meaning I wasn't a complete booze hound! Yay! 

Okay, enough assing around. What _did_ happen last night? I remember knocking on her front door then being dragged upstairs into her room. And... a kiss! We kissed! Oh my god, I probably tossed myself all over her. Ugh. If I didn't have this fucking head earthquake I could probably think straight. I just had to drink didn't I? Well, Jack was calling my name and I just very well could not say now. I guess that's one of my weaknesses.

I sit up and look around my room. It's still bright in here but not as much; the sun's probably behind a cloud. Good, I hope I have enough time to find my phone. Actually, I don't think I can even get out of my bed. I need something for this murdering head—Oh. There's a glass of water, two pills and... a piece of paper. A note.

I pick it up. I look at the bottom of the note, it's from Spencer. Spencer's such a goody-goody, it's probably her way nice, sweet way of saying she never wants to see me again. I start reading it.

_Good morning/afternoon or whatever time you wake up from being drunk off your ass. :) Kidding, well, no, not really. You were drunk off your ass. Lol. Anyway, I left some aspirin and a glass of water for when you woke up with a hangover. Which I'm sure you did. But take the pills and please don't go drinking anymore. And I'll see you or talk to you when I get back from church._

_Hearts & All,_

_Spencer (Spen)_

I take the pills and wash them down with the water. I need to brush my teeth but I still don't feel like moving. Psh, forget my phone and toothbrush. I'm going back to sleep. It's too early to do anything anyways, it's only...9:30! What the hell, even prisoners don't get up this early. Well, they probably do. But Ashley's, like myself, don't get up this early.

-

Stretching. Mmm. That feels really good. I feel kinda rejuvenated. "Feeling better?" a voice says. It sounds really close.

I open my eyes and look around and there Spen is. Sitting right next to me, "Yeah, nothing's hurting." well, aside from the little woodpecker in my head but I'd take him over an earthquake.

Spencer smiles. It's nice waking up to an angel in the morning, "So the pills helped?"

I smile and nod, "Yeah. And so did the note. Thanks."

"No problem. You needed someone last night." Spencer says.

"Yeah..." I sit up, "Sorry about that."

She laughs, "It's fine. My mom didn't even notice."

"How did I even get back over here? I mean, it wasn't a nightmare, right? I did come over to your house last night."

Spencer clears her throat, "I got Glen to drag your lifeless body over here after you passed out. And, of course, after my mom got called in to work. I couldn't leave you in my room on the floor while I went to church."

"Oh," I need to ask what happened, "So, what exactly happened last night?"

"Well, Glen and I got you here around 1 am and I didn't want you to drown in your own throw up so I watched you. And then I left at 6am because we have to be at church around 8am."

"Wow, you watched me? And then you didn't sleep?" I ask in awe. This girl has a heart, I would've never done that for a girl that forced herself on me.

Spencer shrugs, "I did sleep," Spencer smiles, "I slept in Sunday School."

I laugh, "Oh, god, Spen. You're gonna go to hell for that one."

Spencer's smile halfway disappears as she looks down at her lap, "Well, I'm gonna go to hell for kissing you so I'm sure a little rest didn't really do anything."

She kissed me? No, "You mean I kissed you. You shouldn't be punished for what I did. I'm sorry for that by the way. I didn't mean to make last night a total nightmare."

She looks up at me, "Last night was a nightmare for you?" she asks.

"Well, I don't really remember anything from last night," I chuckle, "All I remember is me showing up and being loud, kissing you and passing out. So I'm sure somewhere in there it had to suck for you and I'm sorry."

Spencer shakes her head, "No."

I scrunch up my face in confusion, "What do you mean no?"

"It didn't suck for me at all." Hello, Spencer, elaborate!

"Spencer, I know we're friends and all but you don't have to lie to me. If you didn't--"

Ooh, she's kissing me again. That just shuts me right up.

"Ashley, I liked last night. Almost as much as I like you." Spencer says simple and slow. Maybe Jamie's mom is right. Maybe I am a little bit slow but if I get Spencer then I don't give a damn.

I nod slowly staring at her lips, "Okay."

Spencer laughs, "Okay? Is that it?"

I look into her eyes, "I mean, I like you, too.

"Good and I kinda got that from our talk last night." 

I'm blushing, "What exactly did I say last night?"

Spencer smiles and giggles, "Something like you want me naked right now. And you like me and some other vulgar stuff."

I'm fire engine red, I'm sure. I don't know how Spencer does this to me, "I'm so sorry. I'm a real asshole when I'm drunk."

Spencer laughs and places her hand on my leg, "I'm just kidding. You only said that you liked me a lot."

I narrow my eyes at her, "You lied to me?"

"Not necessarily a lie. I told the truth, a little bit." Spencer smiles.

I put my hand on top of Spencer's, "So is Spencer actually a bad girl under all that goodness? Because I'd like it."I lean in to kiss her but fall into the pillows. Damn it, I was just getting used to kissing her. And she moved her hand off my leg. I sit up and look at her, "Spencer, I thought it was okay to kiss you now. I mean--"

Spencer has a smile plastered across her face and is staring at my room door, "Your mom." she says through clenched teeth.

I look over to my mother and sit up as straight as I can, "Hey, mother."

She's smiling as she walks into my room, "Hey, daughter. Hey, Spencer." my mom says being a smart ass.

**Everyone somewhat happy now? And this is where Spashley begins! Is it great or are you pissed at the way it happened? Some people don't like the fact that Ashley's drinking but... she is. It's kinda normal. Lol. And thanks to everyone reading. Especially the people that stay up all hours of the night. Lol**

**xoxo**


	20. Chapter 20

**What could Ashley's mom possibly have to say to her? Think she's gonna be a complete bitch or what?**

I smile, "What's up, mom?"

"Did you stay here last night, Spencer?" she asks.

Spencer shakes her head from left to right, still smiling, "No, ma'am. Why?"

"No reason, just wondering. Well, actually..." because you laying in bed with my daughter and half the liquor is gone so, I'm blaming you. "Because it would've been weird if you slept in such a beautiful dress."

I look at Spencer's dress. I didn't realize how good she looked in that dress. A strapless dress with orange and yellow flowers all over, "Oh, well, I went to church this morning and I just got back."

"And you came back to see my daughter before you changed?" my mom says smiling

.Spencer nods, "Yeah, it was really important."

"Are you done with the third degree, mom?" I ask standing up in front of her.

"Yeah, I am. Sorry, Spencer, if it seemed like I was being nosey, I was just making conversation."

Spencer's still smiling, jeez, her face is gonna get stuck like that, "It's fine." she stands up, "But I actually have to go."

"Bye, Spen, I'll see you later?" I ask.

She nods, "Yeah, bye-bye." then walks out my room door.

"You and Spencer seem to becoming friends."

I nod, "Yeah." I think she's getting at something. Keep in mind that my mom has never once mentioned to me anything about knowing I'm gay. So this would be a pretty big step if she did.

"I was afraid you guys wouldn't be. You seem so different from each other. And you don't get along well with Kyla's friends." a smile creeps across my mother's face. If only she knew, "But, opposites do attract."

I cough, "Anyway, is there a purpose for you being in my room?"

"Oh," my mother sits on my bed, "I want you to go out to lunch with me. We didn't three weeks ago so I wanna go now."

"Right now?" I ask.

She nods, "Yes. I wanna catch up with you. I haven't talked to you in ages... I fell disconnected from my own daughter."

I shrug, "Okay. Just,uh, let me get dressed and brush my teeth. Give me fifteen minutes."

My mom stands up smiles then nods, "Okay, I'll be downstairs." she walks out.

She's so weird sometimes, I swear.

Anyway, I guess it's time to get dressed. Oops, I just realized that I was only in my bra. Maybe my mom knows I'm gay.. nah.

Mom decided that we'd go to April's. It's this little cozy eatery. We've been going here ever since I was a kid. My mom and dad had their first date here, yeah, I know, it's kinda old but it's also pretty sentimental.

The waitress just took our orders. She was cute, her name was Willa or something with a 'W' but I'm trying to see if Spencer and I can be something. "So what's up?" I say unfolding my napkin and placing it in my lap.

My mother just smiles at me, "You know I was so happy when I found out I was pregnant with you."

"You were pregnant with me and Kyla at the same time, mom." does she not remember two babies coming out of her vagina simultaneously? That's something I couldn't forget if it happened to me.

She laughs, "Well, I didn't know I was having twins until I was in labor, when they found you hiding behind Kyla."

She never told me this story before, "I was _hiding_?" I ask.

She nods, "Mhmm. They were trying to figure out why I was so big even though I was only having one baby." I can see the reminiscing in her eyes, "Happiest day of my life actually."

Something's not right. My mom gets at nostalgic when there's bad news. Is Kyla pregnant with twins or something? "Mom, what's up? You're doing that whole nostalgia thing you do when you have band news."

She looks away then back to me, "Wanna wait until we get our food?"

I shake my head, "No, I'd rather just hear it now." don't tell me we're moving. I love it here to much.

She sighs, "It's about me and your father."

"Are you guys changing hospitals again because that wouldn't be so horrible, mom. Me and Kyla can deal, we--"

She shakes her head, "No, that's not it."

I look at her intently, "Then what? What has you so weird?"

She opens her mouth but she gets cut off by the waitress, "Here's your bacon and cheese burger." she places a plate in front of me, "And here's your clam chowder." she places a dish in front of my mom. "Is there anything else you need?"

"No." I say coldly. I know I was rude but I really want to get to the bottom of this.

"Well, call if you need anything. Hope your meal's good." she says then walks off.

"Nice, girl."

Ugh, "Mom." I say sternly.

She sighs, "Your father and I are getting a divorce."

Well, talk about straight to the point. I did want to know, though, didn't I?

I look from her face down to my burger. It's well put together, "Ashley." she puts her hand on mine.

I look up at her, "Yeah?"

"Are you okay with that?" she asks.

"What am I gonna say mom? No?" I shake my head, "I have to be okay with it don't I? I can't change it. If you're miserable with dad then--"

"I'm not miserable with dad." she gulps, "He's the one that filed for divorce. He's divorcing _me_." she says with hurt in her voice. I know that sound anywhere.

"He told you why?" I ask... my voice sounds tiny and childish.

She smiles sadly, "No. I got served with the papers while I was in my office at work."

So wait. Dad didn't tell mom that he wanted a divorce. "He just served you with the papers without even talking to you or anything? And he didn't give them to you in person did he?" I ask.

A tear rolls down her face but she wipes it away with a quickness, "Yes."

I squeeze her hand, "I hate him, mom. He shouldn't have--"

"No," she shakes her head, "Don't hate him. He's only human, he can't help how he feels."

"No, mom. Don't stand up for him. He didn't have to do it his way but he, at least, owed it to you to be a good human being. It's not fair, mom, not at all." I say with fire growing in my belly.

"He's your father." she says like that's some kind of an excuse.

"I don't care! He's still a man."

My mother laughs, "I always thought you had the right idea."

"About what?" I ask.

She cocks her head to the side, "Ashley, how dense do you think I am?"

I furrow my brow.

She smiles, "I know you... how am I gonna word this?" she says more to herself than to me. "I know you're into girls."

I choke on air, "Mom, I don't know what you—what you're talking about--"

"Ashley, I'm your mother. I knew when you were born." she laughs and smiles, "And I'm not blind. Even though it seems like I'm never home I still know what's going on around my house. I saw the way you were looking at Spencer. Friends don't give that look to each other." Wow, even my mom can see what Spencer does to me. This is ridiculous for sure.

"I wanted to tell you so many times but... you were never home."

She squeezes my hand even tighter, "Ashley, know this: I would blow off everything going on at the hospital for you and your sister. Nothing is more important to me then you guys."

"So you don't care?" I ask.

"No, not at all. I don't care as long as you're happy. Ashley, you're my little girl, I'll love you no matter what. There's nothing that could ever stop or change that." by this time my mom's in full boo hoo mode and I'm getting there actually.

"Mom, I love you." I say simple and clear to make sure she knows just in case she forgets this moment but I doubt she will. I know I sure won't.

"I love you, too, Ashley." she says smiling.

We talk for the next hour. Just taking bites here and there but not really aware of the food in front of us. She said she's known about me and my girl liking forever. She saw Chrissy and I making out on the couch one time but didn't want to embarrass me. And she said she saw Erin and I sleeping together in my room when she came home from a business trip. We were _just_ sleeping, nothing more actually.

"So what happened with them?" she asks taking a sip of her lemonade.

I sit back, I'm full as a tick, "They didn't work out."

"What happened?" she asks.

"Are you really interested, mom?"

She nods, "Yeah, I asked didn't I?"

I sigh and sit up, "Well, Erin dumped me because she was afraid of losing her position on the cheerleading squad because, as we all know, they make the world go around." I scoff, "And as for Chrissy... she hates me because I don't want to be with her."

"Erin seemed like such a nice girl."

I scoff, "Yeah, not when her high school status is on the line. She values that crap too much."

My mom gets this confused look on her face, "And you weren't going out with Chrissy?" she asks.

I shake my head from left to right, "Not really."

"What was it?" she asks.

"We were just friends..." what else am I supposed to tell her. It doesn't matter how cool she is with her daughter being a lesbian, if I was straight it would be just as weird telling her that I was sleeping with Chrissy without necessarily going out with her.

"Friends with benefits? That's what they call it these days, right?" she asks and my mouth drops.

"Where did you hear that?"

She laughs, "Why wouldn't I hear it?"

I shrug, "I don't know. I just figured you wouldn't know..."

"Well, is that what it was?" she's still smiling, "Or do you prefer I call it a booty call?"

I burst with laughter, "Mom!"

She laughs, too, "Well, either way, is that what it is?"

My laughter slows down, "Do you really need to know?" I'm trying to get around the question maybe she'll get Alzheimer's in the next five seconds.

"I asked." she asks taking a sip of her beverage.

I'll suck it up and tell her. I mean I'll be 18 soon, I need to learn to talk to my mom about stuff like this, "She wasn't my girlfriend. We were just friends... with benefits."

"Why?"

"What do you mean why?" she asks.

"I mean why? Why wasn't she good enough for you to settle with?"

"I never said she wasn't good enough..."

"Well," she clears her throat, "What makes Spencer so different from her?"

"Uh, nothing—well, I don't know. Spencer's—mom, I don't know! Don't make me think about it right now. I'm trying not to think about it. And Spencer's not even my girlfriend, yet—well, I don't know." although I do think about her a lot... does that count as stalking?

My mom gets this knowing smirk on her face. Hey! That's probably where I got my smirk from, jeez, as Davies' girls are cute. I sound kinda conceded huh?Oh, well. "Okay, okay." her cell phone rings, some Mozart crap. She looks at me with pleading eyes, "Sorry." she says, "I don't have to get it."

"You can get it if you want, it's fine. I don't care." I tell her but truth is someone's been texting me for the past hour.

"Hello?" she says as she gets up to step outside and talk.

I take out my phone, slide it open and look at it. I got three texts, two missed calls and one voice mail.

I check my missed calls first. Kyla called and so did Erin. I wonder which one left a voice mail. I'll check it later, now onto my texts.

One from Kyla. _Hey, where are you? You wanna go to a party tonight? Booze. Booze. Booze. Pot. Pot. Pot._ Man, Kyla sure knows how to catch my attention. Well, I don't really know if I should be doing that stuff anymore. I'm turned off booze for a while ever since I had my fair share last night. I text her back: _ Party tonight? Who? And it's Sunday, we gotta go 2 school 2morrow. I don't know about the booze, I gotta tell you about that later. And the pot... not so much. Xoxo, Ashes. _I wonder how I'm gonna tell Kyla about what happened with Spencer. I think I should get Spencer to tell her, I mean, I already did this already with Erin and Chrissy, I don't think I can do it again. Maybe I just need to stop doing it then. Ha, yeah right.

Onto the next text. It's from Spencer. _Are you still out with your mom? Well, there's a party tonight and I was wondering if you wanted to go with me. Well, wait. We need to talk. Lol. I'm weird. Okay, this is kinda long so just text me back when you get home. Love, Spen. _So I need to make a mental note: call Spen when I get home. Got it. _Hey, I'm still with my mom, I think we're almost done here though. I hate my dad with a passion. I'll tell you about it later, I'll call you when I'm on my way home, kay? Xoxo._ Done.

And the last one is from... Erin. Ugh, I need to get away from her. _Hey, what's up? Are you still dodging my phone calls. We need to talk._ That's all she ever says to me. She never thinks that I never want to talk. _I'm not dodging you, I'm out to lunch with my mom, if you don't mind. Is that fine with you? Ugh, why are you still talking to me? Isn't Madison still hovering over you?_ I can be so mean sometimes. Well, damn, I just want to enjoy my happiness sometimes at least for the little time that I have it.

**Aww, is Ashley's day getting worse or better?**

**xoxo**


	21. Chapter 21

**It's been a while since I updated. Sorry. **

**I've been kinda busy but I'm back.**

**xoxo**

My mom comes back, "Ashley, I gotta go, I'm sorry."

I shake my head and stand up, "Don't worry about it. You're a lifesaver, mom, that's what you do. I love you for that." I smile while pushing in my chair.

She smiles at me, "Thanks." she walks over and hugs me, I return it. "Well, good thing we bought two cars."

I nod, "Yeah."

She places a 50 dollar bill on the table where the check is. Willa brought the check a while ago. I think my mom gave her a pretty hefty tip, the bill was only twenty dollars. "I got this." we walk out of the eatery and start to go different ways, "Okay, I'll see you whenever I get home, hon."

"Mom." I say only wishing to tell her one thing before she leaves. She turns around to me, "Thanks for, you know, accepting me and--"

She swishes her wrist at me, "You shouldn't be thanking me. I love you for who you are, dear. Always and until the end of time. You have nothing to worry about." she smiles.

I smile at her and nod, "Well, either way. Thanks still. Bye, mom."

She walks to her car and I walk to mine.

I don't know why I was freaking out so bad about my mom. I love her and she loves me.

-

On the way home I call Kyla. It rings twice before she picks up, "Hey, sis."

"Hey, Ky, so what's this I hear about a party?" I ask jumping straight to the point.

"Well, dang, ask me how my day went first." Kyla says.

I scoff, "How'd your day go? Not like I really care but tell me anyway."

"Anyway, caring sister of mine, my day went well. I have a date tonight."

"With?" I ask. Kyla likes you make work for her information that you don't really care about.

"A Carlin." is all she says.

"Hey, me, too." oops, that just slipped out. Crap.

"What?" she asks.

"Nothing, what's up with you and Glen?" I asks.

"No, no, no. What's up with you and Spencer?" she says kinda scarily.

"Uh, well... we kissed last night and this morning." I continue before she has a chance to speak, I know she's gonna yell at me, "I like her, Kyla, I'm not just assing around, okay? So please don't be mad at me."

She doesn't say anything.

"Kyla, c'mon." I say pleading.

She laughs, "Ashley, I'm just messing with you. I saw Spencer this morning when she came by and you were gone. She told me everything."

"Oh." I'm kinda relieved I guess, "Well, what did she say? What do you think about us?"

"She said she really likes you and I think you better not hurt her."

I nod even though she sure as hell can't see it, "I don't want to hurt her, Ky. I just wanna... be with her." I just had an epiphany.

I want to be with Spencer.

I want her to be my girlfriend. I mean, I don't want anyone else to have her. That doesn't make me selfish, that just makes me... sprung? Whatever, I don't care what it's called, I want Spencer Carlin.

"Okay, Ashley. You're my sister but Spencer's my Spencer. I love you but--"

"I understand. Trust me." I sigh, "I'm not gonna mess this up. I want this with Spencer."

"Hey, Ash?" she asks.

"Yeah?"

"Are you sprung?" she says then laughs.

I roll my eyes then scoff, "I might be, what's it to you?"

"Nothing, it's good. And plus I like you this happy instead of the usual bitch you are every other day. Spencer's gonna get you in check."

I roll my eyes again, "Shut up. She's not gonna get me in check. I'm gonna turn her into a bad girl. We're gonna do it on your bad when we start going at it."

"Ew, no."

"Yum, yes. You asked for it, sweetheart." I say smiling.

Kyla has to laugh at that, "Just don't do it on my 1000-count sheet. Wait until I put the Hannah Montana bed spread on."

I laugh, "Don't worry I'll buy you some more."

"Ew, whatever," she coughs, "So are you going to that party tonight, sis?"

Oh yeah, "Where the hell is it because Spencer texted me about a party, too?"

"Well, it's at her house. Glen's throwing it." Kyla giggles, "Paula's going out of town for... something having to do with her job and their dad's upstate somewhere. Who cares? There's gonna be no adults, and booze." She pauses, "Oh, and your kinda stuff."

Pot. "Uh, I don't know if I'm gonna do any of that."

"Are you quitting?"

"Uh, well, not--" someone's beeping in. Spencer, "Let me call you back, Spencer's calling."

"Alright, call me and tell me the plans." Kyla hangs up.

I click over, "Hello." I say.

"Hey, what's up?" she asks.

"I'm on my way home, you?" I ask pulling in my driveway and I get a smile on my face.

"Sitting on your step." she says standing up and walking over to the car. If that isn't the cutest thing in the world.

I hang up the phone and wait until she comes over, I turn off the car. "Have you been sitting there this whole time?"

She shakes her head, "God, no. you're not _that_ important."

I narrow my eyes at her.

She smiles, "I got here like five minutes ago, I had a feeling that you'd be coming home soon. I call it my Ashley sense."

I smirk, "Whatever, you know you were sitting here waiting on me for an hour. You can tell me the truth, I think it's cute; not stalker-ish."

She rolls her eyes, "In your dreams." she says.

"No, that's not in my dreams. I don't think you actually want to know what I have floating around in this noggin of mine involving you, Spencer Carlin." I say with my flirtatious smirk.

Yes! I got her to blush. She looks away then looks back at me, "So how was lunch with Mrs. Davies?"

I scoff, "Mrs. Davies? She's my mom, just call her Christine." Kinda funny though because she won't be Mrs. Davies for long thanks to my dad. Ugh, I hate him. "Why don't you get in my car and we can drive to... somewhere?" I unlock the doors.

"Are you trying to seduce me Ms. Davies?" Spencer says placing her right hand over her chest like she's shocked.

I raise my right eyebrow and smirk, "Why, of course."

She laughs, "In that case..." she walks around to the passenger's side, opens the door, hops in and closes the door behind her. She looks at me, "Let's go."

I laugh and turn my car back on and pull out of the driveway. Before putting it in drive, "Where do you want to go?" I ask.

She shrugs, "Anywhere that's quiet."

"Okay, I know a place." My parents have a beach house we can go to. I've used it on many different occasions when I wanted to get to know someone one. Notice I said 'get to know someone' instead of 'getting down with someone'. I start driving and spilling my guts out about everything me and my mom talked about. I'll leave the 'my mom knows' thing for last. "I can't believe him. My dad... the greatest."

"Wow. Ashley." I all Spencer says, really reassuring.

I laugh, "Nice comforting, Spen, my dear." I say parking in the driveway of the beach house

"Shut up." she says pushing my arm lightly, "Where are we?" she looks around.

I put the car in park, turn it off and open my door, "A house." I step out and close the door behind me. I walk to the front of the car and look at the house. I haven't been here in a while. I took Erin here on one of our dates and all we did was talk and talk for hours. No joke.

Spencer finally steps out of the car and walks up to me, "Is it yours?"

I nod, "My family's. We have land everywhere. I'm sure we have some in Alaska, seriously."

Spencer giggles, "It's a really nice house. I love the colors."

She's talking about the sky blue accents and the peach color, "Yeah, I picked them out when I was like ten. My mom didn't really take this house too serious. And this is the one she's giving to me when I move out."

"She's _giving_ it to you? Just forking it over like nothing?" Spencer asks gawking at the house.

I smile and look at her, "Yeah, but only if I graduate with flying colors, or something like that."

"Wow." Spencer says like she's in a trance, "I think I might be in love with your house."

I continue smiling and staring at her. I look down at her left hand. It looks so lonely; I grab it. She turns to me, "Wanna see the inside. Believe it or not..." I whisper, "It's nicer."

She smiles at me and nods, "Yeah."

I led her into the house with my hand still latched on to hers. Hey, you never know, she could get lost or picked up by a pervert; not me. I finally let go of her hand to lock the door behind us and check out the place to make sure no one else is in here.

By the time I come back from checking the whole house Spencer's sitting on the couch looking at a picture. I sit down next to her, not too close, I don't want her to be uncomfortable or anything. "Y'all look really happy."

I politely take the picture away from Spencer to look at it. "Oh. Yeah." Me, mom, dad and Kyla at the beach. That was probably the last time we went to the beach as a happy family. Two years ago, actually. "I think that was the last time I saw dad kiss mom willingly or even saw them in the same room talking to each other." We did look really happy maybe because we were really happy. And now I can't even look my dad in the face without wanting to kick him in the nads.

Spencer puts her hand on my knee, "Ashley, did you hear me?"

I shake my head, "No, what?"

"I said everything is gonna be okay."

I look at her and smile. I don't know how she has such an optimistic look on life. "Yeah and it just got a whole lot better."

"Why?" she squeezes my knee.

I yelp. "I'm sorry, you know I'm ticklish there." yeah, I'm ticklish there. It's a weird place but... yeah.

Spencer smiles devilishly, "I didn't know."

I take her hand and interlace it with mine, away from knee, "Yeah, you did. Anyways, I went to lunch with my mom and we talked about _everything_."

She looks from our hands then up to my face, "What's _everything_?" she says smiling.

"She knows about me. She knows."

Spencer gulps, "Oh my god, how is that good? Didn't she freak out?"

I shake my head, "No, she didn't. She was really cool with it. She said she's known forever." I laugh.

"Does she know about... us?"

"Well, uh—" My cell cuts Spencer off. Between the trees again. Thank goodness because I don't know what I would've told Spencer. What are we anyway? I dig my phone out, "Let me get this, okay?" I say dropping her hand and standing up. I answer it without looking at the caller ID, I needed to think about what I would tell Spencer, "Hello?" I step out on the patio.

"Hey." the voice says. I recognize it but I want to make sure so I press a button to make my phone illuminate. Ugh, I was right.

"Erin. What do you want?" I ask. I would've rather just talk to Spencer than talk to Erin. No doubt about that one.

"We need to talk." she says.

**Anyone ever feel like Erin talks too much?**

**xoxo**


	22. Chapter 22

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**So it's been a week and a day since my last update. i figured you guys needed a little something something. so here it is... enjoy, of course **

xoxoxo

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I roll my eyes and sigh, "We did at Starbucks. Remember that?"

"I know but I don't feel like you understood."

"Oh, I understood perfectly and this is how I reacted. Did you expect me to forget everything and say 'Oh, Erin, I love you still. Even though you broke my heart.' I don't think so. You should know me better than that."

She sighs. Why the hell is she sighing? I'm the one blowing off Spencer just to talk to her about nothing. Hey, I should be inside with Spencer. "Exactly. I do know you. And I do know that you love me still and--"

I scoff, "You have quite the imagination on you, huh? Pretty big ego, too. I'm not still in love--"

"Tell me you haven't thought about me ever since that day at Starbucks."

I stay silent. If I said I didn't, I'd be lying. If I said I did then... that would send my world on a crazier roller coaster than it already is.

"So we do need to talk, huh? Ashley, I just need an hour with you. You remember all the fun we used to have in one little hour don't you? Don't you miss that at all?" She's talking about our explorations of each other's bodies.

I shake my head, "Look, I'm busy. I really have to go. I'll ta--" I cut myself off. I cant say talk to you later because she's gonna see it as I expect to talk to her later, "Bye."

"You love me and I love you." she says.

"Stop." I say angrily into the phone before pressing that beautiful red button.

I place my phone on the white table next to me. I sigh, turn around and lean against it. It's really sturdy. From this angle I can see Spencer sitting on the couch. I cross my arms. She looks so delicate and sweet and... great. She's so beautiful.

I guess she senses that I'm looking at her because she looks at me through the window and smiles. Her eyes are so electrifying. I smile back.

Why am I so afraid of being with her? This girl that couldn't and wouldn't smash a fly. This innocent girl. Oh, wait, I know exactly why. I'm afraid _I_ might hurt _her_, not the other way around. I roll my eyes at myself, stupid Ashley.

I grab my phone, slip it in my pocket and walk back in the door. I make sure to lock it behind me before returning to Spencer on the couch. I sit just as close to her as I did before but I don't grab her hand. "Who was it?" she asks.

I bite my lip, "My mom." Oops, lie. If Spencer stays around me long enough she's gonna realize that my nervous habit is biting my lip. "She wanted to know what I was doing t-t-tonight." I'm stuttering, ugh. Why am I losing all my confidence around her?

"Okay." she says smiling, "So what _are_ you doing tonight?"

"You mean _who _am I doing tonight and I don't know. I was hoping a certain blonde hair, blue eyed bombshell." I smirk. There's my confidence coming back.

She rolls her eyes, "Again, in your dreams."

I cock my head to the side and smirk, "You must think I'm talking about you. I was talking about Glen."

Spen's mouth drops which turns my smirk into a full blown grin. She hits me lightly on the knee, "Yeah, right. You were talking about me."

I shrug, "Okay."

She closes her mouth and narrows her eyes at me, "Fine." she crosses her arms and looks away from me.

Aww, she's pouting. I take the grin off my face and put my hand on her knee, "You know I was talking about you."

She still doesn't look at me.

I get really close to her face, like, my eyelashes are millimeters from her cheek, "Spencer." I whisper and she smiles. "You know you want to talk to me. I'm too sexy for you not to." she giggles.

She rolls her eyes eyes and faces me again, "Okay, whatever."

"Exactly." I say.

"So what did your mom say about everything? You never finished telling me because your mom called."

Damn it, I thought she would've forgotten by now. "She said I radiate gay." as Jamie would say.

"Does she know anything about... us?" Spencer asks.

"Um, not really." I don't really know about us if we're talking technical because I don't even know what 'us' is.

"Oh." is all Spencer says. I remember that's the only thing she used to say when I first met her.

I gotta change the subject, "So are you throwing the party tonight?"

Spencer shakes her head, "Not really. Glen is."

"And aren't you his sister? And isn't that you house, too?" I ask slowly.

"Yeah but that doesn't mean I agreed with him that we should have it; I didn't."

"So why didn't you stop him?"

Spencer scoffs and rolls her eyes, "When Glen gets an idea, he sticks to it. Especially if it's about a party."

I smile, "Sounds like me."

Spencer smiles, too, "But you could party alone. I've seen you in action."

"You're right." I shrug, "I could but who's all gonna be there anyway?"

"He invited everyone from school. He's on the basketball team so he most likely invited--"

Ugh, "Aiden."

Spencer smiles weakly, "I hope that's okay with you."

I shake my head, "Not really because wherever Aiden is, the cheerleaders are and wherever there are cheerleaders there's Erin and/or Madison."

Spencer slaps her forehead with her hand, "I forgot, I'm sorry. Well, we don't have to go. We can go to the park or something."

I smile and shake my head, "No, it's okay, don't worry too much about it. I can handle them."

She looks at me then down and starts playing with her fingers. Her nervous habit. "I'm just--"

I know what she's getting at, "Spencer, Erin and I are over."

Spencer looks up at me, "It would be okay if you weren't. I mean I don't con--"

I put my hand on her thigh but not too far up, "I'm going with you to the party. Whether you want me to or not. You're stuck with me, sweetheart."

She smiles and blushes, "I guess that sucks for me, huh?"

"Psh, sucks for you? What about me? I'm stuck with Spencer 'Goody two shoes' Carlin, you know what this could do to my rep?" I ask sitting back on the couch.

Spencer smiles and stares at me, "And I have to hang out with Ashley 'I'm so hardcore and gay' Davies."

I smirk and roll my eyes, "And you couldn't be happier now could you?"

Spencer leans into me and whispers, "Not really." and she plants one on me. Heaven on Earth. I cant control myself so I keep kissing her. But no tongue because I think that'd be too much for her to handle. Hell, who am I kidding? That'd be too much for _me_ to handle.

Our kissing goes on for quite some time, it was nice but also funny. I put Spencer on my lap so that she has a leg over each of my thighs. She didn't know where to put her hands. At some point she brushed her hand by my boob and she even uttered sorry, moved her hand quickly and blushed. It was the cutest thing in the world. I guess I have a lot to teach her, huh?

Her phone rings as she's resting her hands on my shoulders and mine on her waist. "You do not have to get that." I say in a quite a daze.

She smiles into my eyes, "I think I might. I am, after all, one of the hostesses of this little shindig."

I stifle a laugh, "Shindig? Spencer, honey, what the hell is a shindig?"

"It's a party. Do you not use that word?" Spencer asks looking completely serious, which makes me want to laugh my ass off. But I don't.

I shake my head from side to side smiling, "I'm afraid not." I move my left hand from her waist to her right cheek, "But that's okay."

Spencer blushes even more and looks down. Her phone rings even louder, "I might want to answer that." She reaches in her purse, that's right next to us and I'm surprise it didn't get smashed, and pulls out her phone.

I take my hand away from her face and grab her phone, "You don't want to. Just ignore it." I look at the caller I.D, it's Glen. I hand the phone back to her, "You can answer it, it's your sexy ass brother."

She smacks my shoulder before answering, "Hey, Glen." she narrows her eyes at me.

I smirk, "You love me." I mouth.

She rolls her eyes and turns her attention back to Glen, "Yeah, I'm still coming. Why wouldn't I..." I'm can't really pay attention to what Spencer's saying because, hello, she's fine and she's sitting on my lap. I'm not a pervert or anything, I'm not staring at her boobs. I'm looking at her face, her eyes specifically. Her shade of blue isn't even on the color spectrum. Well, it doesn't matter because I just love the them. Spencer's amazing... so what, I'm sprung. You would be too if she was sitting on your lap.

"Ashley." she says knocking me out of my daze.

"Yeah?" I ask.

"Are you ready to go?" she asks smiling.

I shake my head, "Mm-mm."

She chuckles, "Well, we have to go, the party's starting in an hour."

"What? What time is it? How long have we been here?" I ask kinda angry that Spencer and I have to leave just to go hang out with people I hate.

"I'm gonna answer those in order. I said we have to go. It's 7:15 and we've been here for two hours."

"Nah-uh. It doesn't feel like it. Feels more like minutes, not even an hour." I say shocked.

She whispers into my left ear, "Well, it has been. And time flies when you're hanging out with Spencer Carlin." As un-sexy as that sentence was meant to be, just coming out of Spencer's mouth made it seductive.

She stands up and I throw my head back with my eyes closed, "Why?" I say dramatically.

Spencer stands in front of me with her hands on each of her hips, "So you can go get wasted, that's why."

I lift my head up and open my eyes to narrow my eyes at her, "And what if I don't want to get wasted? Would you stay here?"

Spencer shakes her head, still smiling.

"Ugh," I stand up and stretch, "Okay, okay. We'll go."

"Give me a minute, I'm gonna go to the bathroom." she takes a second to look around then her eyes focus back on me, "Where is it exactly?"

I smirk, "Go down that hall and it's the third door on the right."

"Gotcha." she says and skips away. Seriously, she skips away. I totally put some pep in her step. I smile at that fact. I stretch.

I get a crazing as I stretch. A craving for a cigarette, I haven't had one all day or week as a matter of fact. Okay so I have a lot of bad habits: cigarettes, pot and booze. But I have cut down a lot from the way I used to be. Like my junior year I was nothing but a drunk ashtray, for real. Now I only light a cigarette every now and then when I have cravings, it's not a daily thing or nothing. And for the pot, I don't do it anymore. It's not worth it. I've seen the effects of it and I don't ever want to be that vulnerable around anyone anymore because when you smoke you're always looking for some other people to do it with you; even people you don't know because it just seems stupid to get... stupid all by yourself with no one to watch you. But that's just my opinion.

As for drinking... I like it, I just don't like the aftermath. The dancing elephant. You know the one that dances on your head in the morning? Yeah, I can live without that. Definitely.

I'm having a really bad craving. I don't want to have to walk all the way out to the car to get one. I'll go check the kitchen drawers, my dad smokes. Maybe he left a few.

I walk into the kitchen and check the drawer on the right of the fridge, closest to the door. I see screwdrivers even though my dad hasn't worked on a damn thing in his life. Not the handyman type; unless it involves the human cranium.

Anyway, after rummaging through about two other drawers I finally find a loner and a lighter. Maybe there is a god, hmm?

Right as I finish my first puff Spencer comes out of the bathroom, "You smoke cigarettes?"

I hold the cig away from me, "Not _cigarettes _as in plural. I only smoke one at a time." I smile hoping that was a cute enough joke for her not to get to angry at me.

She looks at the cigarette then back up at my face, "I didn't know you smoked. "

I inhale the nicotine then exhale as I speak, "Well, it's not really a habit it's more of a..." I need to think of something clever, "More like seeing a shooting star. I rarely do it."

"I couldn't tell when we were kissing." Spencer says scrunching up her nose.

"What's up with the face?"

Spencer looks at my right hand, the one holding the cigarette, "Kinda gross."

I lift my right hand up so that it's eye level, "My hand or the cig?"

Spencer rolls her eyes, "Which do you think?"

I roll my eyes as well and grind the cigarette into the chopping board on the counter, "Happy?" I ask. I didn't even kill my craving with those two puffs. I just dazed it.

"You didn't have to put it out, you could've finished it. I was just telling you how I feel about it. That was probably your last one, right? Now you're probably gonna start feigning for one." Spencer says smiling.

I walk over to her, "I'm addicted, okay? I can stop, cold turkey, at anytime I want."

Spencer shrugs and rolls her eyes.

I scoff, "I could. I'll do it now. No more cigs from now on."

"Okay, pinkie promise?" she says extending her little pinkie out, "Don't make promises you can't keep."

"I can do it. I never break promises." I grab her whole hand, not just her pinkie and lean in close to her, "No pinkie promise. Let's kiss on it." I kiss her on the lips.

She smiles, "Well, now you definitely can't back out now. And..."

"And what?" I ask.

"You might want to chew some Orbit, I'm not to fond of kissing ashtrays."

I let go of her hand then roll my eyes, "Are you ready to go?"

She walks over to the couch an picks up her purse and phone, "Yes."

I grab my keys, the cigarette and the lighter then head for the door. I open it, "Come on."

"I thought you just said you were gonna stop, why are you taking--"

I cut her off, "I'm gonna toss it in the ocean, jeez."

She walks up to me, "Don't throw it in the ocean." She reaches her hand out to me, "Here. Give it to me."

I have such a dirt mind. The first thing that popped into my head was not her talking about the cigarette, "I'd love to, are you sure you're ready for that so soon?"

She rolls her eyes but smiles, "The cigarette. Give me the cigarette."

"Oh." I smile and place the cigarette between her index finger and her 'fuck you' finger.

"Thank you." she says as she walks out the door.

"No problem." I say watching her walk out of the door and towards the car. I have to keep reminding myself that Spencer has a personality, not just a banging body. That personality that I look forward to every waking moment. That's basically the only thing that's stopping me from trying to get in her—hey, I wanna do something. I want to dress Spencer one day. Maybe Friday I'll ask her if I can pick out her outfit—oh! I'll dress her in my clothes. I think she'll look just brilliant.

There's a gay guy in me somewhere.

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**Ashley's got a bad habit and Spencer doesn't like it, it wont be that big of deal will it?**

**And, omg, what about this party? things are bound to unfold right?**

xoxo


	23. Chapter 23

**Ashley should deff dress Spencer.  
oohlala.  
xoxo**  


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"Ashley! You ready or do you want a little bit more time to stare blankly into space?" Spencer says smiling at me from the passenger side of my car.

"I would say stare blankly into space but you have somewhere to be so I'm gonna be nice." I say locking the door before walking to the car.

"Ha-ha." Spencer says.

I unlock the doors then sit in the driver's seat. Spencer gets in and slams her door shut, "Aw, you think I'm funny."

She nods and looks at me, "Sure."

I close my door then start the engine, "What'd you do with the cigarette?"

"I threw it in the trash." Spencer says as I pull out of the driveway.

I put the car in drive and start heading back to Spencer's place, "I could've done that."

"The question is: would you?" Spencer asks staring at me with a smirk.

I look over at her then back at the road, "Probably not." I laugh.

"Hey, what's this?" Spencer asks fiddling around with something in her hand.

I glimpse over to see what she has in her hand. A bra. I thought I cleaned my car pretty good, "You're a girl, you should know what that is." I hope she doesn't ask who's it is because there could be two different options for that. Chrissy. Erin. Neither is good.

"Who's is it?" Spencer asks just as bubbly as usual so I guess she's not weird about it. I assume that's good.

"Um, what's the size?" I ask. If it's a 32C then it's Chrissy's. If it's a 36B then it's Erin's.

"It is a..." Spencer trials off.

Da-da-dum.

"36B." Spencer reads off the label to me.

"It's Erin's." Damn, that was forever ago. I wonder if she was looking for that.

"How do you know her bra size so well?"

I stop at the red light and look at Spencer, "I saw them a lot. On her and off her." that was probably one of the stupidest things I've ever said to a girl I liked. Another great job, Ashley.

"Oh." Spencer says throwing it in the backseat. I wish she woulda thrown it out of my window or something. I don't really want to keep that or anything. I'm not one of those weirdos that keep bras or panties as trophies. "Can I ask you a question?" Spencer says. I cant read her tone. I don't know if this is gonna be a good question or bad one.

"I guess so." and I agree anyway.

She inhales before asking. I bet it's gonna be a huge one, "Were there others before Erin and Chrissy?"

I don't get it, "What do you mean?" I ask as the light turns green and I continue driving.

"Like," she takes a few seconds to gather her thoughts, "Were there other girls like that in your life? _Important_ like that to you?"

I think when she says important she means sexual like. "Um, yeah kinda."

"Who?" she asks.

"Uh..."

"Is the list really that long?" she asks.

I shake my head, "No, it's just that... I don't do well with names." I smile.

I look over to Spencer. She's not smiling, "You cant remember their names?"

"I'm just kidding." I sigh, "They just didn't mean that much to me. I didn't really give a damn who I was with a year ago. Erin was the only one I took a chance with. Putting my heart out on the table and all."

"So before Erin you were just..."

I cut her off as she tries to find a word for it, "A wee bit skanky. I mean I'm nothing like I was before. I'd have a different girl every night."

"And you changed it all for Erin." Spencer says more of a statement than a question.

I nod, "Yeah. I really wanted her so I wouldn't lose her, you know? I mean she was a cheerleader. One of the girls teenage boys lust after with their lotion in one hand and tissues in the other. I didn't like it at all."

"Then she broke you heart and--"

"And I kinda resorted back to my old self but not as bad. Yep, that's the story. Stay away, Spen." I joke. Don't take me seriously.

Spencer chuckles but I can tell it's more of a 'I feel sorry for you' chuckle.

"Anyway, what about you?" I ask trying to move this conversation off and away from me.

"What about me?" Spencer asks.

"Have you had any girlfriends or lady friends?" I ask turning into our neighborhood.

Spencer shakes her head, "Um, no, not really."

I raise an eyebrow, "Seriously?"

"Yeah. Why? You don't believe me?" she asks staring daggers into the side of my face.

I shake my head, "No. It's just that in my experience girls have at least one experiment with another girl."

"Nope, I haven't. Consider yourself the first." Spencer says looking down at her hands. Nervous girl.

I'm the first girls she's ever experimented with? What do you say to that? 'Thanks for letting me be the first'? I don't think so. This is probably the only time I have never had a snappy comeback or anything to say. "Uh, well--"

"Your phone's ringing." she says looking out the window. Weird of her.

"Right." I say reaching in the cup holder to pick up my phone. I answer, "Hello?" I say.

"Hey, what did you decide to do? It's 8:30." Kyla says screaming in my ear. The party must've definitely begun.

"Uh, hold on a second." I look at Spencer, "We're going to the party, right?" I ask.

She looks at me and smiles, "Yeah. Of course."

I smile then talk back into the phone, "Spencer and I are on our way, actually. Like right down the street. Two minutes tops."

"You and Spencer, huh? What have y'all been doing? Stuff you might need to confess for?" Kyla says kidding. She better be. She knows I don't do that whole 'confess your sins' crap. If that was the case then I'd never walk out of my house. I commit a sin by just living—breathing. Whatever.

I laugh, "No, none of your business. I'll see you when we get there. Bye, Ky."

"Bye, Ash." she says right before I press end on my phone.

I turn another corner before Spencer speaks, "So I'm guessing Kyla's already at the party?"

"Yep, you know Ky." I say.

"Well, if she's anything like her twin then I know she loves to party." Spencer says smiling at me.

"So I'm guessing you're never gonna let me live that down?" I ask.

She shrugs, "Maybe eventually but definitely not now."

I roll my eyes, "Well, fine. If you get wasted here, tonight, I'll never let you live it down. I'm always gonna be on your ass."

"I wouldn't get drunk off my ass like you did so ha. And I barely even drink so good luck with that." Spencer says to me like a little brat.

I pull into my driveway, "Are you kidding me?" I put the car in the park then turn it off, "Are you telling me that after all this time of hanging out with the cheerleaders you have yet to get shit faced at a party?"

Spencer nods her head once, "Yes I am."

I scoff, "Bullshit. Every party Erin went to when we were together she always came to me totally drunk."

"Well, I'm not Erin." Spencer says matter-of-factly, "Apparently." she whispers.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask.

Spencer shakes her head, "Nothing. The party's starting." Spencer opens the door and hops out with a quickness. She slams the door behind her.

I watch her in the rear view mirror as she storms off. What the hell was that all about? Did I actually just piss off Spencer Carlin? How is that even possible? She's like the single most sweetest girl in the universe. Ugh, well, I accomplished it. I'll give myself a pat on the back.

I get out of the car and close the door behind me and catch up with Spencer right before she gets to the door, "Spen, hold up." I say.

She stops and turns to look at me, "Yes?"

"I thought we were coming here together as in," I look down at my feet then back up at her, "You know—I--"

Suddenly, Spencer's front door opens to reveal a very... um, unstable Glen Carlin, "Spencer!" he screams. "It's about time, the party started hours ago."

An hour ago to be almost precise.

"Well, I'm here now." Spencer says smiling at him.

"And now you're gonna party!" Glen says raising a beer bottle over Spencer's head.

Just before Glen can turn the bottle upside down Kyla comes up behind him and grabs the bottle, "You don't wanna waste that do you? It'd do more damage in your mouth than on your baby sister, right?"

Glen takes the beer back from Kyla then kisses her hard on the forehead, "You're so smart. I didn't even think of that." Glen disappears back into the house.

Kyla uses the back of her hand to wipe off the drunken spit left on her forehead, "Well, hey guys."

"Hey, Ky." Spencer says hugging Kyla.

"_I think she's mad at me."_ I send to Kyla.

Kyla returns Spencer's hug, _"What'd you do?"_

I shrug, _"I don't even know._"

Kyla rolls her eyes then releases Spencer, "Booze in the kitchen."

Spencer nods, "Okay, I think I might go get some." she starts to walk away from me.

"Hey, Spen, wait up. I'm coming with--"

Someone puts their hand on my shoulder, "Ashley?" I know that voice.

I turn to see who it is, "Chrissy." I say surprised, "What are you doing here?"

She takes her hand away from me, "It's a party, I was invited."

"Oh yeah?" I say turning my head to look for Spencer in the house. Shit, she's already gone. I look back at Chrissy and smile.

I look her up and down. She looks good tonight. Black stilettos, jean skirt, black low cut shirt. And I mean _low cut, _like the lowest possible without showing boob. Her hair's curly, she wears it curly when she's trying to impress someone. I wonder who it is. It's not me, she didn't know I was even gonna be here tonight.

**Uh oh. Is Chrissy back in the picture? Is Spencer getting a wee bit jealous in the tiniest bit?  
Xoxo**


	24. Chapter 24

"Yeah. What are you doing here?" she asks me.

"Spencer lives here." I say. I feel like I should be doing some more explaining because by me just saying that kinda implies that Spencer and I are--

"Did you come here with her?" Chrissy asks, still smiling, I hope she's over me.

I scrunch up my face, "Um, no. Not really. It's actually pretty complicated."

She chuckles, "Well, you're definitely the same old Ashley. Can't make up your mind."

I shrug, "Yep." kinda chilly out here, "Hey, you wanna go inside? Getting kinda cold out here."

She nods, "Yeah. Perfect night for me to decide to wear a skimpy skirt, huh?"

"Perfect timing. It looks good on you by the way." I say smiling. I don't think that was flirting, I mean it's just a friendly compliment.

"Thanks." she says smiling.

I nod and we walk inside.

I don't know where Kyla or Spencer disappeared to. Chrissy and I stopped by the kitchen to get something to drink. I remembered that she likes hard lemonade and I handed that to her right off the bat. I got myself a sprite, I'm not really feeling the drinking thing tonight. Don't ask me why because I couldn't tell you.

We find a place on the couch to sit and talk. "So I'm guessing you still don't have a girlfriend?" She asks me.

I shake my head, "Nope. I still don't."

"Hm." she says taking a swig of her lemonade.

"What about you? Got someone special?" I ask.

She smiles, "Yeah."

I smirk, "Really, who's this special someone?"

"Well, you apparently went out with them, er, you had _relations_ with them."

Shit, that could be half the female population of California, "That doesn't really narrow anything down." not that I'm a slut or anything. Well, I don't try to be, it just works out that way.

She laughs, "She's meeting me here, you'll probably get to meet her."

Who the hell is it? I don't want to meet someone I hated a long time ago.

"There she is," Chrissy glows and stands up, "Over here." she waves at someone near the kitchen.

I stand to see who it is. Oh God, "Robin?"

Chrissy looks at me and smiles, "Yeah," then she turns back to Robin who's standing right in front of us.

What the hell? This is horrible. Robin Townsend. It was definitely a love-hate relationship. I mean we dated but it wasn't like a girlfriend-girlfriend thing. We hated each other but loved to... do the things we did. I hated her voice. It's like someone's scratching up a balloon with a mixture of someone drowning a cat. Absolutely horrible.

They give one another a kiss on the lips. It wasn't innocent. There was Robin's tongue stabbing in and out of Chrissy's mouth. I don't think Chrissy liked it too much, "Robin." Chrissy says looking down at her feet. She's blushing, she's embarrassed or disgusted. I'm disgusted.

Robin stops trying to kill poor Chrissy with her tongue and finally notices me, "Ashley. "

"Robin, hi." I respond. I'm overfilled with joy. Oops, there goes my sarcasm.

Robin wraps her arm around Chrissy's waist. Kinda like she's marking her territory, "Hey, long time no see. How have you been?"

I shrug, "Okay, you?"

She looks at Chrissy, smiles then looks back to me, "Things have recently gotten better."

I nod slowly, "That's good."

"Hey," Chrissy chimes in looking at Robin, "Do you want something to drink? I'm gonna get another lemonade."

Robin looks at Chrissy, "Yeah, see if you can find--"

I still remember what she drinks, "Vodka on the rocks. Preferably Grey Goose, right?" I ask.

Both look at me. Chrissy's smiling and Robin's looking a bit shocked, "Yeah, that's what I want. I'm surprised you still remember."

I shrug, "Me too."

"Okay, well, I'll be right back. I want to give you guys a little bit of time to catch up." Chrissy smiles and walks away.

Robin watches her walk away. Robin was wilder than I was when we were doing what we did together. And she's a lot looser and wilder than Chrissy. Ew. Chrissy's too good for her but, hey, then again it's none of my business. "Good catch." she says turning back to me.

I nod, "Yep, nice job." then I sit down.

Robin follows my lead and sits beside me, "Mhmm. You don't ever think about wanting her back, right?"

I shake my head, "No."

"And why is that?" she asks curiously.

"We want different things. It wouldn't work out." I say giving her the honest reason.

"Good." she says smirking. Evil smirk. Mine could never look like that. Ugh, I still hate her. After all this time... I still hate her—well, strongly dislike her.

I raise an eyebrow, "What do you mean good?"

She sighs, "I don't want to have to worry about you trying to win her back."

"What? How do you even--"

She holds up her hand which stops me from talking, "Look, she told me when we first starting dating that if you ever changed your mind and wanted something more than just sex with her then she'd dump me in a second. She said she loved you."

I open my mouth but she cuts me off before I can say anything.

"She _loves_ you, still. Even after you scorned her. And don't say you didn't because I know the damage you can do."

I roll my eyes, "I didn't scorn you. Psh, if anything it was the other way around. I never--" I stop myself . Now is not the time to even bring up that past, "You have nothing to worry about. I don't want to be anything more than just friends with Chrissy."

"But that's the thing. I know what being your _friend_ entails and I would prefer if that didn't apply to my girlfriend."

Did she seriously just say that? She definitely did. She just told me I cant be friends with her girlfriend. She's such a crazy broad.

A smirk creeps across my face, "You can't tell me to do that."

"I just did." she says snidely.

I scoff, "And what if I don't? Hmm? What if I don't stay away from her? What are you gonna do to me?"

"I don't think you want to see." Robin says with a evil, bitchy smirk plastered across her stupid face. Bitch.

"I don't think threatening me is gonna do anything but make me pissed off." I'm not taking this anymore. I stand up, "You're still as crazy as you were when we were together." I shake my head and walk away.

Chrissy stops me on my way past the kitchen, "Hey, what's up?" I think she senses my distress, I'm not exactly hiding my anger. My face says it all.

"Your girlfriend--" maybe I should think before I speak. Robin could be the girl that can get her over me, fully. "Is great. Good luck with that."

"What are--"

"Look, I gotta go—I gotta find Kyla but it was nice talking to you. Um, text me sometime." I say smiling.

"Are you gonna actually text me back?" she asks.

"Yeah. Yeah, I will." I say sincerely. I will. I'll try.

We exchange smiles and I walk away.

I want to find Spencer. I really want to talk to her. I mean I wanted to come here _together_ with her but... I don't know what happened to that. I think I opened my big mouth when it wasn't necessary and said something I shouldn't have. I walk into the kitchen and grab another sprite. I don't think I'm going anywhere near Robin just to get my sprite, 'F' that.

After I get my drink I walk around the house asking people, left and right, if they've seen Spencer. I get all the same responses. 'No' or 'I saw her earlier but I don't know' or just 'I dunno' oh, and my favorite: 'No, I was too busy looking for you'. That last one was kinda off topic but my ego did get a little bigger but that's not the point, right?

I search the dining room, living room and kitchen. Still no Spencer. Maybe she's in her room, I'll check there next.

I begin to walk past the bathroom to get to the stairs and someone grabs me and pulls me into the bathroom. How creepy, right? I tear from the person's grip on my hand and turn on the lights. I roll my eyes, "Erin?" this is getting ridiculous.

She smiles an evil smile, "Hey." she says giving me a little wave.

I put my hand up to my forehead, "Are you kidding? You almost gave me a fucking heart attack."

"Sorry." she says sounding really sincere and... truly sorry. Bullshit.

I take my hand away from my head and stand up straight then sigh, "Why did you pull me in here in the first place?"

She starts walking toward me, slowly. She was at least ten feet away from me before she started moving, "I want to talk."

I roll my eyes, "You ever think you talk too much sometimes? I mean it's just a thought. And plus we already talked. You want to talk about global warming because I can do that. Because, I mean, this," I point a finger back and forth between me and her, "Is solved. This is over. What else is there?"

She's a good foot away from my face, "But I don't want it to be. I don't want this to be over."

"And it's all about what you want, huh? Didn't," I use air quotes, "_what you want_ get us where we are now. This is what you wanted. We're not together. We're not anything. Aren't you happy with--"

She cuts me off with a quickness, "No, I'm not happy. I was **a lot**happier with you. I realize that now."

I sigh, "Well, now is too late." I bite on my bottom lip, "Isn't Madison like watching you or something? Shouldn't you be--"

She cuts me off again, "I don't care what Madison thinks anymore. I don't. I'll walk out of this bathroom, walk right up to her and tell her that I love you."

"Ugh!" I make a frustrated noise, "Stop saying that."

She steps a little bit closer to me, if that's even possible. I mean she was already pretty damn close to begin with, "It's true. And you love me. I'm sure everyday you've thought about me for at least half second if not more." She's getting closer and she puts her hands on each of my shoulders, "We can forget everything in the past and start over." She looks at my lips and licks hers, "Simple. No Worries."

I close my eyes and tell myself to just let it happen but something pops in my head. Or _someone. _Spencer.

I open my eyes and push Erin away politely and her hands fall from my shoulders, "I can't."

"Why not?"

I take my hands off of her, "There's... someone else." I say with pride but I don't know why. But I do have a theory. Maybe it's because this is the first time I've felt this way. First time I truly, honestly felt that I could be with someone. I want Spencer so bad and I am _not_ willing to let go.

Erin crosses her arms and leans back on her heels. She narrows her eyes at me and stares at me like she's looking into my soul. I don't think I have one though, I might've sold it to the devil, "Spencer." she says with no question.

I smile stupidly, "Yeah. Yeah." I think it over and nod, "Yeah, it's Spencer."

* * *

**I've come to the conclusion that Erin might be a tab bit crazy... but aww how cute is Ashley? xoxo**


	25. Chapter 25

It's been a while sorry about that

**It's been a while sorry about that. I'm back on track though. ) xoxo**

"What makes her so much better than me? What makes you want her more?" Erin asks.

Weird, my mom asked the same thing. "It's not like that."

"What's it like then? You had sex with her already? She gave it up faster than I did? Well, of course you'd go for—"

I cut her off angrily, "No, I haven't. This is none of your goddamn business as a matter of fact. And you can pull a Madison and threaten to tell everyone; I don't even care." I shake my head from side to side without saying a word then I open my mouth, "This is stupid. Every time I talk to you I wind up getting super pissed off."

"And you know why that is." she says knowingly.

"Why?" I'm really interested in her answer, "Please, humor me. Tell me why you make my blood boil."

"Because you care. Only someone that you really love you can get such a rise out of you. Can get under your skin like no one else can. That's me."

I roll my eyes, "I'm done with this. This is getting nowhere and I'm tired of getting worked up over nothing." I sigh, "Just leave me alone."

"I can do that," she says smiling... evil, "But leaving Spencer alone is a different story. I'm gonna make her time as a cheerleader a lot more memorable."

I point my finger in her face, "You leave her alone. Don't you fucking mess with her. I'm being completely serious." I take my hand out of her face and shake my head, "You are such a bitch. I do not know why I was so sprung on you. It was seriously not worth it." and with that said directly to her face I swing the door open and walk out, leaving her angry and hot. Hot in the sense that she's not getting anything from me tonight.

I bombard through the crowd and find Kyla, "You still haven't seen Spencer around?" I ask.

Kyla never gets drunk to the point of stupidity so she comprehends me very well, "Yes!" she says with a little more enthusiasm than needed, "I have been looking for you everywhere."

"Why? What's up?" I ask worried.

"Take a look." she looks to her left which is my right.

My jaw drops. I finally found Spencer. She's gyrating all over some guy's junk. She's so wasted, you can see it in her eyes. "How long has she been like this?"

"Um, how about ever since she's been here." Kyla shakes her head then looks at me. I look at her, "I've never seen her like this. I mean she drinks at the party's we go to but not this much." she looks back to Spencer, "I thought you guys were going out, doesn't this pull on your heart strings a little bit?"

I look at Spencer. Watch her rub her body all over some disgusting scumbag. Smiling and laughing. I bet he's thinking he's getting laid tonight. No way in hell. Over my dead body, bub. "We're not together." I watch his hands, they're roaming all over her legs. I scowl and him, he can't see me but it's effective in my head.

"What are you gonna do about it?" she asks still staring at this... gross display of public affection.

I shrug, "Nothing I _can_ do. I have no right to do anything really."

Kyla sighs impatiently, "Look, take her back to our house."

"And do wh--"

"Take care of her like she did for you the other night or this morning." she looks over at me, "OR would you rather her stay here until she gets herself into something with one of these guys?"

I look Kyla in the eye. She _looks_ sober but I know better, "And how do you expect me to get her away from her fans?" I nod my head at the group of guys surrounding her, "And who's to say she doesn't like all the attention?"

She looks in Spencer's direction, "Don't worry, I can take care of that." she walks towards the group and I follow behind her. I wonder what she's gonna do.

I stop just 7 feet away from Spencer and this guy. Makes my stomach turn by the way.

I watch Kyla and Spencer intently, focusing my attention on one then the other. Kyla, by mistake, pours her beverage onto Spencer's top. Kyla should be an actress, I mean her expressions, her face, all of it is just so well put together. And she's acting like she's seriously wasted. They say the hardest thing to do as an actor is to act drunk. By looking at Kyla you couldn't tell.

Kyla's trying to help Spencer clean herself up by putting her hands all over her boobs. Trying to brush the wetness off, which makes all the guys laugh including the one Spencer was dancing with. Ass.

Kyla looks over at me and winks. I take that as my cue. I walk over to Spencer and Kyla. "Ashhhhh." Kyla says looking at me, "I think I spilled something on Spencer." She's swaying. Nice touch. I smell a Grammy.

"Think? No, you did. I seen you do it." Spencer says all slur-y. Seen, Spencer? I think it's saw but, hey, now is not the time.

"Sorree. Well, here," she grabs Spencer's hand then mine and laces them together, "Take her to go get… cleaned up!" she says the last part like a light bulb just went off in her head.

Spencer's too focused on our hands to notice anything Kyla just said. And I gotta say… me too. "Um, okay." I look at Spencer, "You want to go over to my house really quick to get cleaned up? I think your bathroom might be full of drunken sluts." I try to make a simple joke.

Spencer looks up at me smiling, "Is that why you went in there?"

"What?" I ask. I didn't go into the bathroom. Wait, did she see me walk in with—

"Nada." She drops my hand and wipes her face, "It's so hot in here."

I shake my head really quick just to snap back into reality, "C'mon, let's go across the street and get you somewhat cleaned up."

"I don't know. I'm the hostess of this little shindig. I can't just disappear." She says.

I roll my eyes but smile, "You won't be gone long. You'll be back before the party's over, okay?"

She scrunches up her face and thinks about it for a few seconds, "Alright."

-

I walk Spencer over to my house. The whole time having her stumble all over me because she's so gone. She stepped on my feet like twenty times. I don't think I'm ever gonna ask her to dance if the opportunity ever comes up, I don't want my feet to fall off.

I sit her down on my bed, "Anything in particular that you wanna wear? Tank top? Big t-shirt?" I ask lingering between my closet door.

She looks at me and a smile graces her face, "How about..." she puts her hands at the bottom of her shirt and before I know it she's in her bra. It's Victoria's secret, I can tell from here. People call it a gift, what can I say? "This?"

I try my best to keep my eyes on her face but there's something about the way she's looking at me. Oh, and maybe it's the bra, "Um, I'll get you a tank. It's kinda hot tonight." I turn around quickly only to walk smack dab right into the corner of the doorway. "Shit." I say loudly rubbing the middle of my forehead.

Spencer snickers, "You might want to watch where you're going. There's a door there."

"Yep, I became aware of that." I say to myself. Spencer continues to giggle and snicker as I walk into my closet. I'll get her a tank top, being drunk makes you hot…in more ways than one.

I rummage through my closet, with my hand on my forehead, looking for a tank top, I forgot I haven't washed any of my clothes in like a week. But I manage to find a black shirt with the words "Juicy Couture" gracing the breast area. It is definitely Kyla's, I'm not juicy enough for "Juicy Couture". It's gonna have to do because my headache is starting to kill me.

I walk out of the closet and turn off the light with the lovely tank in my hand. "I found you a top. It should be able to fit you, you and Kyla should be about the same size."

I look over to Spencer. She's laying down, maybe she passed out from intoxication. That has it's pros and cons. Pro: no more odd talk from her. Cons: she could throw up in her sleep and drown in it. Um, I think I'd better make sure. I walk up to the bed and observe her. She's laying on her stomach with her face buried in her arms. I can see her body raise and fall so I don't believe she drowned yet. She's still alive. Good, I didn't want to practice being a necrophiliac… kidding, that's gross.

"Spen?" I say in a whisper. "Spen?" I repeat again, kinda sing-songy.

"Hm?" she says with her face buried into her arms still.

She looks up at me, her make-up's not perfect but she still looks perfect, "I got you a shirt, wanna put it on?" I ask talking down to her.

She sits up straight, "Only if it's the one off your back."

Whoa, Spencer's gutsy when she's intoxicated. I smirk and laugh to myself, "Well, if you don't put it on then you're gonna freeze, it's kinda chilly in here." I extend the shirt to her.

She looks from me to the shirt, "I bet you would give Erin the one off your back if she asked." she snatches the shirt from my hand.

"What does that mean?" I ask. And apparently a intoxicated Spencer's equals a jealous, gutsy girl.

"Nothi..." she mumbles as she puts on the shirt.

"Um, okay. Is there anything special you want? Something to drink?" she opens her mouth, "Something non-alcoholic."

She closes her mouth then smirks cutely. It's the kinda smirk where the corners of her mouth barely turn up, "I want something."

I walk closer to her, "What's that?"

She closes her eyes for a second then opens them real quick, "I want you to lay down with me." she grabs my right hand.

Oh. She is gutsy. Nice.

"Please?" she asks playing with my fingers.

"Okay." I say. How could I possibly say no? You tell me.

She smiles and scoots to the head of the bed while keeping a tight grip on my hand, meaning I'm going to the head of the bed along with her. I sit, upright, at the top of the head board. Spencer's still latched onto my right hand but you don't see me complaining.

She rests her head on my lap. My phone vibrates in my back pocket, "Don't get it."

"Well, at least let me see who it is, okay?" I ask and she nods her head into my lap. I smile as I reach, with my left hand, into my back pocket. I look at the screen. Erin. When the fuck will she ever learn.

"Who is it?" she asks.

"Um, Erin." I'm not lying to her this time even in her drunken state.

"Ew, nasty, nasty." Spencer says, "I don't ever wanna believe you even went out with her."

"Me, too," I smile, "I thought you said she was a good person. Cool, as I remember."

"Nah-uh," she yawns, "I said that _you_ were cool. She's a bitch."

I laugh and place my phone to the left of me, "Why is that? What'd she do?"

"She's like... always around you. Always trying to be with you. She makes it hard for me."

That's really cute, Spencer-boo, "Hard for you to what?"

She looks up at me, "Hard for me to be around you. I cant if she's always trying to..." she pauses, "Weasel her way back into your life. Ugh, bitch."

I chuckle and start to rub her hair. Ooh, it's soft. Even though I don't really like babies... nasty, little, germy beasts if you ask me. But then again, they are just so darn cute. Sometimes.

The room goes silent and I have no problems with it. I like it. Spencer just resting on my legs, me petting her. It would be like this everyday if I get what I want.

"You know what?" Spencer says breaking the silence.

"What?" I ask.

She squeezes my hand, "I'm such a jealous person."

I sit and wait for her to continue.

"I hate how everyone is always all over you."

"When has anyone ever been all over me?" I ask and wishing I didn't. I mean, hello, Erin.

"Uh, tonight. First, Chrissy steps into the picture again and you get all smiley with her and then some girl she bought with her is smiley with you and then Erin drug you in the bathroom with her--"

"Before you say anything else, nothing happened between Erin and me. I told her there was someone else." I say pleading my case.

"Oh. Well that's good. But I just hated it." she sits up and still holds onto my hand, "Ashley."

"Spencer."

"I don't want anyone else to have you. I want you all for myself. I don't want to share you with anyone else. This is probably one of the first times I've ever been shellfish--"

"Selfish?" I interrupt her.

"That's what I said." she rolls her eyes but it looks like she's napping sitting up, "I want you. I want all of you. I want... you to be my girlfriend."

I smile.

"And if you don't want it then too bad because that's what I want. And if you won't then I cant be around you. But I hope you don't because... that would suck."

I snicker because I only understand half of what she said, "Spencer, I want you, too."

"Yeah?" she says getting the cutest, happiest impression on her face.

"Mhmm. I told Erin that there was someone else and it was you." I stare longingly into her eyes, "I meant it. I _mean_ it."

Spencer leans in and kisses me. Single most sweetest kiss of the universe. I would probably think Spencer was a gift from god... if I was a holy roller or something. "And I mean that." she says with glossy eyes and a smile.

Kinda speechless, "I was hoping you did."

"I do. I don't care about anything else right now. You're all I think about. And I feel stupid that I waited until I was drunk to tell you all of this." she closes her eyes but continues to talk, "I want to be your friend."

"Friend?" I ask confused. She just said she wanted to be my--

"_Girl_friend. Girlfriend, sorry. I want you to be mine. All mine."

"Are you asking me out?" I ask.

She nods, still with her eyes closed, "Yeah." she opens them and stares at me, in my eyes, "Will you be my girlfriend?"

"Yes, but wait, Spencer, I want you to be completely sure if this is what you want. Having a girlfriend and being a girl kinda causes..." I need to think about my words, "Some people really don't like it. A lot are very opinionated and--"

Spencer cuts me off, "I don't care. What matters to me most is yours and I's opinions. I like you. I don't care. And people that don't like that can shove it up their asssss." she says putting more S's on ass then necessary but I get the picture.

I smile, "Okay, Spencer. Okay. If you don't care then neither should I." I gulp then clear my throat, "I really want us to work. I'm completely ready to be in a relationship with you. _You're _all I think about. I feel like you're that _something_ that I wake up for every morning. Because, let's face facts, I'm not in love with school." She giggles and I continue, "I feel deeply for you. I'm in like with you."

**How was it?**

**xoxo**


	26. Chapter 26

**Guess who's back? I've had some inspiration lately so her I am.**

**Sorry guises. So how about that 2009?**

**xoxo**

"_In like_ with me?" she asks.

"I don't think I really know love yet so I call it like. And I'm in deep like with you." Okay so it sounds stupid when I say it out loud.

"Well, I'm in deep like with you, too." she says whimsical like. Her eyes roll into the back of her head.

"Spencer." I say putting my hand on her face.

"Hm?" she says raising her eyebrows but her eyes are still closed.

"Are you tired? Sleepy? Feel sick?" I ask a little bit worried.

"Mhmm." she gulps, "I'm tired. Can we sleep now?" she opens her eyes and looks at me.

I nod.

She closes her eyes again and pushes me down on the bed. She lays on top of me with her head resting on my left boob slash left arm.

"Are you comfortable? Because--"

She takes her left hand and puts her index finger over my lips, "Shh. Sleep."

I do as I am told and sleep. But not before I wrap my arms around her...

--------

So, four weeks later and here I am. Walking around Pac Sun with Jamie, talking about what she's gonna wear to the beach summer. Considering that summer is almost up I'm not picking up anything.

She takes a rainbow colored, low cut shirt of the rack and holds it up to herself, "How does this look?"

It's kinda cute but, eh, "Uh-uh. That doesn't look like it works for you, dear."

She puts it back on the rack, "You're right. It'd probably look better on Spencer or you."

Gay joke. I smile, "Maybe Spencer."

She continues walking and talking, "So how is that going?"

I follow behind her, "What do you mean _how's that going_?"

"I mean... have you guys had sex yet? She sex you up good and proper?"

I hit her lightly on the back, "Why you gotta make it so vulgar and naughty?"

She stops and swivels on her heels, "Because it _is_ vulgar and naughty. It's sex, sweetheart."

I roll my eyes, "No, we haven't, actually. We haven't talked about it..."

"Well, do you want to--" she scoffs, "Of course you want to."

I narrow my eyes at her. She sees but she doesn't care.

"Does she not want to?" she asks fingering these red pladish booty shorts.

I shrug, "I don't know, I don't even care, really. I just—"

"Love being with her." She says at the exact same time I do, "Yeah, I know. I've been hearing that for the past month. So are you telling me that you don't even think about it? Because that's not the Ashley I know." she puts the shorts back where they belong.

I do think about it. Sometimes a lot and other times… not so much. I don't know, it's not really a big deal to me. I mean it used to be but… being with her changes a lot for me. "Well, maybe that's a good thing, huh? Maybe new Ashley is a lot better then old Ashley."

"So she changed you?" Jamie asks looking at me directly in the eye.

I nod, "For the better."

She smiles, "They say when someone's able to do that without sex being involved then they have superpowers."

I laugh, "Really now? Who's _they_?" I say making quotation marks with my fingers.

"You know _them_ people." She smirks devilishly, "Me."

I shake my head and smile, "You are such a spaz sometimes, I swear."

She blows me a kiss with her free hand because she has a bikini suit in the other hand. My phone vibrates in my back pocket. I wonder what time it is. I take the phone out of my back pocket and look at it. Erin. Ugh, shit.

So, two weeks ago Erin stopped Spencer after cheerleading practice and told her all this messed up stuff about me. She said that I do crack, coke, ecstasy and some other bullshit that sounds completely farfetched. Spencer told me about what she said and, I bet you can guess, I confronted Erin. She cried and groaned about everything. She wound up in tears, saying she just missed me and really wanted me back. And something about using any means possible to get me. Ugh, I mean, damn. She wasn't this enthusiastic when we were going out so why now? Because she can't have me, probably.

I pick it up, "Yeah?"

"Can you meet me?" she asks.

Jamie looks at me and tilts her head and whispers, "What?"

I shake my head, "No, Erin. I can't. I'm busy."

Jamie hears the name, rolls her eyes then gets back to looking at clothes, "Please? I won't try anything."

"I know you wont because I'm not coming so forget it." I hang up in her face only to have her call right back. I don't answer.

Jamie scoffs, "What's her problem? She's turning into a stalker, like, for real. I hope she doesn't think this whole desperate act is cute because it's not."

I laugh, "I don't know what's up with her. Whatever it is, though, she can get over it."

"Seriously, before Spencer opens up a can of whup ass on her," I laugh and she continues talking, "Don't underestimate your girl. She looks like the quiet type that knows one hundred and twenty ways to kill you in under a minute."

I start cracking up. That's great. I could never see Spencer do anything harmful to anyone else. It's just not Spence. Not _my_ Spence, at least. "Whatever, Jaim, it's all in your pretty little head."

"Fine, don't take my word for it. But when Erin gets on her last nerve... tell me about it."

I roll my eyes and as I do my phone begins to vibrate again. Please don't let it be—Spencer. It's Spencer. She's calling. I thought it was Erin. "Speaking of the Kung-Fu princess..." I say to Jamie then pick up my phone, "Hey, baby."

"Hey, honey." she says all sweet-like, "What are you doing?"

"Nothing really. At the mall with Jamie. She's trying to get the best out of the last days of summer."

Spencer laughs at the end of the line, "Sounds like Jamie to me. Are you buying anything?"

Jamie starts walking and so do I, "Nope, why? Want me to?"

"No, no, no. I was just asking if you were. For you. Not me." Spencer says quickly.

I smile faintly, "Well, do you want anything?"

"Nope. Not at all. I got everything I want at the moment."

I smile big, thinking that she's talking about me, "Hmm, am I included?"

"Um," she hesitates, "I guess so."

"Hey now!" I say laughing, "Well, fine. I wonder who you're gonna get a ride home from school with tomorrow. Sure isn't gonna be me."

"Maybe I'll catch a ride with Kyla. Or Madison. Or," she gasps, "Erin." sarcasm.

"Oh! Speaking of Erin, guess who called me today for like the hundredth time?"

Spencer growls lowly, "What did she say this time?"

"She asked if I could meet her right now. I said hell no, of course." I yawn but I still talk, "I don't know what's so hard to understand about 'No, I don't want you'. I really don't."

Spencer sighs, "Just don't worry about her. She's not worth it. Just think about me."

"Always. That's never a problem." I say smiling.

Jamie turns and looks at me. She mocks me by making a goofy look. I smack her on the forehead and she goes back to looking for something to wear.

Spencer was saying something but I wasn't paying attention, "...sound good?" she asks.

"Sorry, sweetheart, I wasn't listening. Jamie's being an ass. What was that?"

"I asked if you wanted me to stop by after you came from the mall with Jamie. That sound good?"

I scoff, "Psh, would I ever say no?"

Spencer giggles, "I don't think so. So I'll take that as a yes."

"No, take that as a 'Hells yeah.'" I joke with her.

She giggles again, "Okay, okay. Is your mom gonna be home?" she asks.

"Nope. Why?" I ask. It never matters to me but she seems to always want to know if she's gonna be there.

"Well, I don't know. I don't want your mom to be in the house while I'm hanging out with you. It'd just be weird."

"Why weird? I mean it's not like we have to be a secret with her around. Apparently, she knows about her flaming daughter and her daughter's cute girlfriend from across the street, right?"

Spencer laughs, "Yeah, you're right but... I don't know. I don't want her to walk in on anything, you know?"

"Walk in on what exactly?" I ask trying to make Spencer all red and flushed even though I can't see it at this very moment.

"I don't know. What if we're kissing... or something?"

"She's walked in on us kissing before," and I'll have you know it wasn't that awkward. Because unlike with a heterosexual relationship she didn't have to remind us about condoms or something. Not that it got that far. "What's something?"

Spencer clears her throat, "I don't know. What if we weren't wearing any _clothes_?" she says clothes quieter than the rest of her words.

I smirk evilly, "And why wouldn't we be wearing clothes?"

She sighs, "Just—shut up. You know what I'm saying."

I laugh, "I know. I know. You're saying you want me, right?"

"So what if I do?" she says talking lowly. Sounds really cute, still.

I raise my eyebrows and shake my head as Jamie holds a bathing suit top up to her chest. Meaning that I think that's a no go. "Really now? If that's the case then I'll be over there in less than a minute."

She laughs.

"You're blushing, right?" I ask knowing my Spency-boo better than anyone else.

"Shut up. You don't know me."

I scoff, "You wish I didn't."

"You're absolutely right."

"Whatever, jerk." I say watching Jamie search frantically for the bathing suit bottom to match her top. She's gonna get the one I said no to. Apparently, I don't have style if I don't like what she likes. Its been like this ever since we met. Odd thing is: she's usually right. The things I don't like wind up being the next best thing on the cover of those damn teen magazines.

"I'm just kidding, Ash, you know I… you know that." Spencer trips over her words. I have a pretty good clue about what she was gonna say next but that gets me a bit frightened just thinking about the L word. Not lesbian the other. Love. I feel like I can't just toss that word around anymore, I mean obviously I tossed it in Erin's direction and look where it's gotten me with that psycho.

"How do I know that?" I ask.

"You just do." I hear someone in her background. I can hear them perfectly clear like they're right on top of her. It's a boy. He asked her if she could help him put up a banner. She's at school... on a Sunday. Usually, that would seem kinda weird to me but she is a cheerleader, they do a lot of extra activities. She's getting the school ready for homecoming. It's a month away but our school takes that crap pretty damn serious. "Hey, Ash, I gotta--"

"Go?" I ask.

"Yeah, sorry, I need to finish this stuff for homecoming or I'll get murdered." she says... she's probably not joking.

I smile, "Okay, I don't want you to die just yet. I still need you for a bit longer."

She scoffs, "Damn right you need me."

I roll my eyes and I toss a scoff right back at her, "Yeah, whatever you know it's the other way around, too. But I'm gonna let you go. Jamie's gonna start bitchin at me soon about helping her with the pointless thing."

"Alright. See you later?" she chuckles lowly.

"Mhmm, most definitely. I'll call you when I'm on my way home."

"Fine with me. Text you in the meantime."

"Good. Bye, baby." I say.

"Bye, Ash." she says then hangs up the phone.

I close my sidekick, put it in my back pocket then look at Jamie, "Are you done yet?"

"Ugh, no and that's because you're not even helping me. You've been on the phone the whole time talking with your Spencer bear." she says rolling her eyes.

"Hey, don't get jealous because you want me and Spencer got to me before you did. Suck it up."

She rolls her eyes with a smile, "Whatever. Does this look good?"

It's a two-piece bikini. It's black with light blue anchors all over the top. The bottom just has two little anchors on the hips. Cute. "Yeah, I like it, do you?"

"Yeah," she smiles as she looks at it, "It's cute."

"Alright, see? We're done now, right?" I ask. I don't really like shopping unless it's for myself. But even then I don't spend hours in the mall, I already know what I want so it only takes a split second.

"Yeah, I guess so. If you woulda helped me earlier we wouldn't still be here, now would we?"

"No, ma'am." I say looking away from her and where the cash register is. "Shit!" I say out loud and duck behind Jamie.

"What?" she says looking around.

I grab her hips while I crouch, "Don't move."

"Why?" she asks doing as I told her.

"Look over to the cash register." I tell her.

"What? I don't see—oh, shit." she speaks slowly as she notices who I saw, Spencer's mom. Mrs. Carlin. How odd, right? She gives me the chills. A week ago, we switched it up and went over to Spencer's house to chill, instead of mine, and her mom came in on us. It's not like we were doing anything, seriously. We were sitting on opposite sides on the couch, looking at the TV. The only thing we were guilty of was getting ready to cuddle.

So, anyway her mom walks in the door. Looks at Spencer then looks at me. Back to Spencer then to me again. Spencer, then me. Honestly, I counted how many times she would look between the two of us. Five times, actually. Then she smiled and walked upstairs, I thought it was over then but no. every ten minutes she'd either call downstairs for Spencer or she'd walk downstairs herself when Spencer didn't answer. She was totally watching us.

As it turns out, she's heard stuff about me. My _perversion_. Her mom doesn't like me at all so I'm sure she wouldn't want her dating me. Spencer owes me some money, we totally bet on something like this, remember?

"Is she gone, yet?" I ask.

"Mm, nope. Looks likes she's actually buying something."

"Like what?" I ask.

"Um," Jaime moves and I move every step with her, "Looks like a cute hoodie. The Volcom one I was looking at earlier. Nice tasty, MILF."


	27. Chapter 27

Mrs. Carlin disappears from the store so I reveal myself from behind the scandalous articles of clothes, "No MILF. She's straight from hell."

Jaime smiles, "You can't blame her, I mean you are the corruption that corrupted the perfect Spencer Carlin."

I roll my eyes, "It was meant to be if she was hanging out with the cheer bitches. This is far better than sleeping around with every dude on the basketball, soccer, hokey, lacrosse and maybe even the chess team."

Jaime laughs, "You aren't bitter at all about that."

I shrug, "Cheerleaders suck."

Jaime tilts her head to the left a little bit, "I hope you are aware that Spencer is still a cheerleader, right?"

I scoff, "Yeah, but she doesn't count. Come on, Jam, keep up with me."

She shakes her head, "Whatever. Let's go check out." Then she walks to the register where Ashley sees a somewhat familiar face.

I think I know this girl but not really. Like, I feel like I should know her... but I don't. Brown hair, light brown eyes, short, probably at least five foot two but I don't know.

"Hello, ready to check out?" the girl asks. Well, I guess I don't know her, her name tag "Carmen" and her voice doesn't ring a bell. I didn't sleep with her so, yes!

Jaime turns her charm on this girl, in case she's gay to get some type of discount I'm sure, "Yes, I am." she tosses her stuff on the counter while flashing her false smile. I gotta admit... she's damn good at it.

The girl begins to scan the merchandise and she makes conversation, "So, I haven't seen you guys at the Pit in a while actually."

"Wait," I say thinking and remembering about where I had seen her. It was the Pit, "You've seen my play before?"

The girls looks at me and smiles, "Yeah, I have. You're really good. I've seen you a number of times. Why don't you do it for a living?"

I shake my head and smile, "Because."

Carmen smirks, "Yes?"

"I just couldn't. I don't think anyone would pay me much attention." I say to her honestly. No one would sit and watch me on stage for hours at a time if they had a choice. I mean, shoot, me or Megan Fox in _Jennifer's Body_ for an hour and a half? You be the judge of that one. I mean, hell, I'd choose Megan over me...

"I'm sure that's where you're wrong. You demand attention... your stage presence is undeniable." She says overexcited, "Sorry, you're just really good and you have great vocals. And you're hot."

She called me hot. Whoa, Carmen, let's not get too ahead of ourselves. You are not my type at the moment. I'm more interested in a blonde hair, blue eyed cheer-cutie. I laugh, "Thanks, for the compliments."

She blushes then continues scanning everything, "No problem. Got to give credit where it's due."

Jaime looks at me and smiles then starts to whisper in my air, "Looks like you have a fan base. At least she's not worse than crazy ass Erin." She looks back to Carmen and smiles.

I roll my eyes, "Well, it was nice talking to you, Carmen."

"You, too." she says smiling. I can't help but feel that she's flirting with me. All in my head, hopefully. She interrupts my thoughts, "Hey, what school do you go to?" She folds Jaime clothes and puts them in a bag.

"King High." I say with a little uneasiness. What if she starts to stalk me?

She nods, "I've been going to your school all year without knowing it." she says.

She is totally stalking me. Jaime looks at me with this humongous know-it-all smile on her face. Then she mouths "Crazy girl." to me.

I smile even though I'm extremely uncomfortable, "Alright, I'll see you then." I wave as I walk out of the store.

That was the creepiest thing in the fucking world.

Just as I exhale, I get a phone call. I roll my eyes and answer it, "What, Erin? What?" bet you cant guess who?

More bullshit.

She stutters as she speaks, "L-listen I just wanted to talk."

I sigh, "About what? Getting back together with me? Telling me how much you love me""

She doesn't talk for a minute.

"Hello?" I say aggitated.

"I just wanted to talk, like, as your friend but I can tell you aren't in a good mood so never mind, alright? Never mind. I guess if we can't be together then I can't even be your fucking friend."

I scoff, "Don't play the nice girl shit with me, alright? You're the same girl that practically tries to kill my girlfriend everyday at practice." I smile.

"You know what? I cant ever change in your eyes can I? If I wanted to become this great person just to not have everyone hate me I guess I have to be doing it to get something," she sighs, "Maybe I just almost died and wanted the ones that I've always cared for to comfort me because thank god I am on this earth. But no. I wouldn't get that right?"

I can't comprehend this right now. It's weird.

"No? I'll talk to you whenever you feel like it." I can hear her voice breaking on the other end of the phone, "I'm not chasing you anymore to be with me. I'm not chasing you to be my friend either. That should be up to you. I'm tired of losing things. I'm tired of fucking up. I'm just tired. Bye." Erin hangs up in my face.

I can't even process what just happened. She hung up on me. ON ME. Not the other way around. I feel like shit right about now.

What the fuck? I need Spencer.

**So I'm getting back into the swing of things.**

**I think this chapter is a bit odd.**

**Don't worry, I'm stilling thinking about where this is all going.**

**Hmm...**

**You tell me. **


	28. Chapter 28

"And I don't know what happened after that. She just hung up on me. Me." I emphasize how odd that is to Spencer as she lays next to me on my bed.

These are the moments that are like my therapy sessions but they're free and with someone I'll actually talk to.

Spencer stares up at the ceiling as she plays with my fingers. Hers are so small compared to mine. I feel like Goliath. Fee Fi Foe Fum!

"...Ashley. Ashley!" Spencer screams my name and I snap back into her voice.

I wasn't listening. I should probably start working on that, right?

Spencer lets my fingers go and sits up on her elbows to look at me. I make eye contact with her, "Let me guess: you tuned me out?"

She knows me so well. And with a smile I let her know she's right, "You're just so cute. I was thinking about how small your fingers are. I have like behemoth fingers compared to your elf like ones."

Spencer rolls her eyes at me then resumes the position she was in before I tuned her out but this time she nestles in the crook of my neck and I love it. "You listening to me?" she says as she taps my stomach playfully.

I twitch a little from her harmless twitch while chuckling, "Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry, what'd you say?"

"I said..." she pauses, "that maybe she honestly needs you. Maybe something happen that put her on the right track. The track that made her understand that you are mine."

I smile because Spence is being all protective but then again I feel like an asshole. "So, what are you saying I should do? Talk to her?"

Spencer sighs. She rolls over on me so our bodies are directly on top of each other. Her left hand is in my hair and her right one is resting on my shoulder, "Yeah. At this point it couldn't hurt to try." she smirks, "Unless she's just decided to kill you because she can't have you."

I scowl at her, "Ha. Funny. You know you wouldn't be able to survive if I died." I kiss her on the tip of her nose then lay my head back down as I smile.

She smiles big, "You'd think so wouldn't you? You haven't given me anything to miss if you died." she says propping her head up with her right hand. She's looking to the left and up at the ceiling meaning she's trying to play hard to get. This is my cue.

I plant another kiss on her but this time on her timeless lips, "Nothing to miss me for?"

She shakes her head from left to right, "Nope." simply said.

I smile, "I guess I have to give you something then, right?"

She looks back to me, "I guess, but what is the question?"

Spencer's being so coy right now. It's highly attractive. I stare in her eyes as I lick my lips.

She puts on a devilish smirk, "You gonna do something with that?"

Green light. Thank you, Spencie-boo.

I roll Spencer to the left of me and now I'm on top of her, "This is your last chance for any resistance." I say straddling her.

"Hmm..." she hums then looks around the room then finally back to my eyes. Damn, I love those blue lights called her eyes, "Nope."

"You think you can handle all this," I huff my chest up, "Womanliness? There's so much and you're such a--"

She cuts me off by pulling my lips down to hers. You can bet that shut me up. Right the hell up. I've never seen this side of Spence before. It's hot.

She kisses me with such passion and I wouldn't have expected such a thing considering the conversation we just had about my ex. Spencer definitely surprises me.

The kisses start off light then get more intense and hungry like she really wants me. As the kisses go on her hands caress my lower back very slowly, "Mm." she hums. Or moans, whatever, the sound just enthralls me because I must be doing something right.

My hands find their experienced under her shirt around her navel area and I can't help but ravish her neck with my mouth. She throws her head back and a sexy little smile creeps across her lips. "Ash." she says my name so softly but I can tell that it means so much to her.

I place light mini kisses on her neck then to her collar as she closes her eyes. I slowly make my way down to where my hands have found her tummy and I continue my kisses. I tug at both sides of her shirt then pull it up toward her face and she knows where this is going because she lifts her arms up. After I rip the shirt off over her head I get lost in her baby blues.

"What?" she says as a whisper, "Something wrong?"

I shake my head in silence with a smile plastered on my face, "No. Nothing."

She tilts her head to the right then wraps her arms around my neck to pull me into her, "Good." she starts to ravish my lips again.

I let her. I mean, who ever knew she could be so dominating?

I close my eyes and let my tongue do it's magic. She starts to grind into me and I guess this means that things should escalate a little further.

I reach one hand down to her belt and begin to undo it and she grabs my hand, "Ash."

I look into her eyes as my hand stops its adventure, "Spence."

She stares at me for a few seconds before saying anything, "I think we need to stop."

Well, it was good while it was going. This only makes me want her more. I get off of her and sit next to her with my legs Indian style.

She sits up next to me but she hugs her legs, "You're not mad are you?" she says like a tiny child.

I smile and shake my head, "Course not, baby." How could I be pissed? That was amazing.

She sighs and looks at her knees, "I just don't think I'm--"

I put my hand on her knee, "Look," she looks up at me, "Baby, it's fine. I promise. I understand."

She gives me a weak smile, "Okay."

That wasn't good enough, "Hey, I don't care. We could stare into each others eyes until the end of time and I'd be completely happy."

She smiles at me, "Okay." she says happier this time.

I squeeze her hand before I hop out of the bed, "Alright, well I'm gonna call Erin and see what's going on. And I guess I need to drop you off at your house so you can have din-din with the family."

She stands up, "Well, you know you can come with me..."

I laugh, "I'd rather not. I'll let you have all the fun, though." She sighs playfully so I walk over to her and kiss her on the forehead, "But I do wish that we could be spending more time together, babe. I'd rather be hanging around you than with the ex."

She pouts, "You promise?"

I lift my hand up, "Scout's honor."

She smacks my hand down, "You were never a Boy Scout, Ash."

"Oh," I shrug, "I must have myself confused with someone else." I smirk.

She pinches my cheeks, "You can be so cute." she pulls my face towards hers and kisses me.

I kiss her then back away, "Don't start nothing you can't finish, Ms. Carlin." I smile then walk outta the room and down the stairs to get my keys and phone. I left it downstairs because I didn't want any interruptions to occur. I think Spence and I have a target on us that let's people know that we don't wanna be bothered... so they bother us anyways. Ain't life just grand.

Spencer comes downstairs with everything in hand and we meet up at the front door. "I really don't wanna go." she says to me.

"And I really don't want you to but you're trying to make me into a better person so... it's all your fault." I'm just kidding with her.

"Oh, I am?" she tilts her head to the side, "I like bad girls." and with that said she pushes me up against the door and kisses me roughly.

I place my hands on her hips but she backs away quickly, "What?" I ask so confused.

"You're not a bad girl anymore so I guess this will never work." she smiles deviously.

I laugh, "What is going on in that head of yours, Spencer? You are unusually confident but I like it." I try to give her a kiss again but she manuevers around me and opens the door.

"I'll see you later, mkay? Text me, babe. She kisses me on the cheek then walks out the door."

I stare at her as she walks away.

She's going crazy. First, that whole display of sexpot up in my room and then she went all cute and pouty and just now with the whole bad girl thing. I don't know what she's doing but it's making me mad... in all the right ways.

I sigh.

I have to call Erin. Damn you, Spence, if I'm a horrible person I hope to stay that way...


	29. Chapter 29

**This is Long Overdue.**

**Enjoi.**

* * *

Here I am.

Sitting here, just sitting here.

Not calling Erin. I mean I'm kind of curious as to what to do or what to say. Yes, yes, Ashley's a little frightened. Not of the girl but of the situation that could unfold at any moment.

I texted Spencer after she left and told her to walk safely across the street because, let's face it, she's clumsy as shit. Yeah, she's my girlfriend but I mean she is clumsy. End of story.

She texted me back just now saying **"Har Har. Verrry funny. U call Erin, yet? Xoxo"**

Nope. I don't plan on getting into a bitch argument again, **"about that…um, no. =)" **I reply back to her in a cute manner. She can't possibly be mad at me. I mean—Oops, text.

"**Call her and get it over w. I don't want u to still b thinkin about it wen I come over in a couple hours. Ash. Now. Or I won't come bak. Not lying. Text or call wen ur done. Byeeee. Xoxo"**

Damn. Spencer's leaving me alone for something I did not do. I guess I'd better be doing it then.

"Ugh!" I scream only to myself. Why can't fucking Erin just poof?

"Because that would make life too fucking easy for you, wouldn't it? And we wouldn't want a drama free Ashley." Kyla says standing next to me. I guess she's been in my cranium. I didn't even hear her walk in.

I look at Kyla and narrow my eyes at her, "Stay out of my head unless you're invited."

She sits in the stool next to me, "Fine. But you still have to call her. She's expecting a call from you."

I stare at Kyla with my mouth agape, "How do you know? You still talk to her?"

Kyla shrugs, "She texted me recently. Saying she missed us." That's funny. Same thing she said to me, "I know that's the same thing she said to you. But she didn't mean it that way, I'm hoping she meant it more friendly. I mean, I don't have sex with my friends."

I slant my head slightly, "Funny. And I guess that was a shot at me because I prefer to get the sex out of the way. It's been working." I wiggle my eyebrows.

I can feel a pang of anger coming from her. What's up with that? "Did you do anything with Spencer?"

I nod, "I do tons of things with Spencer. She's my girlfriend. My old ball and chain. My significant other. My old lady. Why wouldn't I?"

I feel a parent moment coming on, "Did you sleep with her, Ash?" she asks. I've never seen her look so serious.

"No. We haven't. Why? What's so wrong with that?" I ask concerned.

Kyla shakes her head, "There's nothing wrong with that."

"Well, why are you freaking out?" Incest is against the law.

"Ew. I'm staying out of your head." She sighs, "I just feel protective over Spencer."

I roll my eyes, "And I'm a horrible person so I'm going to corrupt Spencer." I do believe we've already gone over this. I'm bad, she's not. Simple, I'm over it.

Kyla scoffs, "That's not even what I was getting at. Play the victim much?"

I shrug. Well, that's always the problem.

"I just don't want her to be doing anything she might regret again…" Kyla says searching my eyes to see if I have any idea of what she's talking about.

"You mean…" I stop to make sure I word the next part right, "You mean how she had sex with that guy and regretted it?"

Kyla nods, "Yeah. I don't want her jumping into anything like that so soon. I know you're her girlfriend and she's sure about dating you and I do not doubt that but, I just know how it is."

Yeah, I know Ky. She doesn't have the best luck with good guys. That's why she should date girls. "I know," I say in a whisper looking down at the countertop. I guess right now is confession time. I look up at Kyla, "I don't think that way with Spencer. I mean," I lick my lips before continuing. Whatever I say right now has never left my lips before. Not even when I thought I was so head over heels for Erin. "I don't think about having sex with her. I just think about being with her. Anywhere and everywhere. I find myself wondering if she feels the same or if she's thinking about me as much as I'm thinking about her. I feel kind if pathetic honestly when I think about it but when I'm with her I couldn't be happier." I gulp and stare into Ky's eyes hoping she doesn't think I'm a pussy or nothing like that, "I don't think I can be without her now that she's in my life…"

Kyla stares at me as a smile creeps across her face, "That's really sweet."

I shrug and look away from her. I can't believe that I just spilled my guts out. The odd thing is, though, is that I didn't know I felt that way until just now. None of it was a lie, I'm serious. "Yeah, well…"

"Ashley. I'm sure she feels the exact same way about you. Every time I'm with her she talks about you." Kyla chuckles, "It's cute but sickening, really."

That makes me soar, seriously. Atleast I'm not the only one feeling the love—uh—no, not again. I stand up and stretch, "Alright, I'm gonna go ahead and call Erin and have her plead to me some more."

Kyla smiles and shakes her head, "Good luck," she stands as well, "I'm gonna go do some homework." She starts walking away.

"Nerd." I whisper.

I watch the sun go down as she continues talking on the other end of the phone. Hasn't been a bad conversation, she's just been talking about random things. We've been on the phone for about an hour and I'd hate to jinx myself but I'm kind of enjoying it.

I wonder if Spencer's done with dinner, yet.

"Ashley…" She says my name seriously.

I snap back to the sound of her voice, "Yeah, Erin?"

She sighs before she continues, "Thanks for talking to me. It means a lot. I mean, after everything that I've done to you…"

I shrug, "It's not okay but we can make it okay with time, I guess. As long as you don't revert back to your bitch ways." I smile.

She laughs, "Whatever keeps you in my life…"

Silence.

"I don't mind being in your life if you're nice to me. And my girlfriend." I say a bit harshly but it wasn't like mean, was it? Because I'm really not trying to be. I just want to be up front.

"I got it." She says rather quickly if I might comment. There has to be more to it than just that, "But of course it's going to be hard for me to see you with someone else. Especially when I kind of have to look at her everyday on the cheer squad with me. It's hard knowing someone else makes you happier than I ever did…"

"Erin…" That's not even the way it was, "You gave up that chance you had with me. I never said you didn't make me extremely happy because you did. I had a great time with you. I mean think about it. I was never in a monogamous relationship until you came along. I had to see something in order for me to jump off the buffet and onto a four course meal."

She laughs again and I kind of missed that part of her, "It feels nice to hear that. I know I broke your heart and every second I wish that I could take that back but if I did then you wouldn't have found Spencer. You wouldn't be as happy as you are now."

"True." Is all I can manage to say because, come on, I'm not going to lie. She fucked up and she's dealing with the consequences. I respect her for that decision.

"But if things don't work out and you ever want to give us another try then, call me."

I chuckle a little bit. I know it was meant as a joke but I also know that she was completely serious. I'm glad that we can joke about it, "Right, don't hold your breath, Cheerio's."

"I earned my old nickname back, I must be doing something right." Erin says.

I used to call her that when we were together. I guess it just slipped. Don't think anything of it, I don't.

I have another call.

"Hey, I'll text you, okay?" I probably will.

"Are you sure?" she asks hesitantly.

I nod even though she can't see, "I will. Promise." She knows that I'll never break a promise to her or anyone else for that matter.

"Okay, bye, text me. Really." She says before hanging up.

She's growing on me. Again.

"Hello?" I say into the phone.

"Hi." The voice says sweetly and short.

"Yes?" I say.

She scoffs, "Is that the way to talk to me?"

I smile, "Spence, I'll talk to you anyway you want me to. You like dirty talk?"

"Oh my god, "She says before bursting with laughter, "Shut up, perv."

I shrug and remain smiling, "You love it.

"Uh huh, sure," her laughter calms a bit, "What are you doing?"

"Thinking about a certain blonde hair, blue eyes goddess," that's always.

"Where are you?" she asks with a tad bit of concern in her voice.

I clear my throat, "At the park. Watching the sunset. It's beautiful."

"Just like you." She says quietly and I think I just blushed. She continues, "Do you want to come over later? After you're done? The parental devices are going out of town for doctor stuff and I want you to stay the night with me at my house rather than yours. Bed's so comfortable."

I stand up from off the grass and start to pat myself down to get all the stray pieces of glass off of me, "Spencer Carlin. Are you trying to get me to sleep with you? I mean this isn't the most romantic approach but I'm easy so you know I'm there." I start walking in the direction of Spencer's. Which is not that far from the park.

She giggles, "Yes, Ashley. That's exactly what I'm trying to do. I bought some lingerie just for you, actually."

Holy Shit. Her voice went all seductive on the last part.

"You can bet that I'll be there as soon as possible." And that was no lie.

She laughs, "Hurry up before I change my mind." She hung up.

Spencer Carlin hung up on me.

How dare she?

I'm shocked.

I'm appalled.

I'm gonna go get some.

* * *

**I more than agree with Ashley. haha.**


	30. Chapter 30

**Don't hate me.**

**I love you guys and that's why I'm back.**

**Enjoi.**

As I walk up to the house I notice that Mrs. Carlin's car is gone. This is a good sign, no overbearing mother to hover over me while I have sin filled thoughts about her offspring. That'd just be awkward for her... not me. I don't have a conscience, remember?

I knock on the front door a few times before I hear my loveliness yell down to me to wait a second. I'm waiting sweetie, trust me.

She opens the door in her scantly clad shorts and tanktop. Really, Spen? Really?! Make me want you more

"...Ash!" she screams at me.

Oops, my mouth's open, "Sorry," I close it quick then try to regain my composure, "Seeing your girlfriend half naked may cause loss of jaw muscles."

She smiles as a hint of pink touches her cheeks, "Shut up and get in here."

I smirk that famous Ashley smirk I got going on and walk inside. She shuts the door behind me and while doing so she stands unusually close to me. She smells good.

Really good.

Like she should be a flower.

She gives me a quick peck on the lips then backs off real fast, "Wanna go upstairs?" She asks me.

I wiggly my eyebrows suggestively, "Maybe."

She smacks me on the arm then begins to ascend up the stairs. Hold on. I just gotta watch her walk up for a second.

Okay, done.

I follow behind her until we get to her room. I shut the door behind me as she sits on the bed. Laying on her stomach while she finishes up some things on her laptop, I guess. I'm not a mind reader or anything but I'm pretty observant.

I walk over and sit next to her, "What you doing?" I lean over her back with my right arm to look at the screen.

"Checking my Myspace and Facebook," she says cheerfully. Ick, almost like a cheerleader.

"That's, like, awesome!" I say rolling my eyes and looking around her room.

"Shut up, don't make fun of me," she says not looking away from the screen but I know she's smiling as usual.

Her room's kind of simple compared to mine. Faint yellow walls with light blue baseboards. Nice. There's only one picture in her room and it's of her friends from home or camp. I can't tell because I don't see Kyla in it.

"...Why don't you ever listen to me when I talk, Ash? Hmm? Am I not interesting enough for you?" she says.

I place my focus back on her and she has closed her laptop and put it away. And she somehow managed to flip over on her back so her hair is splayed all over the bed. "Oh, no. Spen, you're very interesting. Trust me."

She turns up the corners of her mouth, "How come I feel like that's supposed to be a dirt joke?"

I shake my head, "No, no. It's pure truth. Goodness, what kind of girl do you take me for?"

She just stares at me intensely with her baby blues.

"Okay, I am that girl you think I am."

She overflows with laughter, "You're so funny. You can always make me laugh."

"That's what I'm here for... among other things," I wink.

"Whatever," she says as she slides from beneath my arm then sits with her knees up as she rubs on my arm slowly, "So how'd it go with Erin?"

Should I tell her it went fine or do I say it was hell?

I shrug, "It was alright. She didn't go crazy on me. She didn't talk bad about you. She seemed sane."

Spencer narrows her eyes at me.

"What?" I ask, "What'd I do?"

She shakes her head, "Nothing, just don't trust her, that's all."

I smile big, "Aw, you getting jealous?"

Spencer rolls her eyes and looks away from me. Seriously.

"Baby," I grab the bottom of her chin and point her face in my direction gently, "Don't be. You're my favorite girl. Hands down."

Spencer's eyes light up and that's when I know I'm saying all the right things. Funny thing about it is: I mean it, "Really?"

I nod once, "Yeah, hell, yeah. No one holds a candle to you, sweets."

There's that blush I love so much, "Promise?"

I look from her eyes to her mouth as she does the same to me, "Mhm. Wanna kiss on it?" I say almost in a whisper.

She nods then whispers, "Definitely."

Give me the green light.

I delicately kiss her on the lips. Man, her lips taste so fantastic. Little clouds of heaven if your really must know.

We back up a bit from each other but it's really not that much at all, "Can we do that again?" I ask confident that she's gonna say yes.

"Yes," she whispers before leaning in to kiss me. This time it's a bit less delicate and a lot more hungry. She rubs her tongue against my top lip. I guess that was a sign of her asking if we could let things escalate...

Hell, yeah. I'd be a fool to say no.

I smile into the kiss and I open my mouth to allow her tongue entrance. There's a dance that's happening, it's hot and seductive so it must be the salsa. I can be a Latina for a day, can't I? At least give me a few moments.

I mount myself on all fours as I subtly make her lay down on her back, the whole time not breaking our little dance. I'm completely over her now and I feel her hands on the back of my neck, pulling me into her and the other is on my lower back. Um, I don't know if she knows this but the back of my neck is my spot. Like, THE spot. Just saying.

"Ashley," she says into my ear sounding out of breath.

I stop attacking her mouth and look her in the eyes, "Spencer."

She smiles, "No one holds a candle to me."

Cocky much?

I smirk and nod, "Yep, no one," I lean down so I'm on the right side of her ear, "_Sweet, darlin', these are my confessions to the crimes of wanting you, badly,"_ I whisper slowly then kiss on the side of her mouth. I lean up to look into her eyes but their closed. "Spen?" I say in a whisper.

Her eyes slowly open with a goofy smile gracing her lips, "Hm?"

"You okay?" I ask slowly but with a smirk still.

What's that? Do I see a glint of the devil in her eyes? Is there a fire dancing in those baby blues?

She nods then grabs my neck to pull me into a kiss. It's fast, it's quick but, so amazing. After she releases me she whispers, "_Better with you."_

And that sends chills up my spine. Now, I can't help myself.

I latch my lips back onto hers and run my fingers through her hair. I think she might use Herbal Essences because, damn, her hair is soft.

Her small hands begin to play with the fabric at the bottom of my shirt and I slowly feel it inching it's way up toward my torso. This little devil is trying to take my shirt off. Go, Spen, go, Spen, be a heathen.

As she's doing this I start to breathe a little bit faster and she notices I'm sure but this only fuels her fire because she attacks my lips more forcibly. She stops her plan to take off my shirt because she's found my bra. One hundred dollars, thank you very much. Victoria never kept a secret as lovely as mine, I'm more than sure.

Her thumbs graze the material as my thumbs find their way into her belt loops. Don't get scared, Spence, I don't plan on going any further south. Unless you're down for the road trip that is.

"Spencer!" a voice yells from on the other side of the door.

We freeze and make eye contact, "_Fuck me_!" Spencer and I whisper at the exact same time.

"_My mom's here_ ." Spencer whispers.

"_I thought she was gone_ ." I whisper back to her.

Bullshit!

**A head's up: it's Paula.**

**And she brought someone with her.**

**Betcha can't guess who.**


	31. Chapter 31

After we hear her voice ring through our ears Spencer un-wedges herself from in between the bed and my sweaty body. "Why?" she mouths to me, "Why right now?" she says in a whisper.

I stand up in front of her and grip her face, "I don't know. I really don't but," I look around the bed then grab my shirt that's hanging off the edge of it then I look back to Spencer, "I'm gonna go fix myself in the bathroom as I hide from your mom." I try to make a dash for the bathroom but Spencer grabs my hand. I look back to her and she's giving me the sweetest smile every. It gave me a toothache, honestly.

She pulls on my hand, "Kiss me before I'm forced to be faced with my mother after such an intense moment."

I smirk, I like the way she thinks. I lean in to kiss her and I let my lips linger on hers for just a little while longer than I should considering her mother is on the other side of the door. I look into her eyes, "How's that?" I ask still holding onto her hand.

"Better than words." She whispers as she stares at my lips then up to my eyes, "Better than chocolate."

"That's an amazing movie," I smile at her.

The bedroom door begins to rattle. I wink at her then run into the bathroom with quickness. I don't slam the door but I close the gap so I can hide from crazy Catholic mom.

I look at myself in the mirror. How in the hell did I get so into the moment? So into Spencer?

I peek through the crack in the door after I put on my shirt. There she is Paula in all her glory and—wait. There's some blonde haired girl next to her. Who the fuck is that and why is Spencer hugging her like they got chemistry? Maybe I should actually listen in.

"Oh my god, I haven't seen you in so long. I missed you, Spinner babe," the blonde hair girl says to Spencer as they embrace. After their hug this little bitch keeps her hand on Spencer's sides. What the fuck? Get your hands away from my girlfriend or I will have an aneurism. And what the hell is up with the Spinner Babe crap? Spencer never mentioned an ex.

Spencer's looks at me then back at the girl as she smiles and backs away sweetly, "I know, DEBBIE, I haven't seen you in forever, how have you been?" she asks.

OMG. It's that slutty girl that hits on her brother. Fuck, Kyla better watch out for her. Whew, thank god I don't have to worry. Happy dance, she's straight haha—fuck.

"Spencer, what was that?" Paula asks.

That was actually me kicking the door as I was doing my happy dance. Screw up for life, yep, yep.

"Um, I didn't hear anything, mom, I think you're going crazy in your old age." Spencer says hesitantly. That's my girl, lying to your mother. I've taught her so well. Aw.

The door flies up and it reveals myself to them.

"Ashley?" Paula says unenthusiastically.

"Ashley?" Spencer says right after her mother but not the same way her mother clenched her teeth when she said it. Spencer definitely sounds way cuter. Definitely.

The Debbie girl is looking me up and down, freak. What the hell is her problem? We can definitely solve it right about now, trust me, one swift kick to the jugular and you are out like a light you little—"Ashley, what are you doing here?" Paula asks me.

I run my hands over my shirt to straighten it out a little bit. Actually, you know, I could ask her the same exact thing. Aren't you supposed to be out of town or something you old broad? "Uh—"

Spencer jumps in to save the day, "She was freshening up. She just got back from a run in the park and she locked herself out of her house."

I'm smiling largely on the inside, know why? A) Spencer is a very good liar and that'll come in handy when her mother starts to wonder about all of her random hickeys and B) She must think I have a good physique.

Paula smiles, "Oh, I guess that explains why you look so flushed. But—"

No more questions please, "Yeah, I'm an idiot. I do this all the time, it's a habit. Once I get into my running mood, I'm in it for a while." I say as I eye Spencer. She knows what I'm actually referring to.

Spencer clears her throat then looks away from me to her mother, "Aren't you supposed to be out of town right now, mom? Where's dad?"

"Well, I'm still going out of town but I had to go pick Debbie up from the airport first. I wanted to surprise you before I left." She says brightly like she did a damn good deed. How cute. Not. I wanna barf right now.

Debbie smiles at Paula. Fake smile, "Thanks, Mom."

"No problem, sweetie. Well, look," Paula claps her hands together, "I have to go. You're father's gonna beat me there and you guys know I'm competitive. Love you, Spencer and Debbie. Bye, Ashley." She says my name with a coldness.

Hate you too, Paula, you interrupted my nookie getting time with your daughter. Little do you know is that there will be more times like that to come. At least one of those times you won't be interrupting me now will you? You little, twat.

"…and this is Ashley. She lives across the street." I hear Spencer say to Debbie.

I snap back into reality. Her voice always gets me to come back to earth, "What?" I say.

"Spencer was introducing us but I see that you weren't paying much attention, yeah?" Debbie says laughing and smiling.

"Sorry," is all I can manage to say to this girl. I don't know how I feel about her just yet. Hm, just have to decipher her I guess.

"No biggie. I'm Debbie and you're Ashley," she says pointing to me then Spencer, "And that's Spencer. I think we're good on the names now, right?" She lies down on the bed with her back propped up against the backboard of Spencer's bed. Make yourself comfortable why don't you?

I think Spencer senses my uneasiness because she squeezes my hand for a split second before walking over and sitting next to her friend, "So, how'd you manage to keep this secret from me? You have the biggest mouth ever."

Debbie laughs and as she does Spencer motions with her hand for me to go over and sit next to her. Not the side Debbie is on, although I would like to just weasel my way in between the two of them. I'm a bitch like that, I guess.

I make my way over to the other side of Spencer. When I sit next to her she rests her hand on top of mine discreetly so her little pal can't see. This was your plan all along wasn't it, Ms. Carlin? She looks at me with her smiling eyes as she gives my hand a squeeze then looks back to Debbie.

"So, Debs," I stop myself, "You mind if I call you that?"

I look over to her and she shakes her head from right to left indicating no, "Nah."

"Alright, Debs, what do you wanna do? Like, what are you into? Let me welcome you to L. A. properly." I smile, gotta throw some charm her way.

"What am I into? Same things as Spencer I would guess but then again I'm far more exciting than she is, I think." She crinkles her nose at Spencer then says, "Just kidding." The weird thing is that after she looked at Spen she looked at me and winked.

Into the same things as Spencer, what does that mean? It can't possibly mean she's interested in girls because no one knows that Spencer is into me. Nah, I'm over analyzing. This girl does not want me.

Right?

Right?


	32. Chapter 32

So I've had the joy of chatting with Debbie and I've determined she's not that bad. She's also not an airhead like I thought she would've been, that's good. I usually hate dumb girls unless I'm getting, ahem, physical with them. But that Ashley is no more, right? I like the blonde whose thigh I'm groping way too much to destroy over a dummy tramp. She stated that it was kind of cold in her room so she pulled a blanket over us because she knew I was cold too. Clever girl. Ah, Spencer Carlin …Carlin. Wait, what the fuck is her middle name? Why don't I know this?

"Hey, Spence, what's your middle name?" I ask.

Spencer looks over to me and smiles, "Where'd that come from? Let me guess: you weren't listening to a word we were saying were you? God, I swear, Ashley, we could be telling you the meaning of life and you just wouldn't know because you're in your own little world."

I smirk and shrug, "I don't give two shits about the meaning of life. Living life is the key to the universe. So, seriously what's your middle name?" I ask again.

I look at Debbie and she's smiling and laughing really hard at what I said, "It's Ravine. Spencer Ravine Carlin."

Spencer looks at me because I guess my jaw dropped. I really wouldn't have expected that, it's so unusual, "What's the matter? You don't like my name?" she says.

I remove my hand from her thigh and hold both my hands up and shake them, "No! No, it's not that. I just pictured you as a Marie or a Jessica. Ravine just throws me off a little bit but, it's nice, and I like it."

"Good because I'm stuck with it," she giggles and god it sounds so heavenly.

"Just like I'm stuck with you," Debbie says standing up, "I think I'm going to help myself to your fridge, is that cool?" she asks Spencer but she's still staring at me.

I snap in her face, "Debs is talking to you."

She blinks, "Oh, um what? Yeah, go ahead, um—"

I cut Spencer off, I think she might need a little help, "If you don't find anything then I'll take you guys out for something. I'd just have to go to my house and get my car keys."

Debbie tilts her head, "I thought you locked yourself out."

Shit. "I did but I forgot that I have a spare key in the back of the house." Nice, save, Ashley! Yes!

"Oh, alright, that's fine. Who wouldn't want two hot dates?" Debbie says as she shimmies a little before leaving the room.

Spencer looks at me, "She wants you."

I laugh, "Spencer. She's not gay." I stroke her arm lightly to see if that'll chill her out a bit.

"Well, in all fairness I wasn't either until I met you, remember?" she smiles at me.

I nod, "That's the truth." I grab her chin and pull her close to my face, "And I'm okay with that."

She looks down at my lips, "I concur."

Our lips collide but Spencer pulls back quickly which is good because we could get caught. Damn, that makes everything far more exciting I'll have you know. Just because I'm not supposed to do something it makes me want to do it even more. Call me rebellious.

"Sorry, I just don't want Debbie to walk in on us and get pissed off when she sees me kissing her girl." Spencer whispers then smirks and winks at me when she whispers the last word.

I tilt my head to the side and narrow my eyes at her, "I'm not her girl. You got it all wrong. Unfortunately, you are stuck with me. You're the unhappy girlfriend."

Spencer shakes her head from side to side as she grabs on to my hand, "Unhappy girlfriend? You mistake me for someone else, Ash," she rubs the back of my hand with her thumb as she slowly leans in toward my lips, "I am the happiest camper right about now."

I bite her bottom lip then speak, "Just right now?" I whisper as I stare into her beautiful eyes.

She looks down to my lips, "Always."

That's what I like to hear. Wait, I don't usually like the sound of forever but coming from Spencer's mouth it sounds so damn sweet.

I finally kiss her and I cannot just steal one kiss from her. So, I let the second contact of our lips go on for more than ten seconds. I break away from her and I just have to say something, "I really like you." I think I said it pretty sincerely.

She smiles and it's one of those smiles where she smiles with her eyes as well, "I really like you, too. You really make me happy. You make me smile so big. I laugh so hard. All because of you."

Did she really just say all of that? Man, those words mean so much to me even though they're so simple. How is this girl digging her way further and further into my heart? I kiss the back of her hand, "I treat you way to good." I joke.

She snatches her hand away from me then pushes me lightly, "Whatever."

I always do something to ruin a serious moment. Well, I'm sure Spencer and I have many more serious moments to come. Debbie finally walks back in and she looks kinda pissed. She sits next to Spencer all angry, "What's up, Debs?" I ask.

She sighs heavily then looks at me with her bottom lip stuck out, "No luck on the food."

I laugh, "Okay, well, let's fix that. We can go to P.F Chang or we can go to Wally world and get some groceries for us until Spen's parental devices come back. You pick. Nose goes, not it." I put my right finger up to my nose and so does Spencer.

It's a thing we worked out. It's how we decide and make our decisions. I think we've adapted far from rock, paper, scissors, thank you very much.

"What the heck are you guys doing? Why are your hands on your nose?" Debbie asks highly confused. It's kinda funny but also cruel. Oops.

Spencer takes her finger off of her nose as she smiles at Debbie, "It's how we make decisions. The last person to put their finger on their nose is the one who has to make whatever decision there is to make," she shrugs, "It may sound dumb but it actually works."

"Yeah, I'm a lazy individual looking for an easy way out." It's a matter of fact. Easy Ashley… wait, not like that.

"Okay, so I decide where we go?" Debbie says mischievously.

I nod, "Yes, that means you decide. Anywhere you'd like." I say smoothly. I'm a big spender today.

"Do I have a price range?" Debbie asks wiggling her eyebrows.

Spencer smacks her on the arm, "Deb! Don't ask her that, just go to Krystal's or Mcdonald's." Spencer looks at me with sorry eyes and I cant figure out why.

I shrug, "Spen, it's alright. No big deal. Yeah, wherever you'd like to go. I'm down for anything." I say smiling.

Debbie raises her eyebrows at me, "Hm? Ashley, can I ask you something?"

Beep. Beep. Alert. This could be an unnecessary question.

"And what's that, Debs?" I ask with a sort of quivering in my voice. Spencer can tell. She gives me a look that I can't quite read.

"Where are you getting all this money from? Are you an assassin or something?" Oh, she's just joking. Whew, I dodged a bullet there, yeah?

I chuckle a little, "Yep, I'm an assassin. I natural born killer, actually." I nod my head. Of course I'm not serious. Or am I?

Spencer shakes her head as she looks a Debbie, "No, she is not. Her parents are surgeons, don't let her fool you."

"Hey now! I have my own ways of making money. You know when I'm not seeing you I'm actually tricking on a corner. Thank you, very much." I'm proud of myself I'll have you know. A girl's gotta make a living.

Spence cracks a smile as she cracks up, "That actually might be the truth, Debs. She could very well be a prostitute."

I scoff as Debbie begins to speak, "And what are your prices?" she wiggles her eyebrows at me.

I stifle the laughter that is boiling in my gut then I just let it all out. "Oh my god, you're alright, kid. Let's get this show on the road, though, seriously. You down for some P.F?" I ask her recovering from my laughing fit.

"Yeah, let's scoot." Spencer says. I sense a slight bit of jealousy. Girls are so easy to read when they're jealous. It's sort of in the cute category on Spencer though.

_**No way she's hitting on her… no way, right? I'm a firm believer in Spashley though.**_


	33. Chapter 33

**Hello, family. It's been a while hasn't it? Sorry about that.**

**But I'm back… again!**

**Enjoi!**

Spencer is so cute. Everything she does just drives me incredibly insane. For example, the way she smiles and blushes when we look at each other at the exact same time. Or how she'll rub her foot against mine under the table without Debbie noticing. Even when she makes the ick face about trying something she never has or will try again.

How does Debbie not know what's going on between us? I've been making love dove faces at Spen all night.

"…Ash?" Debbie finishes and I guess I wasn't listening again. Oops.

I look at her with a confused look, "What'd you say?"

She rolls her eyes and smiles, "Nothing at all, Casanova." She winks. I think she referring to the looks I'm getting from our waitress. I think she's doing her job, personally. She's really good on refilling our—my—drink. I'll tip her nicely, all waitresses need a little something extra every once in a while, right?

"Can I get you anything else?" she practically whispers to me with a devious smirk.

I look up at her, "No, thanks. I think I'm good here. Can we get the check, too, if you don't mind?" and I end the question with the famous Davies' smile.

"No problem. I'll be right back." She says then saunters away.

I look at Spencer and she is fuming, "What?" I mouth to her while Debbie's preoccupied with her phone.

"Phone." She mouths back to me as she texts on her phone.

I reach into my pocket and pull my mobile device out. Text from Spen, _WHAT THE HELL? WHY IS SHE BEING SO FUCKIN NICE TO YOU? WHY ARE YOU FLIRTHING BACK?_

I look away from my phone and then up to Spencer. She's not even looking in my direction now. I groan then beginning texting her back. _Babe, I'm not doing anything with her. I'm being nice to her cuz shes the waitress. What do u want me to do?_

"Throwing your drink in her face would be funny," Spencer says aloud.

I burst with laughter as Debbie likes at Spencer with a odd glance then she looks in my direction, "What? What's going on?"

I shake my head as Spencer answers, "Nothing, nothing at all."

The waitress, Danya comes back with the check. Wait, I didn't know her name was Danya. Shit. Fuck. Damn. That's why she's making fucking goo-goo eyes at me. This isn't gonna end well at all.

As we walk out of the restaurant I see Danya leaning on the side of the building smoking a cigarette. You have no idea I wanna ask if I could hit that. The cig, not the girl. Really. I'm dying over here.

"Hey," says Danya as she exhales a lot of smoke then puts the cig out. Goodbye sweet nectar from the devil gods.

"Hey," I say back to her as I stand in the middle of Spencer and Debbie.

She walks over to us and stands right in front of me with a smirk on her face, "I don't see you around anymore. What's up with that? Been missing you at the parties a little." I feel like she's way to close so I take a little step back.

I shrug and scratch my ear, "I guess I haven't really been into the whole partying thing lately, got more important things to tend to now…" Spencer. Spencer. And more Spencer. I hope she's aware of this.

"Ash, I'll wait for you in the car," Spencer whispers in my left ear before walking off.

"Well," Danya pulls out a piece of paper and then shoves her index finger, along with the piece of paper in my pocket then lingers there, "If you ever want to have a private party…you have my number." With that said she winks then heads back into P.F.

I start walking towards my car really fast, right behind Spencer. I can feel her anger from here but damn she has got one nice caboose on her backside. "Shit, that girl was all on your balls!" Debbie yells in the parking lot walking next to me.

"Yeah, well…" I shrug. I don't know what else I could say.

Spencer reaches the care first and I unlock the car with my keychain. She hops in with a swiftness and then Debbie, then me.

We're taking Debbie to a party so she can hang with her other friends while she's in L.A.

It's silent in the care until Debbie, in the back seat, scoots up so her head is in the middle of my rearview mirror, "So, um, who's the girl?"

I look at Spencer and I can tell she's looking at me using her perephrials because she wants to know the answer, "Uh, some girl I used to party with. I definitely don't anymore." Seriously.

"When you say 'party' what exactly do you mean?" Debbie asks. I guess this is the monumental moment.

We stop at a red light and I look into the mirror, "Exactlly what you think I 'party' meant between two people with chemistry."

"Uh, you mean—"

I cut her off before she turns into Stutters Mcghee, "I'm a lesbian," I shrug.

Debbie's mouth drops open, "Oh. My. God." Here we go again. You are so, "Awesome! That is great! I love lesbians. Spencer, did you know?" Debbie looks at Spencer.

Spencer looks at Debbie with a smile, "Yeah, Debs, I knew. No big deal, right?"

Debbie shakes her head from left to right at light speed, "Hell, no. I got no problem with a vagina lover. Just call me hot everyday and we will not have a problem."

I smile and laugh, "That's good to know, otherwise, I would have to toss you from my ride."

Spencer laughs at my stupid joke even if she doesn't want to, "No need, lesbo-a-go-go," Debbie chuckles, "That's my new nickname for you by the way. Like it?"

I nod, "Love it."

We pull up in front of a well known party house. I've been here many of times. Some I remember and some I don't. "Well, I will be seeing you guys later. Don't have too much fun without me." She kisses Spencer on the cheek then hops out of the car and bobbles up to the party house. There's a dude passed out on the lawn. Let the good times begin.

What's up with this silence? We dropped Debbie off fifteen minutes ago and Spen has yet to say a single word to me. Ugh, I'm solving this.

I pull into a McDonalds parking lot and park. I take off my seatbelt and shift my body to stare at Spencer. She looks at me, "What?" she asks quietly.

"Why do I get the cold shoulder?" I ask just as quiet.

She looks away from me, "I don't know what you're referring to." She says more to the window than me.

My pocket starts to vibrate so I pull it out of my pocket before throwing it in the backseat. No interruptions right now. "Spencer." I say her name sternly.

She looks at me with no emotion written on her face. "Yeah?"

"What's wrong?" I ask again trying to pry into what's making her so off with me.

She sighs, "I can't compete with those other girls, Ash."

I shake my head, "Spen, there are NO other girls. There is only one and she is you, baby." I say sincerely. I mean it.

"I'm not like them…" her voice becomes super tiny.

I crawl over the armrest and throw a leg on both side of hers, "Spencer, look at me," she looks into my eyes, "I don't want you to be like them so this," I point between her and myself, "Is good."

"I'm just afraid that you're gonna leave me because we don't… you know." Oh. Sex. Oh, all makes sense now.

I grab her chin and pull her closer, "I don't care. That doesn't matter to me. As long as I get to see your face everyday and call you mine then there's no problem. I don't care about sex. Spencer, baby, being with you is more than enough for me. You are amazing."

I can see the smile in her eyes, "I don't need to have sex with you to be happy. I am happy. I lo—like you." Slip up.

She tilts her head a little bit, "What'd you say?" she asks.

God, I'm gonna feel so vulnerable and stupid after this. So, god, if you're up there smite me when I'm done. "I love you, Spencer Ravine Carlin. No girl has ever made me feel like you do. My heart skips a beat at the mention of your name, I'm surprised I'm still living honestly. You make me wanna be better for you. I don't think about who's party is happening tonight. I'm thinking about how many dozens of roses should I buy Spencer today," I laugh. Corny, "I don't know. I feel completely vulnderable and stupid around you as well as safe and secure. Content. Happy."

She smiles, "Ashley, I love you, too. I love you, like, a lot. I guess that's why I got all crazy jealous. I don't like the idea of someone chasing after you because that means that I could lose you."

"Nope. You're kinda stuck with me now." I say jokingly, "I'm here forever and ever." Wow, I should be scared but I'm not. I'm not running from love this time. Love's gonna have to leave me.

"I'm gonna kiss you right now." Spencer whispers as she leans in slowly to my lips.

"I'm gonna kiss you back." I say meeting her halfway with a smirk.

I place my hands on both sides of her face gently as we kiss. Caressing her cheeks and her ears. She rests her hands on my hips as she plays with the hem of my shirt.

Things get pretty toasty in the car, seriously, windows are fogging up. I grab the bottom of my shirt and take it off. Spencer's gawking at my bra, "Yeah?" I say breathing heavily.

"We need to go to your house. Now." She says before she kisses me more passionately than before.

Hell yes, I'm down.


	34. Chapter 34

**Thanks guys for all the reviews, I know it's been like "five years" since I updated but I guess I just missed you guys. Hopefully, it won't take me another five years to update. I want to have at least ONE completed story under my belt **

**Uh oh, where is Spashley headed?**

**Enjoi!**

I hate Glen. With a passion. I just wanna bury his head in the sand for a couple of hours. I don't think he would die. Maybe I should test out this theory…

Look at him, with this blonde pretty boy hair and his masculine chin. Stupid face. Ugh. He's making my skin crawl and my blood boil and I'm sure if I had a heart it'd be exploding into a thousand pieces, I'm gonna—

"Ashley?" Spencer whispers in my ear, I don't know how I hear her over all this noise. By noise I mean drunken yelling in the Carlin home.

I look at Spencer with a pout on my face, "Yeah?"

She smiles, a pretty smile of course, "I'm sorry, babe."

I shrug, "Not your fault, really. Glen's the cockblocker."

Spencer chuckles and shakes her head. She puts her right hand on my knee and leans into my ear, "Don't hate him. He's just my jock-y, idiot brother. Not his fault he's an idiot."

I have chills going up my spine from Spencer's breath on my ear. I can't think straight, "I guess."

I have explaining to do. So, after I took of my shirt in the car Spencer and raced back to her _empty_ house, we made it all the way up the stairs and to her bedroom…

_I push her lightly on the bed then I rip off my shirt and throw it to some unknown spot. I crawl on top of Spencer until I'm hovering over her face, "Hi." I say._

_ She smirks as her eyes look at my lips then to my eyes, "How's it going?" she asks._

_ Me being me I have to insert a snarky comment here, "Oh, it's definitely going."_

_ She laughs a little before reaching her hands behind my head to pull my lips to hers. Our lips brush each other in the most delicate manner. Then, the second contact is something otherworldly. My tongue, her tongue, fighting for control over each other. I can't let her win so easily this time. I'm not a pushover—what? She's digging her nails into my back as her mouth does magical things to my neck._

_ She wins._

_ My eyes roll into the back of my head a little before I'm able to focus on her again. She lays back down on the bed with a satisfied look on her face. No, no, Spen, you did not win the war, just the battle. _

_ I kiss her on the lips as my left hand goes under her shirt to play with her navel. I can feel her breath hitching. It's like she's slowly walking into cold water, there's nothing cold about these actions. Let me tell you._

_ I start with her lips then to her cheek, then her jaw line and down to her ear. I nibble there for a sec or two then down to her neck. "Ash…" she draws out my name, "Feels good."_

_ I smile into her neck as I continue my assault. My hand moves to graze her ribs one by one, then I play with the underwire of her bra. I wiggle my thumb under the bra and run it under the material. She pushes her body into mine, "Spencer?" I say._

_ "Mhm?" this is not the time for words I'm assuming._

_ "Are you okay?" I ask. I'm doing the whole loving girlfriend thing. I think I'm doing a good job at it._

_ She moans a little before she answers, "Oh, yes."_

_ This is my girlfriend, Spencer, she has a way with words._

_ "I love you." I whisper into her neck._

_ "I love you more." She whispers back to me with breaths in between._

_ I smirk into her neck. I'm not arguing with her right now. Actions speak louder than words. I reach behind her back and undo her bra then my left hand pushes her bra up as it caresses her left breast. _

_ She arches her back trying to make more contact between us, which is understandable considering the circumstances. "Ashley. Mm, that's…good." Oh, she speaks._

_ "Too fast?" I say._

_ She shakes her head from left to right quickly, "Not one bit."_

_ I smirk as I sit up, meaning all contact Spencer and I were having just ended. "Why'd you stop?" she looks down at me as I crawl up a little to straddle her._

_ "Relax…" I say grabbing the bottom of her shirt and pulling it up toward her head. Last time this is where she stopped us, I don't think that's happening any time soon._

_ I get her shirt up over her head and then her bra shortly follows. I feel like I've reverted back to when I was like 12. My palms are all sweaty and I think…I'm nervous, yep. Come on, its Spencer Carlin's boobs! No one in town has ever seen them before. This is uncharted territory. I'm the first to venture here within a 300 mile radius. I think I need to do a little exploration._

_ I lean down to her lips and suck on her bottom lip. Then I kiss on her collarbone then the middle territory, then I slowly make my way down to her belly button. She's arching her back again, I'm not even doing anything._

_**BOOM!**_

___I look up into Spencer's eyes, she looks terrified, "You heard that right? Or is that something you did?" _

_ I laugh, "You would know if that was me, trust me." _

And that's where the fun ended. The big loud noise was none other than Mark Shambles stumbling into the front door with a full keg and with Chad Robertson entering behind him with another full one. No more play time. And I have blue balls. Well, minus the lack of balls. Ugh. So, here we are sitting downstairs on the couch watching all the drunkies and the stoners have fun.

You may be wondering why we didn't go over to my house. Well, there's a perfect explanation for that. Tonight's party is a cosponsored one. Meaning that Kyla agreed to let Glen use both houses. The smartest thing she's ever done. No one better steal anything.

I could've been having a different kind of fun but nope. Nothing works out for Ashley. "Do you wanna go out somewhere?" I ask Spencer.

She looks at me with curiosity, "Where to?"

I shrug, "Anywhere but here. Canada. China. A hotel room?" I nudge her a little with my elbow.

She rolls her eyes, "You're silly." She looks around in the crowd, "You're girlfriend's here." She deadpans.

I follow her eyes, "You're right, she's sitting right next to me. That's just Erin, smart-ass."

"I hope this doesn't end badly." Spencer says angrily. So hot. Why are all these people here when I could be doing naughty things to my hot girlfriend? Oh, right, Glen Carlin. And there's that angry feeling again.

"Hey, Ashley," Erin says standing in front of me in the famous cheerleader outfit.

I stand up, "Hey, E, what's up? What are you doing here?" I ask already knowing the answer. It's a jock oriented party.

"Well, Glen's throwing it so it's my duty as cheer captain, duh." Erin says smiling.

I nod, "I knew that, I knew that."

Spencer clears her throat as she stands up next to me, "Hi, Erin."

"Hey, Spencer."

Damn, it just got super chill in here. Or is it just me? Nope, it's Erin and Spencer actually.

They're saying stuff, I should probably listen, right?

"…Ashley's still got it I see, huh?" Erin says looking at me with a smile.

"Yeah. She does." Spencer says.

I'm so confused, "What are we talking about?" I ask the two of them.

"The infamous Ashley 'Vacuum' Davies hickey that Spencer has," Erin says with a smirk. I'm sure she's remembering what she gave up. Take that!

"Oh, yeah, well, I still got it," I look over at Spencer and she's staring daggers at Erin. I intertwine our fingers, "Spencer's neck was calling my name. Not my fault."

Spencer squeezes my hand and Erin just nods.

"Well, it was nice seeing you; E, Spencer and I were actually heading out. Kind of tired of this scene." It's true. If I'm not getting any there's no reason to sit through this Neanderthal-ish display of brawn over brain. I've got better things to attend to, like trying to cope a feel on my lady friend.

"It used to be but things do change easily, hm?" Erin says licking her lips. Wait, wait, what happened to that conversation we had earlier about respecting my girlfriend? The lip licking is definitely grounds for expulsion.

"They changed for the better." Spencer says staring at Erin, not even blinking.

"Alright, later!" I pull Spencer away from Erin with a quickness. Gotta get the hell outta here before there's a knockout, drag-out fight between my current and recent.

We make it inside my car and I lock the doors and turn on the car. I turn to Spencer and grab both her hands, "Baby, you okay?"

She rolls her eyes as she stares at the house, "I don't like her. I understand she's your friend but she's so—"

"Bitchy. The term is bitchy." I finish her sentence.

She looks at me and turns her head as she smiles, "Yeah."

I love her baby blues. They're shining so nicely in the moonlight. This girl is something to hold on to, "You wanna get outta here?" I ask.

"Where to?" she asks for the second time tonight.

"A place I love to make love to the girl I love?" maybe this'll work. Crossing my fingers.

She rolls her eyes with a smile, "I'm not easy, Ashley."

I wiggle my eyebrows seductively, "That can be arranged."

**Hm, what does Ashley have planned, I wonder?**

**Well, I probably need to figure that out eventually, right? If I'm gonna continue writing this story.**


	35. Chapter 35

**I guess I shall continue with the SpashleyLove**

**Enjoi.**

I love a girl with soft hands. Spencer fits nicely in that category, actually. She's rubbing the back of my hand as it rests on her knee, "Come on, Ash, just tell me." Spencer whines.

"Nope, sir, I cannot and will not." I smile at how cute she sounds when she's being a brat.

"I don't deserve the consideration of knowing where we are headed? What if my mom wants to know? What if she calls the cops on you because she thinks you kidnapped me?" She's just chalk full of ideas tonight.

I laugh as I turn into our unknown area, "You know where we are crazy girl. Remember?"

I move my hand from her knee to put the car in park as she looks around.

"You still don't know?" I ask taking off my seatbelt.

She turns from the window to me, "Is this the place where you first took me? Your beach house?"

I nod, "Mhm. My beach house. You wanna go inside, I got something I wanna show you. If you don't mind of course." I say opening my car door.

She smiles and nods, "Yeah, I would love that. Gonna open my door, too, Casanova?" Spencer says jokingly but I think I should surprise her.

I walk around to her side of the car before she gets the chance to open her door. I open it for her, "You're night of fun begins here, Ms. Carlin."

She giggles, "Don't call me that, that's my mother."

"Ooh, the hottest Carlin of them all…" I say smiling at Spencer as she steps out of the car.

She smacks me on the arm, "Don't ever say that phrase again, please. Or consider yourself a free agent."

I fake a gasp as I close her door behind her, "You wouldn't."

She nods, "I so would. Try me."

Hm, I don't think I should push my luck. I mean I've already gotten lucky with having her as my favorite lady.

I roll my eyes playfully, "Fine. It's all a plot to get you all jealous and hot." I wiggle my eyebrows.

She giggles then intertwines our hands as we walk up toward the house, "Sorry, you fail. Majorly."

"Can't blame me for trying, right?" I'm a hopeful person. So, sue me.

So, we've just been sitting in the living room watching scary movies. And, yes, it's very cliché but Spen keeps dropping her pretty little self in my lap because she's so scary. I've got no qualms about the situation personally. Every time she jumps in my lap she clasp onto my shirt tightly, like she's holding on for dear life. Thank goodness, I didn't want to be the only one. I lose my breath when she's this close.

30 days of night just got over and her breathing has calmed, "Why have we been sitting here on the verge of a heart attack?" she asks looking into my eyes as she's sitting on my lap.

I smirk deviously, "When I get a reaction like this from you? Baby, I don't think that should be a question at all."

She rolls her eyes, "I guess I see you have a valid point."

I nod my head then lean into kiss her on the lips. Right as our lips connect my phone vibrates. I ignore it because I'm starting to enter Spen's mouth with my tongue. She pushes her lips away from me with a smile, "What?" I ask.

"Your phone could be pretty important right now."

I faux think for a second then shake my head and pull her back into me, "Nope."

Rejected. She turns her face so I'm planting a nice one on her cheek, "Ouch."

"Get you phone," she gets up and walks into the kitchen all sexy like. Spencer Ravine Carlin, you tease.

I groan and roll my eyes in frustration then answer my phone without looking at the callerID, "Yellow?" I answer.

"Ashley?" a familiar voice says from the other side of the phone line.

"Last time I checked, what's up?" I'm annoyed. She called me, not the other way around. She should know who this is.

"Har-har-hardly funny. Anyway, what are you doing?"

"I'm spending some alone time with my girlfriend but I can't do that if I'm on the phone with you now can I, Jamie?" sorry, imam little hostile right now but she's keeping me from some grade A action.

I can hear her eyes roll, if that's possible, "Where are you? Have you guys fucked yet? What's the hold up?" My god, my best friend can be pretty vulgar.

"Your mouth needs to be washed with soap. Damn, we're at the beach house. Why are you calling me?" I have to get to the point.

"I'm being a good friend and trying to hang out with my best lesbian friend because I miss how she hit on me. Jeez." Jamie says feigning hurt.

I roll my eyes to her idiocy, "The door is open, there's a cosponsored party at Spencer's house and mine. You're welcome to use my home for your sexual needs since I will not."

Jamie gasps.

Waiting.

Waiting.

"Thanks, I love you!" I think she's a little bit over excited about this, "I wish you luck on your voyage of vag. I'll tell Spence to give it up. Bye." She says quickly then I get a text immediately, _ilyilyily! We need to hang out soon, we need to catch up. Get it girl!_

I shake my head then throw my phone to the opposite of the couch. Spencer comes back and she sits on my lap, "What was that all about?" she ponders.

With a big smile on my face, "Jamie wanted to know if she could come over. I said yeah."

"She's coming here?" She asks confused and somewhat disappointed.

"Nope. She wants to have sex somewhere so why not somewhere I won't be. She's at my actual house." I reassure her as I wrap my arms around her in a nice little embrace.

"Good," she kisses me on the nose, "I can't be overly cute with you when there's someone else in the room, "it'd be weird."

She's too cute. I could just eat her up. Ahem, "So, what does it take you to be sexy with me?" I wiggle my eyebrows.

Spencer blushes, "Hm. Nothing."

I look confused, "Nothing at all?" I ask.

She shakes her head from side to side, "Nothing at all. Just be you. I like you better that way."

For some reason that makes my heart smile. Seriously, I can feel it in my chest. Idea! "Hey, let me show you something. Wait here."

I politely scoot her to the left of me so I can get up and do this quickly. I run to my room and pick up my oldest and dearest guitar. I keep her here so she stays in tip top shape. And plus its so peaceful out here to write music.

I walks back to her with the guitar in hand, "Don't say anything until I'm done okay?" I speak softly as I sit down on the opposite side of the couch, away from her.

She nods understandingly with a smile on her face.

I position myself and my fingers so I'm comfortable then I clear my throat, "_Can we sail Spain? Just me and you open ocean and the bright blue sky above. Well do you want, do you want the moon? I'll get it for you…"_ I continue singing this song. The whole time I look into her eyes.

The whole time never wanting this moment to end.

Never wanting us to end.

_"Give me a dance, she says. Just take my hand, she says. I don't want anything let's make a getaway just me and you, babe. The rest of the world can wait cause I've been waiting for you, oh, I've been waiting for you…"_

She's hanging on every word. I hope she knows I mean it.

**The song is "Spain" by Between the Trees.**

**They're pretty good, the vocalist sings beautifully and the lyrics are just as great.**

**And they happen to be from my state, I'm not biased, they're just good.**

**So, what do you think?**


	36. Chapter 36

**Hello, i know i've been gone for a while but i've recently purchased my very own laptop to love and to hold and to cherish and to do all sorts of odd things with. Mine. All mine. It feels good to say :)**

**But here's more Spashley Love. I hope you guys do enoji :)**

"You amaze me more and more everyday, " She smiles as I regain my cool, sexy composure.

I place the guitar so it's leaning against the wall behind me, "That horrible, huh?"

She rolls her eyes then intertwines our fingers, "Come here."

"Well, well, well, are you trying to seduce me, Spencer Carlin?" I say obliging to her pulling motion.

She nods, "Mhm." She kisses me lightly on the lips then looks into my eyes. They're burning a hole through my undeserving soul, "Is it working?"

I nod. Speechless.

"Thought so," she whispers before she leans in and kisses me with more passion than the last kiss we shared.

No girl leaves Ashley Davies speechless but Ashley Davies. Thank God, I said that in my head and not vocally. That was just stupid.

Five minutes have passed since we started our make-out session. Forget cute Spencer, I think I'm dealing with sexy Spencer at the moment. A) Because she keeps digging her nails into my sides and back, B) She keeps voicing her opinions on the situation at hand by saying nothing at all and C) She keeps saying "I Want You."

Now I don't know if you people are aware what that does to my hormones but those three simple words drive me up the wall. If you have enough balls to say that you wanna bang in a less vulgar manner then it's more than likely that you're getting laid that night. That is all.

Spencer goes to lift up my shirt. I grab her left hand with my right, "Wait." I breathe heavily.

She looks from her hand to my mouth then my eyes, "What's wrong?" she asks looking hurt.

I smirk, "Nothing at all," I peck her on the lips, "I just—if we—if we start this I won't be able to hold myself back. I'm not gonna want to stop."

"Who's complaining?" she quips back with a smirk.

Green light, Ashley, green fucking light! "Not me."

"You're so beautiful," I say moving stray hair away from Spencer's face. She really is. Her eyes are sparkling in the night and with her skin so soft... how am I so lucky?

She blushes and looks down, "You're just saying that because you have to, I mean we just slept together."

I grab the bottom of her chin lightly and make her look at me, "I don't have to say anything but the truth to you and that's what I'm doing."

She smiles, "Okay."

"And I'd like to think that we made love. Not fucked or slept together as you so lightly put it. You mean more to me than that." I say lightly in fear that I'm packing on the sweetness a little too thick.

This time she doesn't blush. She stares into my eyes, "I really do love you, Ashley."

Now it's my turn to blush, "Wanna prove it?" I ask.

She giggles, "Is this is what we're gonna be like? Bunnies with every second we get?"

I nod, "Yeah, would you expect anything else from the infamous Ashley Davies? I mean, really, Spen?"

She doesn't take a second to think about it, "Nope. I guess not, horn-dog."

I smile, "Then what are we talking about?"

A comfortable silence falls over us. I take this time to wrap my left arm around Spencer's waist and close my eyes. This is probably the most peaceful I've ever been after sex. I'm usually in a rush to leave so I don't break the staying overnight rule with the random type girls.

She places a hand on my arm that's wrapped around her, "Was I... any good?" she asks with fear in her voice.

I prop myself up with my right arm, "No. You were great. I'd swear you were a pro if I didn't know you."

I can see the corner of her lip turn up and I lay back down on my side and scoot closer to her, "Okay." she says with a little sunshine in her voice.

I kiss her neck then we doze off to sleep.


	37. She makes dirty words sound pretty

**Hey, my favorite people.**

**Just wanted to let you guys know that there was supposed to be a line break somewhere in the last chapter but i guess nothing wanted to cooperate with me that day.**

**That's fine, though, you guys still enjoyed it right?**

**Well, enjoi this one!**

"_We should run away together. Like to China or something." Erin says with a smirk on her lips._

_I shake my head as I laugh, "I think Canada would be more plausible considering it's like right there and China's like way in butt fuck Egypt."_

_Erin giggles as she reaches to hold my hand, I let her, "Well, I'm just saying. We should leave here. Go somewhere exotic and new. Start fresh."_

_I take my hand away from her and stand up, "I am."_

_She stands up next to me, "We are?"_

_I shake my head from side to side, "I said, I am. Me. Without you." _

_I stare at Erin and her body shatters into a million pieces. I look down at them but I'm more concerned with my nakedness. I'm bare ass naked. "When did I go full body commando?"_

_I hand blocks my vision of my body. My eyes follow the hand back to it's owner, "Canada, you said?" Spencer says in a black and purple tux._

_I look down again and I'm in an inverted black and purple tux. I look back up to Spencer, "Canada?"_

"Canada?" I say again. What the fuck? Since when did I shell out money for matching tuxes?

Someone's shaking me, "Ashley. Baby." I hear Spencer's voice call to me.

I nod, "Canada, Spen, I know. Pack your stuff." I say quickly.

She giggles, "Open your eyes, silly."

My eyes are op—closed. I open my eyes and focus on her. Her hair's wet, she must have taken a shower while I was sleeping, "Hey, you." I say with a smile and my usual raspy morning voice.

She tilts her head to the side in a cute manner, "So, Canada, you said?"

I narrow my eyes at her. I'm paranoid, "Wait. That wasn't a dream?"

She nods, "It was but you kept talking in your sleep. Something about Canada and China."

I sit up while holding the sheet up to my chest because I'm still completely naked, "I was naked in my dream. You were wearing a tux and... just a whole bunch of crazy."

Spencer laughs then kisses me on the lips with a smile, "Maybe us having sex is a bad idea especially when you wind up having crazy dreams about us."

I shake my head vigorously, "Nope," I pull her on top of me, "That just means we now have a theory to test. I vote we go at it again to see if the dream continues."

"Hm," she stares me in the eyes, "We'll see. Depends on how good you are."

I raise an eyebrow, "How good I am with what?" I'm all confused.

Spencer crawls off the top of me, "We have somewhere to be so I recommend you get yourself together, Ms. Davies."

I don't budge.

"C'mon, Ash, don't be stubborn right now. We have to go."

"Go where exactly, Spen?" I shall not be moved until I know why I should be moved.

Spencer falls to her knees then slings her palms together, "Please come to lunch with my family."

Hell. The Fuck. No. Paula will probably wind up shoving me in the oven and I haven't ever met Spencer's dad. Maybe I'd like to keep it that way until a shotgun marriage must ensue.

I shake my head in one swift motion, "N-"

Spencer cuts me off as she stands up off her knees, "Please, Ash, Please? My dad wants to meet you and I want you to meet him. My family's gonna start to think I made you up. Then, they'll think I'm highly unhealthy and send me off to some institution. Do you really want that on your conscience?"

I sigh, "You're being way too dramatic about this." She's being a straight up brat.

"Because this means a lot to me..." she trails off sadly.

I groan as I fall back on the bed, "Fine!"

I feel something rustling around my feet. I don't budge, I'm mentally preparing myself for lunchtime with the devil. Spencer's hovering over me now, "You're the best girlfriend ever, you know?"

I close my eyes, "Hmph."

I can sense her smile. She places tiny kisses on the left side of my neck so her words become muffled, "You really are. And if you play your cards right you might be getting something out of this."

Spencer. Damn. She's holding all the right cards at the moment. And probably for... forever considering I can't seem to say no to her about anything.

The kissing stops as she looks into my eyes for the answer. I don't know why she's waiting for an answer when it's blatantly obvious that I want to wreck her body for all it's worth but, still love her, "Is that a yes?"

I steal a kiss quickly, "Yeah. I kinda need to put on clothes so I can be presentable as your girlfriend, you know?" I know she's not gonna introduce me to her father as her girlfriend just yet. It's fun to mess with her.

Spencer's eyes go wide, "I—What?" She sits up straight.

I follow her actions, "What?"

"Girlfriend—dad?" Spencer says as I begin to chuckle.

I place my hand on her knee, "I'm just kidding, baby. I wouldn't force you to do something like that, ever. If you want me to be your dirty little closet whore then I have no choice." I'm saying this with a smile so she doesnt take me seriously.

She exhales her breath, "Thank goodness, I don't know what I would've done. Not that I don't think my dad wouldnt be okay with it. My mom would just keel over and die, probably. Not even joking."

I nod as I stand, "I know, I know." I stand up, with a blanket wrapped around me, "Lemme hop in the shower and then I can go face my doom... if you really want that on you conscience." I poke my bottom lip out.

"Um, I think I can live with that as long as you do it looking presentable to my folks." Spencer smirks.

I roll my eyes and walk into the bathroom, "You aren't funny!" I drop the blanket and turn on the shower, "Even though your moms always gonna see me as a walking demon." I say that last part under my breath.

"And yet you still love me!" she yells back to me through the walls.

I sigh and turn on the shower. As I step in I feel the hot water rush over me. Feels good. How did I get here? I mean, how did I get a girl as wonderful as Spencer? I don't deserve her. I havent done anything in my life to deserve such an exquisite human being.

I'm messy. I'm slutty. I have no respect for anyone besides me.

Now the pros, I'm hot. I have money. I have a kick ass car. My girlfriend is hot, smart and all those other delicious stories.

I didn't have to really have to fight for her either. I was...myself. No conniving her, no outwitting her, just me being me.

I think I like where this is going.

Only because it's going somewhere with her.

After an hour of me 'slothing' around the beach house, Spencer finally gets me in the car. We haven't made it far, yet. I'm still picking out an album for the drive.

"Ashley, c'mon we could have been there by now, you know?" Spencer says more of a statement rather than a question.

I sigh as I shuffle through my ipod for a song to set the mood. Hm, what song will be the soundtrack as I take my trek into the lion's den? Found it, "Chill, babe, I'm ready. Just had to find the perfect song to begin this expedition."

Spencer looks at me, unamused, "Mhm, and what song did you come up with?"

I press play as I start the car, "Take a listen."

The song starts off slow with a piano, "_And it came to me then that every plan is a tiny prayer to father time..__."_

She listens a little bit longer before speaking, "Who is this?"

Oh, Spencer. I have so much to teach her regarding music, "It's Death Cab For Cutie. It's called What Sarah Said."

"It's pretty." she says with a smile. I don't think I have the guts to tell her that it's about some dude's girlfriend dying in the hospital. I'll break it to her later.

I nod, "It is isn't it?" I say smiling back at her.

I place my hand on top of hers. I can see her turn toward me out of the corner of my eye. She just smiles.

Spencer Ravine. You are the apple of my eye.

Spencer's dad calls her when we get to her house to let us know that they're going to have to push back the family get together to dinner because Paula had an emergency at the hospital. I sigh with relief. I've been saved.

"You're still coming in." Spencer says to me narrowing her eyes at me.

I shrug, "Well, if you wanna have a quickie we can do that, for sure. Let's go." I open my car door then look back and smile at her.

She wiggles her eyebrows at me and opens her door as well, "Okay, let's go."

We make our way out of the car and up to her front door. I push her against the door and steal kisses from her sweet lips, "I like sexpot Spencer."

She nods, "I like her, too." She opens the door with her back to it then whispers, "Oh, and I forgot. My dad and brothers are home. Must've slipped my mind. Let's go!" She pulls me and her into the house.

She tricked me. I'm gonna explode. I feel so lied to, so angry, so... turned on. Why?

"Hey, dad!" Spencer yells into the house as she has this crazy death grip on my wrist on our way to the kitchen.

"Hey, Spence." I hear her dad's booming voice before I get the chance to lay my eyes on him. He must be huge with that massive voice. I bet he was a NAVY seal before he became a doctor. Actually he's probably an undercover super agent for the government. Why didn't Spencer tell me? Why?

He lays eyes on me as I stand opposite of him, behind the bar. He's tall, blue eyes like Spencer but dark hair, way different from his girl offspring. "Hey, you must be Ashley. I've heard so much about you." He reaches out his hand to me.

Oh. My. God. His hand is huge. I'm sure he could probably crush my head with just one of those massive fingers. Even the pinky.

I feel a nudge, "Ash." I look as Spencer as she nods her head towards her huge handed father.

I shake my head a little as I reach out to shake his hand. I look him in the eyes as I speak, "Oh, yeah, hey, that's me. Mr. Carlin, good things... all hope I."

Wait, what'd I just spit out?

Spencer's dead slowly takes his hand back as he crinkles his brow, "Ha, alright. Ashley. Call me Arthur, Mr. Carlin is my father." He chuckles and I force a nervous smile. What the fuck did I just say? "Well, I'll call you girls down when dinner's ready if you want."

Spencer nods then kisses her dad on the cheek, "Thanks, Dad. You the best."

He brightens from the compliment his little girl just threw at him, "I know."

Spencer leads me upstairs and to her room. When the door shuts and locks behind her she looks at me with a cute smile, "So, what was that all about? Was Ashley Davies actually nervous for a change?" She's picking on me. B-word.

I shrug, "Psh, no, he just caught me off guard with the hand shake thing. I am not afraid of your father." Even if he might be in the secret service. Hitler's secret service.

Spencer laughs as she straddles me on her bed, "Ash, my dad is gonna love you if you just act normal. Be the Ashley that I love, hmm?" She kisses me once.

Twice, "Okay?" And then thrice as she wraps her arms around my neck, "Can you do that?"

I nod staring at her lips as I lick my own, "Whatever you say." I lean in to kiss her again.

She shakes her head at me, "Seriously, Ash. What are you so worried about? What's there to not like about you?" she asks me with a smile.

I place my hands on her hips, "Um, I've turned you into a lesbian sex fiend. That's one reason to hate me."

"Um, I actually kinda like that a little." Spencer says with a smirk on her lips.

Gimme, gimme. "Aw, don't tease me, Spen. If I can't have all of you then there's no point."

She shrugs, "Your choice." She stands up.

I pull her back down on top of me only this time we're laying flat, "Don't take me too seriously. I want it 24/7." I say with a flirtatious smirk.

She giggles as she props herself up with the palms of her hands, "Don't YOU tease me, Ashley Davies." And with a short kiss on my lips she's off and away from me.

**So, how was that? The First chapter from my unplanned hiatus was a little short and odd but i i think im getting back into the swing of things, ya?**


	38. I Will Follow You Into The Dark

**How goes it? Good Good. All is grand in my Spashley world. **

**I actually built a bear with someone that means alot to me and we named it Spashley. I sleep with it every night.**

**Cuz, i'm kinda in love with her, i guess. Ahem. Moving on.**

**Enjoi.**

* * *

I prop myself up on my elbows and look at her. She's going through her closet as I yell to her, "So, where'd you go this morning? I noticed you took a shower, did you sneak out with some other girl?"

She pokes her head out of the closet...ha, "Absolutely and then I had to take a shower before you smelled our sex on me. You know me, lady of the night."

I nod, "Mhm."

She rolls her eyes playfully then disappears back into the closet, "No, jealousy, I took a shower because I went on a run this morning because you were sleeping."

I gasp, "I would've gone with you, why didn't you wake me up?" I wanted to get my gluts in tip-top shape.

"Because you were sleeping so peacefully and I know that you needed the sleep. I was playing the considerate girlfriend card, gimme some points." Spencer says happily. I'm glad I make her happy.

I stand up and walk over to the closet then I proceed to peek my head in. A half naked Spencer in her bra and underwear, "What card are you playing now?" I ask raising my eyebrows.

She looks over at me quickly with a dark blue shirt in her hand, "The I'm-getting-dressed-quit-looking-before-we-wind-up-screwing card." She giggles.

I shake my head from side to side but keep my eyes glued on her and her bodacious body, "Um, nope, you lose. You can't use that card at least for another month." I take light steps toward her.

She looks me up and down then her eyes turn into this intense shade of blue, "Close the closet door behind you."

I do as she says then continue toward her. She wraps her arms around my neck as I place each of my hands on her hips. Skin so soft. No truer words could be spoken at this moment.

I can see the twinkle in her eyes, "I love you."

Okay, so I lied. No truer words other than those words could be spoken, "I love you, too."

She raises an eyebrow at that, "Show me."

My heart rate just quadrupled, "Don't say it if you don't mean it."

After I finish that statement she leans in and ravishes my lips. Kissing me hard enough to where I can't breathe and it feels so good. I dig my nails into her hips and she kind of whimpers.

I loosen my grip and break the kiss, "Does that hurt?" I ask referring to my nails.

She shakes her head as she dives back into my lips and I dive into her lips called heaven. I begin to push her backwards towards her closet wall. I pick her up, wrapping her legs around my body and push her against the wall to get some leverage. She gasps as I do this but she dare not break the kiss. With one hand I caress her thigh then take my lips away from her mouth and reattach them to her neck. She digs her claws into my back as she throws her head back, "Ashley." She whispers my name as she pulls me further into her, if that was remotely possible.

I suck on her pulse point then lick the spot to soothe the growing bruise.

That's going to cause a scene at some point. I don't even care at the moment. I kiss from her pulse point down to the middle of her chest and by this point her breathing has quickened and she can't control her breathing even if she tried.

I play with the material that's covering her bottom half as I continue my assault on her chest. My thumbs dip into her underwear and I feel her quiver. I slide myself back up so I'm eye level with her now and I stare at her.

Her eyes are as wide as saucers as she tries to compose herself and her breathing. I won't let that happen, "Please tell me we don't have to stop." I say as I continue to play with her panties.

She barely shakes her head, her eyes roll into the back of her head then they focus on me again, "No, no. Don't stop." I barely hear her say.

My girlfriend has a way with words. So, I do as she says and enter her and with a gasp and a moan we are hitting cloud 9.

Knock, knock, knock, "Spencer? Are you still in there?" I hear her dad's booming voice as I remove a stray hair out of her face. After we finished Spen got so sleepy and basically just passed out in my arms. I laid her on the bed and just sat there with her, holding her hand.

I'm guessing it's time for dinner, "Uh, yeah, Mr. C! She's in the bathroom, we'll be down in ten minutes." I yell back to Spencer's ginormous father.

"Alright, Ashley," he says walking away from the door.

I return my attention back to my sleeping beauty. I lightly kiss her on her lips, cheeks and nose, "Baby, wake-y, wake-y. Dinner time." I say between kisses.

She begins to stir, "I don't wanna..." she trails off.

I slip my hand under her shirt and kiss her neck, "Yeah, you do." I whisper to her neck.

She grabs my hand sluggishly then removes her neck from my lips, "Tease. I'm up, I'm up."

I squeeze her hand then stand up away from the bed and stretch, "We still have nine minutes left to spare, you know?"

She sighs happily as she sits up and swings her legs off the side of the bed, "No, Ash, we wouldn't leave. How long was I asleep?"

I squat down in front of her as I place my hand on her tiny little knees and slowly work my way up her legs, "I don't really have a problem with not leaving heaven, you know..."

She rolls her eyes and swats my hands away.

I'm gonna be respectful. I take my hands away from her and rest them on both sides of her legs, "About an hour and a half."

"Really? I'm surprised they didn't come up here earlier to tell us." She looks around the room and something catches her attention.

I try to stare at what she's looking at. She's staring at baggage, "What?" I ask.

"Debbie. I hope she's alright." Spencer picks up her phone and calls Debs number. I think so at least.

I sit on the ground and cross my legs and watch her pace back and forth across the room.

"Hey! Oh my god, are you alright?" Pause, "Okay, good, sorry, um Ash and I went to the beach and stayed out late last night." So, the stay out late excuse? Nice, Spen, cover our love making up with half-truths.

I stare down at my legs and tune out the rest of her conversation. I wonder if she's ever gonna tell anybody about us. I wonder if I'm gonna be some experiment gone awry. As great as she is I don't know if she's ready for what being a lesbian and being with me entails. Not that I would dump her or anything like that. I sigh.

She plops down in my lap, "Hey, you."

Those baby blues are staring me down, "Hey..."

She kisses me tenderly on the lips as she caresses my neck, "Are you okay?"

I put on a smile for her, "Yeah."

"You sure? You look kinda out of it." She pushes again.

I look away from her then back to her eyes. They always call to me but what do I say to her? It's no big deal, really, at least I know she wants to be with me. That's enough for right now, I guess, "Nothing, nothing. What'd Debs say?"

She furrows her brow but I can tell she's gonna let it slide, "She said congratulations and that I'm a late bloomer." Spencer smiles.

Hi, I'm confused, what's your name? "What?"

"I told her about us. I hope that's okay. I just wanted to tell someone. At first she didn't think I was serious. Like, I was seriously going out with you because I'm supposed to be straight and all but-"

"Wait, wait, you told her that you were my girlfriend?" I ask with my heart soaring while still remaining in my chest.

She gives me a quick nod then continues to speak, "Yeah. And that we made love forever," She blushes when she says that, "I hope that's okay?" She questions.

My smile can't be compressed any longer. I pull her into me for a hug, "That's so okay."

It's kinda like she knew what I was feeling.

So, after a mini make-out session on Spencer's bedroom floor we finally made our way down to dinner. So, I've always thought dinner with the Carlin's would kind of be like the Brady Bunch plus one sinner. That'd be me, by the way. In case you weren't aware.

The seating arrangement seems pretty normal if you ask me. I'm seated next to Spencer, of course, with Clay opposite of me and Glen next to him. Next to Clay and I is the lovable Mr. C then opposite of him is Paula.

After grace, fifteen minutes pass as we make small talk. The small talk leads to what we want to do with out life. Glen wants to do nothing but get paid for it, Clay wants to be an engineer of some sort and Spencer wants to become a lawyer like her grandmother was at some point in life. This makes Paula smile. Then it comes down to me, "So, what about you Ashley?" Mr C says in the booming voice next to my ear, "What do you wanna be?"

I shrug, "Haven't thought about it too much, actually. Whatever sounds good."

Glen smiles at me, "Yeah! I like that idea."

I look over to Paula, I can see how she disapproves, "What do you want out of life then? A steady career, beautiful children, handsome husband-"

I scoff cutting her off, "Nah." Kinda funny.

"You don't want any of that?" Spencer asks.

I look at her, "Yeah, I wanna be successful and all with the two and a half kids but I don't need a husband to complete it, you know?" I say to Spencer and she smiles and squeezes my hand under the table. She was the only one meant to understand that.

Paula clears her throat, "So, you don't want a husband? You just wanna be single all your life?"

I don't know where this is going...

"No," I say slowly, "I just don't want a husband."

"You're supposed to date to marry, not date just to date and jump from person to person." Paula says coldly.

"Good thing I don't do that, Mrs. C." I say just as cold as she spoke to me.

"What are you saying, Ashley?" Paula says to me as the whole table stares at me.

I shrug again, "I'm just saying that there are other options." I'm gonna be vague in the hopes that this won't turn horrible. That's just wishful thinking.

"There are no other options." Paula says.

I swear the silence in this room is haunting, "Yeah there are. You don't have to conform to what society wants you to."

I look over to Glen and he's started to get this smile on his face. I roll my eyes, "What are telling me, Ashley?" She's staring me dead in the eyes.

I look back at her intensely, "I'm live the alternative lifestyle?"

And that is how I wound up in my car driving all angry and annoyed. I don't even know where I'm going at this point. Just driving til I run out of gas.

Spencer's been calling me nonstop for the past ten minutes but I can't bring myself to pick up. I shouldn't even be driving right now, the state that I'm in. I'm seeing red everywhere I turn and it just enrages me even more.

* * *

**Fuck Paula.**

**Basically.**


	39. Summer of 98

**And here we go again.**

Paula went on to tell me that I was a disease to this earth, plaguing women with temptation and damnation. Like it's all my fault that other girls decide to fall for other girls. What the fuck? How is it my fault that some people on the opposite side of the world fall in love? I don't even know. Fucked up logic if you ask me. How did Spencer come from that woman?

I argued with her asking how it's fair to damn someone to hell because of who they fall in love with? I also asked why god contradicted himself by saying he loved everyone on earth except for the gay people he created.

She told me I was disgusting and told me to get out of her house with my questioning of the great man in the holy, fucking, sky.

She can kiss my ass.

I pull over on the side of the road. I'm twenty minutes away from Jamie. I look at my phone 7 missed calls and 2 text messages. I look at the messages.

**Bby, let me know you're alright. I love you. -Spen.** Says the first one and the second one is from her as well. **Pls, talk to me. I'm sorry about my mother. I yelled at her and walked out, I'm sitting at ur house. Ky let me in. I'll be here waiting for you to cool off. I'm so sorry. -Spen**.

It occurs to me that I'm taking this out on her. I shut down and didn't bother to stick around and see if she was alright. I'm being selfish right now by not letting her in on my thoughts and feelings. I have to treat this relationship different from all the others if I want this to work. And so help me, I wanna make this work.

I text her back to let her know I just needed to cool off and that if she doesn't mind I'd like to talk. In less than a second I get a call, "Hello?" I say into my phone. I lay my head back on the headrest.

"Baby, are you sure you're okay?" is the first thing that comes out of her mouth.

I sigh, "Yeah, she just infuriates me. I know that's your mom and all but she doesn't respect me so I don't see the point of respecting her. It's ridiculous."

"I know, I know." Spencer says softly.

"I'm sorry I left. And didn't answer my phone or phone calls. I just needed to cool off. I'm a hot head. I didn't meant to take it out on you, though." I say feeling guilty after the words leave my mouth.

"No, Ash, don't apologize. This is how you work. I know, it's okay. I'm okay with it until you learn that you can talk to me about it. Until you understand you have me to talk to about everything that bothers you. Like my mother, of course." I sense the silliness in her tone.

I smile, turn the car around and start driving back to my house, "I'm turning around now to come get you."

"Or we can just stay in and watch TV if you want. At your house?" Spencer questions.

I nod even though she cant see it through the phone line, "Or we can do that," I sigh because I just have to say it, "You're great, you know that?"

She giggles, "Now I do."

"Good because someone should tell you that everyday of your life. I nominate myself for the role." I'm back to my hilarious self.

"Uh, I don't know. There are other contenders up for the award, we'll see who wins." Spencer continues the silly banter.

We talk on the phone until I get back to my house. I look across the street to see the Carlin's cars are all gone. I wonder if they're out looking for Spencer. Spencer's dad probably thinks I'm the devil now since his wife hates my guts.

"Hey, you." I hear Spencer's voice call to me.

I turn around and look at my front door. She's standing there looking like her usual stunning self. Wearing her adorable smile, "Hey." I say with a smile as I walk over to her.

Before I get a chance she kisses me and wraps her arms around my waist as I close the door behind us, "I missed you."

I smile into our kiss, "I saw you literally not even an hour ago."

She shrugs as I place my arms around her neck and rub her right ear with my thumb and index finger, "Doesn't mean I still couldn't have missed you, right?"

I roll my eyes and give her a quick peck on the lips, "No need to miss me. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. You're screwed now."

Her eyes turn dark and her smile is now a smirk, "I'm okay with getting screwed, trust me."

Whoa. How. Hot. Was. That. I'm totally speechless.

She notices this and laughs hard, "Can't handle sexpot Spencer right now?"

I feel a blush creep up on my cheeks, "No, I can't." I say quietly.

"Aw," Spencer kisses me quickly on the lips, "You're blushing. I think I deserve some type of points for making that happen."

I shrug, "Sure, why not? A thousand points for the Spencer. Happy?"

She rolls her eyes as she grabs my hands and we walk together to the couch in the living room. She pushes me down on the couch first then she sits practically on top of me. I got no problems with this, trust that.

She intertwines our hands and then picks up the remote, "What you feel like getting into tonight? Some real l word?"

I look at her and tilt my head to the side, "I can get into plenty of things. Television wise, though, Real L word's fine."

She kisses me on the cheek then rests her head on my shoulder as she turns to the On Demand.

Spencer and I sit on the couch for the next 3 hours just comfortably silent. Laughing, kissing occasionally, so this is what I've been missing in a companion. Someone that I can just sit and rot my brain with. This is great.

Spen sits up and stretches, "Oh, I'm so sleepy."

I follow suite and stretch just as she had done, "I know right? Let's go to sleep." I stand up.

"I should probably go home." She says pouting as she stands all up in my face.

"No, you can't leave now," I grab onto both of her hips and shake them lightly, "It's just now getting good."

She smiles and kisses me on the cheek, "I'm probably gonna be grounded."

"So, why not just enjoy the time you have with me before your evil mother tears us apart?" I ask.

She giggles, "Fine, you've convinced me. Let me call my dad and let him now that I have to work on a project with Kyla tonight. You think she'll play along?" Spencer asks innocently.

"I'll make her if she doesn't." I will murder Kyla's face if she messes this up for me. Really, I will. Blood or not.

She places one of her soft hands on the side of my face, "My knight in shining armor. Let me go make this call, okay?"

I nod as she removes her hand away from my face. I watch her walk away into another room. I look around the living room. Life's pretty good right now.

It's just too good for words. Well, besides the evil bitch mom that hates my guts. Eh, minor detail.

About a month has passed since the dinner fiasco. Yes, Paula dragon still hates my Spencer Lovin' guts with a the burning passion of a thousand suns. I've gotten over it. There are always gonna be people on this planet and in this life that aren't gonna approve of what I'm about. That's cool. As long as my significant other and myself are alright with what I do then I don't think anyone else matters. Well, there's Kyla, my mom and Jamie. But besides that, what else do I need?

As for Spencer and I, she hasn't been letting the mom situation effect us. It's just gonna be a hurdle for later to face since there's no need to do it now unless we want more stress. I mean, she does lie to her mom when she spends the night. Tells her that she's working on homework with my twin. That's mostly true because they're working on going to college and filling out applications together. I don't feel left out, college doesn't seem like me. There is a little part of me that wants to go just to try it out. Little part, nothing will come of it though.

Another thing, Spencer and Madison are becoming friends again. I cannot get rid of her. She's like that annoying cowlick that you just cant get to go away. Madison, the annoying cowlick. And where there's Madison there's Erin. I've been spending some time with her. Nothing too heavy, though, like movies or Starbucks twice a week. She's been good, in the sense that she's not trying to get in my pants or get back with me; could be because she's got someone new. I like it.

Prom's coming out so the girls have been chatting like hens. So, I've been stuck hanging with the guys because I'm not into the whole girly thing too much.

Right now, I'm sitting with Glen, Kyla's boyfriend, Aiden, Madison's boyfriend and Erin's new girlfriend, Terry. She hates me by the way. She's insecure about what Erin and I used to have. Why can't all girls be like Spencer?

I'm staring at Spencer while she goes over color schemes at the table across the quad. I stick my lip out and mouth that I miss her.

She smiles and mouths the same thing back to me.

Madison looks at me as she narrows her eyes then flicks me off. She snaps Spencer back into the conversation. I do the same and hear, "Dude, We should wear neon colored tuxes." That brilliant idea comes from Aiden. I know I hate him but he's stupid so I can't hold a grudge for too long. It's kinda like getting mad at a kid who doesn't know any better.

"Yes, dude, yes!" Glen high fives Aiden, "Best idea ever," Glen looks over to me, "You in, Ashley?" He asks.

"Uh, I haven't really given much thought about prom. I didn't think I was gonna go." I say a little hesitant. I think Spencer wants to go. Obviously, she's planning the damn thing.

Glen smacks me on the arm, "You're stupid. You haven't asked, Spence, yet?"

I shrug, "No, it hasn't come up." That's a lie, now that I think about it she's been dropping hints left and right.

He scoffs, "Yeah, right. Spencer's blatantly obvious about everything."

She is. Damn, you, Glen, "Well, have you asked my sister, yet, pansy boy?" I turn it around on him, quick thinking.

He begins to turn red, "Well, I don't—I don't know how to ask her. No moment ever seems right..." he trails off.

I chuckle, "Exactly." I say proud of myself.

Terry jumps in, "Well, I asked Erin while we were having sex. She never says no to anything during sex." She looks at me as she smirks deviously.

Was that supposed to get to me? I don't think it did. I'm just feeling a little disgusted right now, that's all.

I smile back at her, "So... what you're saying is that you had to ask her during sex otherwise you were afraid she was gonna turn you down? Sounds kinda desperate if you ask me." Zinger!

I hear a low growl come from her direction as Glen and Aiden crack up, "You are a bitch, you know that? I mean has anyone ever told you that?"

"Ooh, bitch. You couldn't be more creative and think of something actually worth a breath? I've been told I'm a bitch plenty of times. So, It must be true, right?" I'm just gonna feed her ego.

She shakes her head angrily, "I don't even know how Erin dated you."

I roll my eyes, "Easily. I'm sure you don't wanna know the juicy details, right?"

She stands up and leans over the table as she gets in my face. I do the same, "Keep talking and we're gonna be dancing soon." Who says that?

My smirk grows, "Good, my fists have been a little lonely since the last face I beat in. Make my fucking day."

The lunchroom grows silent and I can feel all eyes on us. We both kick out chairs back and walk around the table to meet each other halfway in the middle. We're face to face now. I can see every imperfection this girl has now. The big one being she's a bitch.

"Do something," She snarls at me.

"Ladies first." I say simply.

We take another step toward one another.

Please hit me. I need an excuse to beat down someone.

Just as she's about to try and take me down Spencer and Erin walk between the middle of us, "Ashley, no fighting, please? I'd like to see you around school so don't go getting yourself suspended."

She makes sense but I'm still looking past her and into Terry's malicious looking eyes, "Yeah, _Ash, _don't go getting yourself into something you can't handle."

I try to take another step toward her but Spencer grabs both of my hands, "Hey," she says catching my attention. I look down at her, "Please? For me?"

Most deadly words in a relationship. That's how she always gets me. Knowing I'll do anything for her. As long as she knows then.

I blink, "Okay. I'm gonna take a walk." I turn away from her.

She grabs onto my hand, "Can I come with you?" she asks.

I've never had a girl that I was seeing that wanted to walk with me and cool me off. When I've tried to run away from things they'd just let me. Spencer genuinely cares about how I feel. It's a really good feeling to be loved.

I nod with a smile, "Yeah." I say quietly.

We walk out of the quad hand-in-hand. I look over at Spencer as she stares straight ahead. I then look down at out hands. Spencer's never been one to hide what we have. Especially, not at school. It's almost like she's proud of what we have. I am, too, of course. It's just a different thing when someone else is on your same wavelength.

"Something wrong?" she asks. I hadn't noticed we stopped.

I shake my head from side to side, "Not at all."

She raises an eyebrow at me, "Don't be a liar."

I smile, "Nothing, really. I'm just glad we're together."

She looks like she's soaring, "Me, too. Very much, actually."

I study her. Eyes like magnets. Attracting me more and more each day, "Hey, I got a question for you."

We resume walking, "Yes?" she says not making eye contact with me.

"Are you really into all the prom stuff?" I bet you she's gonna try and play it off like it's no big deal.

"Yeah, I mean, it's a fun thing to do. The planning that is."

I smile a little, "So, you're just into the planning?"

She shrugs, "Yeah."

"So, you're saying if I asked you to go with me, you'd say no?" I stare at the side of her face as I say it.

She smiles big, "Depends on if you're asking."

I pull her into me as I wrap my arms around her, "Go to the prom with me, Spen. I know you want to."

She wraps her arms around my neck as mine rest on her hips, "How romantic. You get into a fight with your ex-girlfriend's girlfriend and then you decide to ask me out to prom. You are a regular Casanova, aren't you?"

I shrug, "If the shoe fits but I mean if you don't wanna go with me then..."

She kisses me on the lips, "Yes, I'll go with you to prom."

"Yes! When is it, anyway?" I ask.

She rolls her eyes as she scratches the back of neck lightly, "Really? I've been telling you this for the past two months."

I shrug with a smirk, "I've been preoccupied." I wink at her.

A blush creeps up to her face, "With what I wonder."

"I think you of all people know the answer to that question." I say wiggling my eyebrows suggestively.

She giggles, "You are such a perv."

I shake my head from side to side, "Nah."

"Uh, yeah," She nods.

"Would you rather have me any other way?" I ask trying to see if she'll boost my fragile ego a little. Ha, fragile.

"Naked?" she says.

That's my baby.

**Time for something I've never done before...**

**imaferrari: Yes, Paula grinds my gears as well.**

**Willowxxx: That's something you should never forget.**

**SouthMusiq91: Damn her straight to hell.**

**MittNacht: No anger between Spencer and Ashley, yet.**

**Irishgrl33: You'll soon see if she has a backbone or not.**

**.alex: I've recently been introduced to the greatness that is Death Cab, I've been under a rock for the past few years.**

**MattyBelkin: Thank you, boost my ego :)**

**Done, see you guys next year.**

**Just kidding.**


	40. Chapter 40

**Thanks for the reviews, as always.**

**I know Paula sucks, that was my intent but just think:**

**Would you have it any other way?**

**Enjoi.**

Why? Why me? What did I do to deserve such a life? Whatever I did, I take it back. I don't wanna be here. And by here I mean home with my family. It wouldn't be that horrible if my father wasn't here. I'm still furious with him. Mom keeps me updated on the divorce thing because he doesn't ever talk to me. She's actually been rather quiet lately, I haven't heard any updates on the divorce...

"So, how was school, girls?" my father asks as he slowly chews his food that my mother cooked him. I hope she sprinkled some poison in there. I mean if the cops come, I don't know a damn thing.

"Good, I had prom committee today. I can't believe there's like two more weeks before prom. I'm so wrecked." Kyla says.

"Are you taking the Carlin boy?" he asks.

Kyla brightens at the mention of the blonde boy, "Yeah. I finally had to ask him because I was tired of waiting for him to ask me. Hey, if you want something you gotta go for it, right?"

I chuckle to myself, "Good, good. And what about you, Ashley?" He asks.

I look from Kyla to him. I'm staring daggers, "I had detention. Nothing productive there. Unless you count the fact that I have a chair with my name on it there."

Turns out a teacher was watching Terry and I's little squabble and decided we needed to be punished. She's on the lacrosse team so she got suspended from that week's game and since I don't participate in school activities they just gave me the usual detentions after school and as an added bonus to never do it again I got Saturday detention as well. Needless to say, I've barely seen Spencer since I asked her to prom a week ago. Yeah, we call and text and she lives right across the street but she's back on the cheerleading squad and I feel like her mom has something to do with the separation.

Everyday last week they've had some family game night thing. I mean, Kyla went over there practically everyday last week because Paula invited her. So, I'm very sexually frustrated. I went from sixty to nothing within a week.

"Why this time, Ashley?" he asks sternly. Uh-oh, I think he's trying to be a parent now. How not cute.

"Felt like it." I shrug with a smile.

He bangs his fists down on the table as mom and Kyla jump. They stare between us, "Damn it, Ashley, why can't you just do what you're supposed to do?"

"Because then that would make you look good and looks are highly deceiving." I'm ready to get into a knock-out drag out yell war with my father.

"And what's that's supposed to mean?" He asks slowly.

How should I put this? "It means that you're a piece of shit but everyone thinks highly of you because all they see is that fake ass facade you put up to impress them."

"You don't talk to me that way. I am your father and you will treat me a such." Aw, I can tell he's getting angry. Do I care?

Nah, "Actually, in order to be treated as a father you would kind of have to act like a father. You know, like care about your kids. Love them unconditionally. Like all that shit that you don't do." uh-oh. This is going to turn into World War 3.

"Ashley, that's enough." Mom says to me quietly.

"No, shut up, let her speak." he says nastily to my mother. The mother of his children. That's just all kinds of wrong.

I stand up quickly out of my chair, "Don't you talk to her like that!" I raise my voice.

He gets up as well, "I'll talk to her however I please, she is my wife."

I scoff as I smile, "Wife? No. You're getting a divorce, remember? You don't get to call her that anymore. You cheating bastard. You ruin this family then think you can put it back together because YOU want it that way? No. Not happening. I'm not playing along with the 'Leave it to Beaver' shit. God, for once in your life, be real."

Kyla tries to quiet me by grabbing my hand but I'm too angry to shut up now, "Admit it. You're done with us. You wanna throw us away and move on. You wanna run away to Spain with your mediocre new assistant. I'm tired of beating around the bush, what the fuck do you want from us?"

Silence falls over the room like we've suddenly entered a funeral.

"Get out." He says

"No, Raife, you can't kick her out, she's-" my mom pleads before I cut her off.

I shake my head and shrug, "Nah, mom it's cool. I'll be glad to leave. If Raife can't handle the truth then I think that's his own fault. Don't feel bad for me. I'm gone." I kiss my mom on the cheek, "I love you." Then I walk over to Kyla and do the same to her, "See you at school." I look at my father. I use the term loosely, "As for you-"

"I don't wanna hear anything you have to say, Ashley," he says like that's really gonna shut me up. I'm not letting him off that easy.

"Too bad. You're a shitty excuse for a father and and an even worse excuse for a husband. There's nothing appealing about you except your money. When that runs out, who's gonna love you? Not the mother of your children. Not your children, we only put up with you out of respect. Now that that's all gone, what is there for you, hm?" I challenge him as I raise my eyebrow. Bring it, sucker.

An evil smirk creeps across his lips and I can do nothing but wonder why.

I inquire, "What are you smirking about?

"You really think I care about what you have to say? Some common slut that just so happens to be my daughter? I don't. Little do you know, I have a son on the way as we sit here and have this little chit-chat. That's who's gonna love me. That's who's gonna respect me. Along with his twenty-two year old mother."

What?

Time's slowed down.

I turn to look at my mother and you can see the break in her heart through her eyes. The look in her eyes makes me want to die.

I look over to Kyla. I can see the statue of her perfect daddy crumble shining through her watery eyes. Then I have this out of body experience and I see my face erupt with anger as I begin to shake and breath erratically.

Time resumes. "You son of a bitch!" I scream as I throw a glass plate at him. It nails him right in the head. I don't waste time on leaving after that. I'm too angry to look at him. I think I might kill him if I laid eyes on him again. That son of a bitch.

He calls me a slut before telling his family about another secret family he has? No way in the fucking world does he get off good saying that shit in my book.

I swing open the front door and I make sure not to close it behind me. Fuck the electric bill at this point. I walk with motive to my dear daddy's car. I reach into my pocket and pull out my trusty pocket knife. I bend down on one knee and go around his car one by one slashing every single one of his tires. Fuck him. Go to your new family now, dick.

I stand up and I stare across my lawn to Spencer's window. I can see her sitting at her desk. Probably writing an essay or something. I don't know if I should plague her with my problems right now, as big as they may be. She needs to focus in school instead of putting up with my bullshit.

Oddly enough, just as I think that she looks over in my direction and I feel her stare into my heart and she can tell how broken it is. How horrible I feel. How I so badly want her to hold me. How I just want her, and only her, to love me.

I'm gonna break soon.

Spencer bolts from her room and not even a minute later I see her walking out of her front door in her pajamas. Cute little bunny ensemble. I meet her next to my truck, parked in the road, "Baby, what's up?" she says out of breath, gripping my elbows with both hands.

I can't talk. Not that I don't want to. I want to tell her everything. And I mean everything, starting with when I took my first steps as a little one. Yep, that far.

"Ashley?" she says again.

I don't respond. I can't. Where'd my voice go? I just yelled at my father. It was definitely there a minute ago.

"Where are your keys?" She says. I hand them to her, "Get in your car. I'm driving."

I don't nod or confirm that I heard her. I do what she says and within a matter of seconds I'm on the road. Holding her hand so tightly as if the fate of the world depended on it. Well, my world does at least. I would never tell her that though, too much pressure.

I don't speak for the whole drive. We wound up at the beach house. I'm laying on the couch with Spencer. I have no clue what time it is nor do I think I care. We fell asleep on the couch facing each other with my hand on her hips and her hand on my face. I'm so comfy.

* * *

The whole time we've been here and awake she didn't badger me about what was the matter. She just knew I needed her here. Now. I love this girl. Nothing about her I can even complain about.

She can tell that I'm staring at her because the corners of her mouth curve upwards, "See something you like?"

"I see something I love." I kiss her on the forehead lightly.

She opens her eyes and looks up at me, "You should be asleep."

I shrug, "I think my time is better spent this way, thank you."

Her smile grows and I can see her teeth now, "Yeah?"

I nod once, "Absolutely."

She closes her eyes again, "I think I can deal with that."

"Better." I say quietly.

After a comfortable silence, "So, are we gonna talk about what has you so upset?" she says sweetly.

I sigh and groan, "Are you ready for this?"

She rubs my cheek tenderly, "Yes," she gave me goosebumps.

I tell her every little nasty detail about my family feud. She gasps at all the appropriate places and laughs at all the funny parts that she points out to me. Like, I wacked my father in the head with a glass plate then maliciously slashed his tires. I sound like an angry girlfriend.

Now we're at the end of the story, "I'm so sorry, baby." she says rubbing my head.

We've changed positions. She sitting on the couch with her legs crossed and my head is nicely placed in her lap, "It's not your fault. Not like you're the other woman."

I feel her shrug, "I don't even know what to say."

I sit up and look at her, "There's nothing to say. Don't tell me things are gonna be okay. Don't tell me it will all work itself out. I've been telling myself the same thing."

"But, baby," she grabs both of my hands and intertwines them with hers before she continues, "But it IS gonna be okay. And it WILL work itself out. I promise. It'll still hurt but the sting'll be gone. If it's not then you can hit me."

I smile at the last line, "I'm not gonna hit you, Spen."

She smiles with here eyes at me, "I wouldn't care you know. A little fire in the bedroom is nice."

I laugh out loud this time, "I love you. So much. I don't think you realize how much sometimes. It's a large amount."

She leans into me and kisses my lips so sweetly. Willy Wonka ain't got shit on my lady, "I do realize because it's the same amount that I love you."

I push her back on the couch and I straddle her as I pull up her shirt. I place my hands on both sides of her navel. She looks at me with lust in her eyes but it's not one of those moments...yet. "What did your mom say when you left?"

Spen closes her eyes, "I didn't even say anything. I just kind of left."

I chuckle a little, "So, there's gonna be a search party out for Spencer tonight?"

She shrugs as she smirks with her eyes still closed, "Spencer will be alright. She's in perfect hands right now."

Funny.

But my insecurities are kind of curious, "What if she finds out you're with me?" I say timidly.

This must catch Spencer's attention because her eyes pop open and she stares into my eyes intensely, "Then so what? You're my girlfriend. I think it's okay to be with you."

"But she doesn't know that. She just thinks I'm your slutty lesbian friend."

She places her hands on my hips and rubs them slowly, "What's the matter?".

"I love you and I don't wanna lose you. I don't want my life to be torn apart without you by my side. I feel like your mom plays a big role in rather you're by my side or not." boom, hey, Ashley's insecurities. How you been lately? Insecure? That's good. Go to hell.

"Aw, Ashley. My mom has no say in rather I should date you or not. I will do what I want rather she approves or not. Sooner or later she's gonna know and she's just gonna have to deal. She may not find out today or tomorrow or maybe within the week but I'll tell her when I'm ready. I promise." She sits up to beat it into me, I guess.

Music to my ears, "Okay. Moving on to our next topic of discussion."

"What's that?" she asks seriously

I pull my shirt off with a quickness, "Why are we still wearing clothes? We have tons of free time that we haven't had in like a week and I don't know about you but I got needs, woman."

She shakes her head as she hides her laughter, "Well, it's good to know what's important in our relationship."

I shrug, "You can't tell me you don't want it though." I know how to get under her skin in all the right ways. I trail my fingertips around her navel. Her breathing turns crazy quick.

"Why do you do these things?" She whispers with her eyes closed.

I shimmy down her body so I'm eye level with her stomach. I place light kisses on her stomach, "Because I'm a tease."

She places her hand over my mouth, "If you think that you're gonna tease me then you got another thing coming."

"Hm, coming? For some reason I am absolutely okay with that. Bring it." I stare her down as a I slowly crawl up her body.

She pulls me into a passionate kiss as her hands roam under my bra. She's getting far riskier with what she says and how she touches me.

By golly, I think I've unleashed the dragon. Roam free, little girlfriend.

**So, suggestions?**

**Comments?**

**Anything from the class about this one?**


	41. Final

**So, surprise!**

**This is the last chapter of Ashley Nobody.**

**Don't hate me.**

Can I please wake up like this everyday? Right next to my sexy, naked girlfriend. Is that in anyway possible? Just give me a sign.

"Ash..." she says with sleep gracing her voice.

"Mhm?" I mumble as I pull her closer into me. I'm spooning her. It's like one in the afternoon on a school day. Well, school started hours ago so technically it's a free day! Yay!

"You didn't set an alarm, did you?" she says.

I kiss her naked neck, "It wasn't the first thing on my to-do list. I had higher priorities if you catch my obvious drift."

She chuckles softly, "I hope they don't call home to my parents."

"No need to worry about that," I say with a huge smile. I'm a smart girlfriend. I predicted this very moment.

"Why would you say that?" she says flipping herself over on her back so she can look at me. The blanket is still covering her lovely bosom.

I look up at the ceiling, "I might've made a few changes to your personal information. Ahem, you're welcome."

"Ashley! What'd you do?" she says as all seriousness escapes her voice.

I smirk deviously, "I put my cell number in as your contact number for your parents so if anything were to come up then I'd get the call before anyone else."

She kisses me on the lips lovingly as her hand caresses my face. She pulls away a little then stares me in the eyes, "Don't you go changing my will."

I laugh, "Hey, I'm the bread winner here so I think you're alright."

She keeps her hand on my face as she rubs my face. She's just smiling lovely. I've never gotten a look like this from anyone. Of course, I've always gotten the lustful looks as well as the angry eyes that lead to sex but nothing endearing like the way Spencer likes to look at me sometimes.

"What are you going to do about your family?" she asks in a whisper as she rubs her thumb against my skin.

I shrug quickly, "Haven't thought about it really." Lie.

"Not one bit?" she asks. She knows I could possibly be lying.

"Nope." Lie.

She flicks me in the nose. Ow. Goddamnit that fucking hurt. I place my hands over my nose because that'll definitely soothe it, "What the fuck? Why?" I say a little angry.

"Aw, poor baby. Lemme see." she says bringing her hands up to my hands. She grabs them and moves them away from my face.

I'm like a little kid in the sense that I want her attention even though she's the one who hurt me. On purpose, "What'd I do to deserve that shit?"

"Because you lied to me." she says like its a matter of fact.

I sigh, "I don't know what I'm gonna do. I don't know. I wanna see my mom. I wanna know if she's okay."

"Hasn't she been acting quiet lately?" Spencer asks.

I nod.

"Chances are she already knew about the other woman and the kids. Maybe she was just too embarrassed to tell you and Ky?" Spencer suggests.

"Why would she be embarrassed? It's not like it's her fault or anything?" It's my dumb-ass father's fault for walking this earth as the dick that he is. He needs a total personality makeover.

"I don't know. I'd be embarrassed if you left me for some other girl. Period. I mean I'd be pissed for sure but I would definitely be embarrassed to know that I couldn't satisfy you. Imagine if we were married." Spencer says as she scratches the back of her neck.

I nod, "True." I'm gonna fuck with her a bit, "So, you've imagined us being married already?"

She raises both eyebrows in shock, "I mean—I've thought about being with you for a really super long time. And if we were together for so long then, yeah, we'd get married, right? You're not gonna just love me and leave me."

I smile, "Psh, wham, bam, thank you, ma'am. And I'm out of the door." I say jokingly.

She squeezes my hand, "Really?"

She's being serious. I shake my head from side to side, "No, babe, no. I can't see a life without you. I don't even know how I've survived this long in life without you. Now that I have you I'm not letting you go for someone better to scoop you up. Because you know that would happen, right? Someone better than me would scoop you right from under me if I ever strayed from you for a second. Everyone else seems to know that you're too good for me but you. I hope you don't smarten up." I say with a smile.

She blushes bright red, "Shut up. I'm not too good for you. I'm just as tainted as you are."

I scoff, "Psh, you're mistaken. Even Mary fucking Poppins is on a worse list than you, baby."

She lets go of my hand and throws it away from her, "Fuck you."

"Ooh! Spencer said a dirty word. You know what the does to me, don't you?" I say tickling her into oblivion.

Moments like this I feel like I should keep in my memory bank forever. I mean, I know I'm gonna make more with the same girl but it's just good to have. The icing on the cake is that I honestly believe that. That I'm gonna be in love with Spencer until the end of time.

Take your time, father time. I don't want to rush anything anymore.

I feel like for my whole life I've been living to die. Instead of dying to live. If that makes any sense to anyone else but me then congratulations. I just want to put this part of my life on pause.

I love my past. I'm grateful for it. If the past hadn't happened then I wouldn't have become who I am at this very moment. Someone that can be loved by another. I never knew how much I truly appreciated other people.

Life's just good. What more can I say?

This nobody is somebody.

**Don't worry there's a sequel.**

**I'm already writing it :)**

**I wouldn't leave you guys hanging.**

**I hope you enjoyed the first installment. **


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